Go Gillooly

This is just creative as hell and well worth watching. A song about all the people that could go Gillooly on Tom Brady.

Cold Hard Football Facts

Cold Hard Football Facts is a great site because they produce statistics and write about those statistics without trying to drum up storylines and create conflict where there isn't or shouldn't be.

Here is a blurb from the column that is linked in the title of the post.

We do know this: the Patriots are among the most balanced teams in football, passing the ball on 51 percent of their offensive plays. They're also a classic example of a team that builds a lead with the pass and then secures the lead with the run.

• The Patriots have passed the ball on 160 of 285 first-half plays (56 percent)
• The Patriots have passed the ball on 107 of 229 second-half plays (47 percent)

This is a good supporting statistic that they are not gunning it completely on every play in the second half and more importantly the 4th quarter. That they are running up the score is not really the question, but the fact that the first half dominance is so completely, the opposing defenses become lifeless 5 minutes into the 3rd quarter and shut it down. God forbid the Patriots mix up the plays a bit.

Here is another great point that no one outside of CHFF has pointed out (that I've found):

The famous undefeated Dolphins didn't even offer the pathetic Patriots (who went 3-11) a single glimmer of hope that year. In fact, Miami reserved its biggest beating for its northern rivals: the Dolphins won, 52-0.

Love this Jets fan's diatribe against Bill Belichick. Not safe for work language. of course if you're quick with the mouse just drag the volume slider down when the words "piece of..." appear.

This is what we affectionately refer to as a third rail member of society. Love the Pennington jersey on backwards. "Do you know who Chad Pennington is? Chad Pennington is superman!"

Tuesday Early Afternoon Quarterback

I was just about to finish the column, you know reading the sweet-sour plays, skipping the astronomy lessons, and getting back to the football portion, and I was getting nervous that there were only a couple of snide remarks on the Patriots, until the end of the column. Sadly, all he did was regurgitate the same bile that has been written a hundred times in the last two days and really added nothing.

"Why Williams kept calling vanilla defenses in the fourth quarter, passively submitting to being mocked, is something only he knows. But the fact that Washington took its humiliation lying down is no excuse for New England's classless victory."

Here's a novel concept for you Gregg. If a team is getting destroyed, why shouldn't they raise the white flag? Why should the conqueror put in their replacements, run the ball up the middle only, never try for a first down, while the team being destroyed decides to run their last 10 plays out of a no-huddle shotgun? And when they finally did score their garbage-time TD, they tried an onside-kick.

Why should the Patriots (or anyone interested in keeping a mental edge), take the foot off the gas, if the other team is going 100% with a 2-minute offense and onside kicks with more than 8 minutes left in the game?

Why isn't it the sportsmanlike thing to do for the team that got destroyed, to just run out the clock with draws up the middle? As for playing your starters when they could get hurt...why not take Jason Campbell out? Brady hadn't been touched in two quarters, and only sacked 5 times on the year, so he was clearly in no danger, but Jason Campbell was getting wrecked. If the game is already over, why isn't Joe Gibbs taking him out? The more obvious risk was to Campbell not to Brady. Even if they sent a double blitz as you suggested, that meant 2-3 receivers would be open immediately and the ball would be out of his hands so quickly that any attempt to tackle Brady would be an obvious cheap shot.

But wait....the cheap shot is okay, but playing your starters in the first 7 minutes of the 4th quarter is classless. Ok, now I get it. *By the way, a number of people including Michael Wilbon, suggested doing this very thing. The Colts are legitimately classy, but if anyone can get to Brady fast enough to take out the knees it's Dwight Freeney. The good thing is, he can then go seek absolution from the Reverend Tony Dungy.

One other thing. Is it possible for a defense to be classless in a blowout, or just the offense? If you blitz in the 4th quarter with a big lead is that shameful? No doubt we'll find out in the coming weeks when the defense continues to pick off passes with two minutes left and runs them in for a touchdown instead of immediately falling to the ground in a protective fetal position.

Karma is a Bitch

Karma: action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation

The good thing about karma is that it probably won't affect you until you're reincarnated, say as a salamander or head coach of the Jets. Considering his immense fortune so far in this current incarnation, Bill "Dr. Evil" Belichick apparently did enough in his former life to bank a lot of karma for this go round. Fortunately for us, he's unlikely to be reincarnated again as coach of the Patriots so why should we be concerned about cosmic consequences as many many media and football players have suggested in recent weeks? It's much more likely that he'll be reincarnated as coach of the Bruins, Cubs, or Knicks anyway.

Speaking of Karma, if Belichick has banked enough good karma to get this far, what about the bitch slap that karma laid down on Eric "the bull" Mangini (1-5 this season) since he ratted his mentor out in Week 1? Yes, karma is a bitch, but an inconsistent and flighty bitch, that is obviously a Patriots fan.

Do You Have a Problem with that Mr. Lawrence?

And an item I made up so that I could justify creating the picture to the right...

ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that Eric Mangini brought along a friend to try to convince Bill Belichick and Sensei John Kreese, not to pick on them and score 100 points in their December 16th meeting. In exchange, Mangini agreed to be fired at the end of the season if the Patriots won the All Valley Superbowl Championship. "That's the only way I could have balance...with my players and my future job interviews," Mangini said.

Copyright violations in this post are too numerous to list here.

Randall Godfrey - You Must Respect the Game

Randall Godfrey confronted the anti-christ at midfield after Sunday's game to tell him that "(he) needs to show repsect for the game. You just don't do that. I don't care how bad it is. You're up 35 points and you're still throwing deep? That's no respect."

You'd think Randall would be more sympathetic to evil since he's a co-owner of a funeral home in Florida. And showing the game respect Randall usually involves getting more than 1 tackle on the day when you're getting paid more than $1 million.

Can you Feel the Hate?

After about week 3 I started thinking about whether the Patriots might actually be trying to run up the score because until that time it was still difficult to tell. Now that the 52-7 drubbing of the most recent "first team to test the Patriots" is over, we can say, yes Virginia, there is an evil god who lords over all that is football. He who laughs in the face of karma (at least 4 columns mentioning how karma is going to come back to hurt the Patriots, up from last week's high of 2).

One of those people mentioning karma was Mike Ditka (though to be fair he wouldn't actually recognize the word and instead used the sage philosophical proverb "what comes around..sometimes goes around"). Perhaps the former coach of the former greatest team ever doesn't recall Superbowl XX, a 46-10 shellacking of the Patriots. The game was over by half time. I don't remember Jim McMahon sitting out the fourth quarter as evil demi-god Tom Brady is expected to do every week.

Now, although the columns calling for the banishment of the Patriots and sending Bill Belichick to the ninth circle of hell will far outway any positive commentary about yesterday's game, we're starting to see a little bit of a change in the righteous attitude coming in the columns on the subject as more and more media members seem to be (almost but not quite) defending the Patriots running up the score (see John Clayton's column - link to the left).

Personally I'm hoping they reset their moral compasses and get back to the nastiness of the previous weeks. Fortunately, tomorrow's TMQB column on ESPN.com is all but a lock to continue the crusade against the heathen Patriots.

And if you're a columnist out there looking for a slightly different angle to kill the Patriots on, well the Redskins' headsets weren't working for part of the game yesterday. And so the season of evil continues unabated...

Evil Will Always Triumph Because Good is Dumb

If there was any thought that the rest of the League would eventually grow tired of the "running up the score" crying, that thought was put to rest today when the evil, classless Patriots ran the score up to 52-7 by throwing it on 4th down up by a zillion points. The game story isn't nearly as interesting anymore as the crying that goes on from former players and current players. Let's get a sampling:

"That's running up the score, there isn't any other way to look at that," DL Phillip Daniels said. "C'mon, man, you're going for it on fourth down and you're up by 38 points. You're throwing the ball late in the game. Most teams just run the clock out to get the win. They don't think like that, but I guess it's our job to stop them. You can't do anything about it, just go out and play defense and try to stop them."

Yes, Daniel it's your job to stop them. Why not give that a try instead of whining.

Mark Schlereth of ESPN's NFL Blitz, said that there are "unwritten rules" in the NFL about running up the score and that the Patriots will have a big giant bullseye on their back now. You know...because they were previously sneaking up on people. Schlereth also describes Belichick's move to keep Brady in for part of the 4th quarter as "arrogance or stupidity."

See this is why good is dumb and evil will always triumph. The Patriots want and need the bullseye. It's a motivator when you're destroying teams by 25 points per game. No one wants to see Brady get hurt, but then again if you were watching the game, you saw that the Redskins defense didn't even bother to attempt a real pass rush in the 4th quarter. Besides, evil doesn't merely extend a hand to pull their opponent off the ground, they step on their backs and laugh hysterically. Then they step on them again...and again. And that's what the great evil teams do.

ESPN Exile Jason Whitlock Defends the Classless Patriots' tactic of running up the score

Jason Whitlock tells it like it is (in his mind). Fortunately, his mind is more rational than the rabble-rousers who make up most of the ESPN contributors and columnists around the country who aspire to be ESPN contributors. Whenever you read a JW column, you end up saying to yourself "Thank you!" because finally someone hasn't joined hands with the rabble-rousers to jump off the bridge in hysterics, all in an effort to create conflict.

Below is a nice example of that.

6. The biggest non-controversy this week was the Patriots allegedly running up the score on the Miami Dolphins.

In the NFL, it is impossible to run up the score. A coach is obligated to score as many points as he possibly can. Heck, yes, the Patriots should've been in their two-minute offense and trying to score just before halftime. And Belichick had every right to re-insert Tom Brady into the game after Jason Taylor's pick-6 cut the lead to 21 points in the fourth quarter.

The Dolphins collect million-dollar checks just like the Patriots. New England isn't in a BCS conference and Miami isn't a mid-major program. I don't even know how this became a debate.

Junior Seau on the EDL (Evil DL) this Week

While US Officials offer a reward for information leading to the arrest of the Arsonist that started the fires in California (officials can not rule out Bill Belichick as a person of interest since the fires could affect the Chargers this weekend, thereby putting a wrench in their sudden resurgence), we have the classless Junior Seau, (he as you will remember wanted to get in on the last play of the Dallas Game to help score a touchdown before a dissident coach pulled him back), going on the Evil Disabled List, so that he could help provide sanctuary for his employees and others in San Diego. From Mike Reiss' blog on boston.com:

Seau had traveled to the San Diego area earlier this week, returning to the Patriots on Wednesday morning. He has turned his restaurant into a shelter for employees, and said that as many as 100 people were sleeping there last night.

Seau was asked how difficult it has been for him to prepare for Sunday's game against the Redskins.

"Trying to balance it, it's tough, it's not something you expect," he responded. "But it's something that needs to be done. The businesses out there that I hold, and obviously my foundation and family -- and it's the community I live, my home. It's part of the package this week. Hopefully next week we'll have a softer load. Until then, they are definitely heavy on my heart. ...

Evil Disrespectful Tom Brady

From Mike Reiss' blog on boston.com

Brady was asked how he feels about Gibbs' comments that the Redskins will "probably be the biggest underdog in the history of sports" when the teams meet Sunday.

"I think he’s blowing smoke," Brady said. "I promise you that he’s not telling his team that. I’m sure. That sounds like something that Coach Belichick would say so he’s trying to butter us up. You know, it doesn’t work for us. We know what we’re getting ourselves into. We’re playing one of the best defenses in the league and they’ve been in every game this year. They’re 4-2, could easily be 6-0."

Gibbs' response?

"What I was trying to be there was real truthful about it," he said. "What are we now? I don’t know. How many points?"

Told that the point spread had the Redskins around a 16- or 17-point underdog, Gibbs said: "17 or 16? Is that blowing smoke? I would say 17-point underdog, I’d say that’s pretty realistic. And it will probably climb, let’s put it that way. They’re at the top of their game and I think everybody in the world realizes that I wasn’t trying to blow smoke. I was trying to be realistic. I was trying to say, 'hey look, these are what the facts are.' I wasn’t trying to kid somebody; I think that’s the deal."

Welcome to the Evil Patriots Blog

If you're not an astute observer of sarcasm, you may be quite shocked to find out that this is a blog mocking the widespread media coverage of the New England Patriots, and their Stalin-like purge of all that is sacred and sportsmanlike in football. Since there is no shortage of stories decrying the foul tactics of Bill Belichick and the Patriots on any given day, the initial "pit in your stomach embarassment" that Pats fans felt when "Spygate" was in it's infant stages, has slowly but surely turned us around in a WWF-like double-cross, to the point where we are now basking in the pure concentrated evil of their ways.

For example: A few weeks ago my reaction to running up the score was "hmm..now why would they do that?" to two weeks ago "well that's the Eff You touchdown (dubbed by Bill Simmons)" to this past week against the hapless dolphins and the "eff you we're putting brady back in because it almost looked like you tried on that last drive" moment where the collective fans of the Patriots gave a solid Vincent Price-like "bwaahahahahahaha".

If you're a Patriots fan, I hope you're enjoying this, because it's fun to be evil. And this blog will seek to provide some black humor and links to poor whining media columns (see every Tuesday Morning Quarterback column from this season so far). Enjoy the ride that these phenomenal and evil Patriots are taking you on.

And if you really hate the Patriots, then please feel free to comment and post your disdain. Your anger only makes us stronger.