Monday Morning Left Tackle

The last weekend of the regular season...yeesh.

Three exciting things happened:
1. Patriots - Giants and the numerous storylines from both sides
2. The Devin Hester show.
3. The Redskins got in and won every game since Sean Taylor's funeral (is there a morbid Patrick Ewing theory correlation in here at all Sportsguy?)

That's it. The rest of the weekend was terrible.

Some thoughts on the end of the regular season

• Stupid Flanders didn't even try to get the ball back in the final minute of the Colts-Titans game yesterday where they would have had a very small chance at kicking a field goal or heaving a hail mary to win the game. Why? Stupid Flanders and his lack of killer instinct. The Anti-Christ would have done it and won and evil disrespectful Tom Brady would have laughed all the way off the field.
• Since this is the Evil Patriots Blog, I must say how sad I am at the lack of vitriol directed at the Patriots over classless moves that have gone under the radar at the end of the season. We all know that Vince Wilfork was not trying to poke the guy's eye out, but I certainly thought I'd read about it in the New York Post, LA Times, or some other rag with an axe to grind.
• "That defense is suspect and could be the downfall in the playoffs" is the angle du jour for how the Patriots are (for the 6th consecutive week) very beatable. Not just beatable...very beatable. Why? The defense gave up 28 points (7 came off the kick off return). That is the most points they've given up this year and it was to a QB who played out of his head a la Jay Feeley. The Patriots have the #4 overall defense in the NFL this season. The Colts are the only comparable team because both their offense and defense rank in the top 5. Let's face it, the Patriots have been on cruise control for the last quarter of the season. Like all three superbowl teams, they did enough to win. They keep talking about Bruschi and Seau being old, but Bruschi is only playing half of the defensive snaps with Seau playing a little more. They are rested and will get more rested during the bye week. The defense is what it always has been: bend don't break. They'll give you the yards and let you try a field goal or get a turnover.
  
• Tangent Alert: How about those Celtics? Last night's Celtics-Lakers game was one of the most enjoyable games I've seen in 15 years. So nice to see the Celtics playing at a higher level than the Lakers. Don't know that I needed another interview with Donnie Wahlberg though.
  
• I'm going to miss the Jets. It was fun watching them implode week after week this season. Only 7 months to go before the start of training camp.
• I like how the Anti-Christ went out of his way to quote Parcells during his post-game press conference. It kind of sets the tone for how their relationship will be with him back in the division.
• I feel bad for the Browns fans today. They did blow it by losing to the Bengals last week, but it was a great ride for those fans who's coach was firmly on the hot seat to start the season and no one had ever given a second thought to Derek Anderson.

Should be a good wild card weekend. For Patriots fans here are a couple of things to keep in mind if you're feeling only cautiously optimistic:

1. Belichick has game film on every possible team that they can play in two weeks. He'll have a game plan in place the minute their opponent is decided and they'll be well ahead of whoever they play.
2. The offensive and defensive play-calling for the Patriots has been very vanilla for the last several weeks. I think that's on purpose and I think you're going to see something different and deadly effective right out of the gate in their first game.
3. Rest. They all need it, they'll get it, and they'll still be the most focused team on the field. Seymour needs the rest, Moss needs the rest, Bruschi needs the rest, Watson needs the rest, and Maroney needs the rest. And hopefully Kyle Brady, Nick Kaczur, and Stephen Neal will be active and rested.

Happy New Year!

Pats - Giants Recap

Yesterday, I watched way too many NFL shows, including NFL Countdown and the awful Fox Sports Football Preview. I have to think if you're a hater of the Patriots that you have to be a little bit torn about whether to root for them to go 19-0 if you saw Don Shula and Mercury Morris on ESPN's NFL Countdown. Shula never says a sentence that includes a compliment of another team, unless he first compliments his own. Mercury Morris is just downright obnoxious in the worst way...he tries to be funny, fails miserably, and downplays everything the Patriots have done. Even if they win it all, according to Morris, "we'll be on the inside pole, they'll be on the outside."

What is it about NFL players becoming so defensive and bitter about their records. Jerry Rice did the same thing twice this year, complaining about Moss being "given the NFL record" by the NFL for most TD's in a season, when he did it in 12 during a strike year. It's called the "most TD receptions in a season" Jerry, get over it. No one is every going to talk about Moss' record without mentioning how you got 22 in only 12 games, and no one is ever going to call him a better player than you. Get over yourself.

One other thing on the NFL Countdown. Mike Ditka is just as much, probably more so, bitter about the success of the Patriots than Don Shula and the rest of the '72 Dolphins are. He's been hearing for 22 years now how his 85 Bears are the best team ever, and now people are talking about this Patriots team taking that over if they win. That doesn't sit well with Ditka, who apparently isn't aware, that he's only in studio for unintentional comedy, rather than insightful NFL analysis. No talking head hates the Patriots more than Ditka. He was the only one who took the Giants last night, which would be fine considering the outcome, if he actually believed the Giants would play the best game of their year. He downplayed the significance of 16-0 completely.

This was the greatest regular season performance EVER. There is no comparison. The Dolphins played 2 total games against opponents with winning records. The problem is, the people who are writing today that it doesn't mean anything unless they win it all, are missing the point. It's still been 35 years since someone else has won all of their regular season games. The last 8 games, just about every team plays you like its their most important game of the season. If they go on to lose in the playoffs you can't take any of that away. You can't put them in the conversation of the "greatest team of all time" either, but you can't just say it was a complete failure.

Some thoughts on the game last night:

• I have never seen Eli play that well and would be shocked to see it happen two weeks in a row. Rolling out to the right and hitting Plaxico Burress in the endzone like that was something I didn't think he had the capability to do. Maybe this helps him turn the corner, we'll see.
• Rodney needs to relax a bit. Not a lot. Just a bit.
• Won't be talked about much, but it was great to see Gostkowski hit all three field goals in this game, with a lot of pressure on him. He's had a sub-par year, but hopefully this gave him a lot of confidence heading into the playoffs.
• Vince Wilfork was not trying to poke his eye out, he was making the gesture to "wipe the tears out of your eye" because the guy was crying about something.
• It wouldn't be a defeat to the Patriots unless you had someone (Plaxico Burress) complain about the officiating and no calls going their way.
• Ellis Hobbs is that classic player that gets burned all game, then makes a critical interception in the 4th quarter that prevents you from completely tearing into the guy. It's actually kind of maddening.
• I didn't mind Chris Collinsworth last night. He had some decent insight. Bryant Gumbel, however, continues to be beyond awful, and as long as he is there I am perfectly fine not having NFL Network.
• It was very surprising to see that Ben Watson was on the field for 66 of 68 snaps (see Mike Reiss' blog for all the offensives participation stats). I think he'll be fine after those initial two drops, but I hope he gets a lot of work in practice because he'll need it on those few plays where he won't be called on to block.
• Hopefully they'll get healthy before taking the field in two weeks. They've really missed Kyle Brady and Ben Watson, and now the right side of the offensive line.
• I'd like to see a stat on how often Wes Welker has been tackled by the first guy to approach him after the catch this season. It's basically a given that that guy is going to dive at air now. You expect an extra 3-5 yards on every catch.
• Tom Brady, nothing forced, typically great performance. 50 TD. Just unbelievable.
• On the defensive side, there was very little pressure put on Eli, which is a bit concerning, especially considering how important line pressure will be against every team in the AFC playoffs except the Chargers (stuff the run instead). Hopefully some rest will get them where they need to be.

Can't wait for the playoffs. It's going to be a long wait, but until then we can enjoy the back and forth between the writers/talking heads who go overboard with compliments and those that fight back with downplaying it completely. Hopefully we don't have to hear from Mercury Morris again until after the Superbowl.

Drudge Report Early Leader for Goofiest Headline of the Night

Week 17 Picks

The hype is getting a little silly for this game. 16-0 would be fantastic but all of these writers who are pumping up the game and including the word "history" and "perfect" into the result of it, will be coming back next week with "well that was just the start of the journey...". Bill Parcells sat with Chris Berman and proceeded to predict the 2007 Patriots would win over every "greatest team ever" contender out there. Tom Brady is now the best QB to ever play the game. Everyone except the '72 Dolphins themselves think the Patriots would roll over that team. Bill Belichick is the best coach in the history of the NFL. These are all great stories I'd love to read in the week following the Superbowl, but...

Let's say the Patriots lose in the playoffs and the Colts go on to win again. The story changes and every sportswriter will develop selective amnesia. The Colts will be a dynasty, Manning will be back in front of the Manning/Brady debate, and the Patriots will be listed on all future "greatest teams of all time" lists somewhere around #10. Belichick will go back to beating just a cheater who ran up the score and wore a hoodie, a fashion disgrace to the good men who dress in warmup nylon suits and fleece pullovers.

So the hype is fun, but it's almost like setting us up for a fall. Take away the hype and if the Patriots lose, it will just be disappointing. But with all the hype and the hyperbole, a loss in the playoffs will bring the kind of media hypocrisy backlash like no other team has ever seen.

But first things first and tomorrow's game can't get here soon enough...so on to the picks:

Pats @ Giants (+14.5) - The records will be secure in the 1st half, except for Moss' 2nd TD, which will take some time in the 3rd quarter. Belichick will play all his players through the 3rd quarter with a 21 point lead, prompting Bryan Gumbel to question Belichick's strategy, while Deion Sanders mutters something incoherently with the fervor of a crack addict who just spotted his dealer. Fortunately, I live in Boston, so I won't be subjected to Gumbel and will watch the game on ABC instead. The Giants will play their starters through the 1st quarter and that's it. They'll already be down 2 TD at that point, so it'll be time to sit. Antonio Pierce will still be unimpressed with the Patriots, but he'll have time to learn to like them since he'll be home playing golf before the Patriots start their postseason run.

At this point, I'm only going to bother picking the games that have some kind of impact since this is mail-it-in week.

Titans @ Colts (-5.5) - Titans need the game, Stupid Flanders has already said he'll rest Manning, so there's not much chance of Jim Sorgi leading a charge. I do expect Manning to play a quarter if Marvin Harrison is actually ready to play so that they can get some reps together, but that's about it.

49ers @ Browns (-9.5) - Browns will dominate because they need to win to keep the final wild card spot away from the Titans. The 49ers will lose and the Patriots will get the 8th overall pick, which is fine.

Cowboys @ Redskins (-8.5) - Weird to see the Redskins giving 8.5. The game is at Washington, which helps, Todd Collins hasn't come back to earth yet, so the Redskins will win and take home the 6th seed. They won't cover though.

Saints @ Bears (+2.5) - Saints need to win (which they will) and losses by the Vikings and Redskins. Tall task, not going to happen. They'll win, but their not-so-magical season is over. Maybe the real Drew Brees will show up next year.

Vikings @ Broncos (+2.5) - The Vikings win, capping off a good year (no arrests) and the promise of a better year next year if Adrian Peterson can stay healthy. The Broncos will go have a beer with the Ravens and wonder what went wrong. Billick and Shanahan will be thankful that their safety deposit boxes each contain incriminating evidence against their owners, thereby keeping their jobs safe for another year.

The NFC is 2 games ahead of the AFC this year in conference matchups. What does this mean? Nothing except it gives a sportswriter something to write about in the days leading up to the Pro Bowl. I'm picking an even split this weekend to give the NFC the regular season moral victory.

Coming Sunday, recap of the Patriots-Giants game. Enjoy the game.

Buildup to the new most highly anticipated game in NFL History

The hype, the made-up storylines, and all of the time being dedicated to this game makes it feel like the week leading up to the Superbowl minus the obnoxious press day.

Most media people are split down the middle on whether the Giants should rest their starters. If you're a former player, your on the side of them playing the whole game to win. If you're not from the player side, you either want them to rest the players outright or play the starters for a half to see if they can stay close enough to make it a possibility.

It's pretty obvious how this is going to turn out isn't it?

1st quarter:
Patriots defense focuses SOLELY on Brandon Jacobs and lets Keanu Manning stare vacantly off into space to attempt an ill-advised pass. Jacobs gets stuffed. Manning gets stuffed and thats about it.

Patriots get the ball, immediately air it out and miss. Then dink, dunk, and run until they get to the redzone and bring in vrabel for the touchdown catch.

Patriots score again on a INT return for a TD.

2nd quarter:

Patriots stop the Giants on 3 and out.

Giants get a sack of Tom Brady..half the crowd goes wild.

The following play, Welker catches a 7 yard pass and runs for an additional 25. Wind taken out of sails.

The next three plays are all 10+ yards of passes and a run for 15. Brady to Moss for the TD.

21-0 7:52 left in the 2nd quarter.

Plaxico Burress, Amani Toomer, Michael Strahan, Osi, Keanu, thank you for playing, enjoy the bench.

Second half:

Brady gets the ball on the Patriots 25. 8 of 8 passes later and another scoring touchdown, Brady locks up the passer rating record and leaves for the day. Moss is the only question mark here.

Brady throwing 2 TD is a lock. The Patriots scoring more than 5 points to get the scoring record is a lock. Moss catching two TD is not a lock. That is the only thing the Giants have any control over. And it's only a little control.

Patriots win 35-7 (late garbage time TD by a Giants player I've never heard of)

Here's the thing the media people aren't talking about because it's not as juicy and no other game on the schedule looks really meaningful.

Even if you put the starters in the for the whole game, the Giants have very little shot to actually win. When Baltimore, Philly, and NYJ played the Patriots tough, it was their Super Bowl, because they were already out of the playoff picture and had nothing else to play for, which was motivation enough for the game. But the Giants have been 1 and done in the playoffs the last two years and don't want that to happen again against a Bucs team that has been game planning for them since Sunday. On top of that, the Giants defense is good, but gave up an average of 31+ points in the only three games they played against playoff teams this year (Cowboys, Cowboys, and Packers). The offense is banged up and then think: Belichick vs. Eli Manning.

And that's enough reason to know that no matter how RestGate plays out, the Giants have already lost.

One more thing, if Tom Coughlin said from the beginning that we was going to sit his players after the 1st quarter no matter what, he would be crucified right now, with all of the former players turned commentators leading the charge. This game has no significance outside of stats.

But, Tony Stupid Flanders Dungy is already on record saying his starters will sit in a game where a loss by them heavily impacts the AFC Wild Card. Would anyone dare criticize him? Of course not.

Now let's play some foobow...

Patriots, Jaguars, and Colts - How do they stack up?

If you ask most people who the biggest threat(s) to the Patriots are in the playoffs, they'll say the Colts and Jaguars in that order.

The Jaguars are on fire coming down the stretch to the playoffs. If this were baseball, they would be the Rockies (I don't think I have to tell you who the Patriots would be). While Fred Taylor is consistently being talked about week in and week out as the most underrated player (kind of a paradox in itself), David Garrard is having the 3rd best QB season in the AFC this year.


We all know about the Colts offense and a little about the defense, so here is a look at these three teams and how they look heading toward the playoffs. I'm doing it this week since the final game for all three will be no indication of their season.


There are a lot of numbers here but a glance at them tells you that each of the three teams has played comparably ranked opponents over that time. It's a big mix of really bad def/off units and top 10 ranked units. The only loss among the three teams in the past 6 weeks came on the Jaguars 3 point loss to the Colts.

We already know that the Colts and Patriots match up closely with each other. But looking at how the Jaguars are playing, it's not difficult to make a case that they could be a stopper as well.

A lot of us assumed that when Dwight Freeney went down in week 10 that the Colts would be cooked because the guy that demands a double team on the outside frees up an extra man to watch Robert Mathis, the other fierce pass rusher. The Colts have given up an average of 16.1 points per game over the last 6, but they've also faced some pretty bad offenses in that time. If the Colts have an advantage, it is that they are very familiar with both the Patriots and Jaguars, enough so, that they won't be surprised by anything either team can concoct on offense. The Patriots scored 28 points against the Colts in their week 9 match up, but that was with Dwight Freeney on the end causing havoc against Matt Light. Matt Light struggles against the very elite DE's in the league but against everyone else he's pretty dominant. That's bad news for a Colts defense who's offense is not head and shoulders above the Patriots like they were in last year's AFC Championship game.

The Jaguars have a healthy Fred Taylor tearing it up, which is a good reason why David Garrard has been successful and accurate. They are a run first team with a smart QB who is making few mistakes. The Jaguars' defense is a unit no one talks about, but is getting better each week. They are giving up 16.3 points per game, but like the Colts, have played some really bad offenses in the past 6 games.

The Patriots defense has come on strong toward the end which is typical of a Patriots defense. They have given up 15.3 points per game in the last 6 and the offenses they have faced have been comparable to those that the Colts and Jags have faced.

Patriots gave up 20 to the Colts
Colts gave up 25 to the Jags
Colts gave up 24 to the Patriots
Jags gave up 28 to the Colts

The Patriots (15.3), Colts (16.3), and the Jaguars (16.1) have given up a very even amount of points against pretty comparable offenses. It's safe to say that all three defenses right now are playing at a very similar level.

Therefore, it's really going to be the play of the offenses and special teams, that separates these three teams. This is why the Patriots are #1, Colts are a fairly close #2, and the Jaguars are a little more distant #3.

The Steelers, Chargers, Browns, and whoever gets in between the Titans and Browns have too many holes to beat either of the three teams above, which is why I didn't add them here. Stranger things have happened, but won't this year.

It does look like there are 3 very strong AFC candidates and 3 not so strong candidates. Unfortunately the way it works out, I would guess the Patriots will get the Jaguars in round 2, while the Colts get the Steelers or Chargers. So, just like 2004, if the Patriots are going to run the table they'll have to face the very best teams at each step of the way.

Week 16 Picks

Tom Brady today won the AP Male Athlete of the Year Award.

I feel bad for Roger Federer. He's more dominant in his sport than Tiger Woods will ever be, more dominant an athlete than Barry Bonds ever was, and almost certainly the best his sport has ever seen. Too bad his sport is Tennis and he's not an American, so we don't really care here. He was the runner-up this year to Brady, who is having one of the best (if not THE best) QB season ever. So there really is no way to deny him.

Moving on to the picks...

Steelers beat the Rams last night by a lot. But lost Willie Parker. Ben got a perfect passer rating with these numbers: 16-20 for 261 yards with 3 TD. Whic of course begs the question. Will they really miss Parker, or is it time to take the handcuffs off Big Ben and let him sling it? If I were a Steelers fan, I would want to see Big Ben sling it around 40 times to see what happens.

All picks in bold are against the spread:

Cowboys @ Panthers (-10) - Tony Romo bounces back, Jessica Simpson stays home, and things go back to normal. Dallas needs the win to try to keep up with Green Bay for the #1 seed.

Giants @ Bills (+2.5) - I like the Bills to finish strong and the Giants to finish like they always do...meek. It will be a close one but the Bills will pull it out in the end. The Bills are out and the Giants need a win to maintain playoff positioning, but it doesn't matter. Eli Manning is your quarterback and this game is in Buffalo.

Packers @ Bears (+8.5) - The Ultimate Warrior puts another notch on his belt with a dominating win at Chicago. And like the Cowboys they are fighing for the #1 seed and are on the wrong side of the tiebreaker. By the way, I'd like to see Lovie Smith coach the Dolphins next year.

Browns @ Bengals (+2.5) - Put all of your Christmas money on the Browns. The Bengals have no life left in them. By the way, I think Marvin Lewis would be a good fit for the Dolphins as well. You can have Parcels kick the butts of all the thugs, and Marvin can focus on coaching.

Chiefs @ Lions (-4.5) - Remember when the Lions were 6-2 and on top of the world? Now they're getting 4.5 points against the Chiefs. Just brutal. Matt Millen, the Isiah Thomas of the NFL, no doubt will return next year for another great season of bad draft picks and no free agent signings. They've lost 6 straight but I'm still taking the Lions this week.

Texans @ Colts (-6.5) - I think it's too early for the Jim Sorgi show, considering they have a first round bye as well, so I figure they'll blow out the Texans and put Sorgi in around the mid-third quarter. Either way, they cover and the Texans remain the Texans.

Raiders @ Jaguars (-12.5) - Jaguars are scary good now. The Raiders are still just scary. Who would have thought Willie Parker would be down for the count before Fred Taylor (now considered a borderline hall of famer somehow by ESPN).

Redskins @ Vikings (-6.5) - If Sean Taylor is a member of the Pro Bowl team for the NFC this year, can we get one of Michael Vick's dogs to be the mascot? (before you get offended remember this is the Evil Patriots Blog). Vikings continue their march towards a second round loss in the playoffs.

1972 Dolphins @ 2007 Patriots (-21) - ESPN tried (and failed) to do a simulation of what the game would look like if the 72 Dolphins faced the 07 Patriots. Then they added about 50 pounds to each lineman, modernized their game, and I would swear on my life, still edited the results to make it look closer. Patriots won a close one with a phenomenal game from Brady. In this game, Jason Taylor will look like he's the only one playing on the field for the Dolphins. 50 degrees and partly cloudy in Foxboro on Sunday. Sounds like a recipe for a TD-record-tying performance to me. Final Score: 41-3

Eagles @ Saints (-2.5) - I think the Eagles have played their guts out too much in the last three weeks to be enough of a threat to the Saints, who are coming on at the end. Could be a close game or it could be one of those increasingly rare Brees 34-45 387 4TD days.

Falcons @ Cardinals (-9.5) - That's tough when you're getting 9.5 against the Cardinals. Seriously though, shouldn't PETA be lobbying for some special mascot honor for a Michael Vick dog? Cardinals cover, just barely.

Ravens @ Seahawks (-9.5) - some really high point spreads this week. The Ravens are completely mailing it in, but I think the AFC vs NFC plays a part here and the Seahawks make too many mistakes on offense. They won't cover but the Seahawks might win a close one.

Jets @ Titans (-8.5) - I think the Jets will finish strong after getting an emotional lift from last weekend's game. The Titans did call the Jets the best 3-11 team in the history of the NFL. That has to mean something right? Jets win outright here.

Bucs @ 49ers (+6.5) - Back to reality, the 49ers lose to the Bucs who might make some noise in the playoffs. More so than the Giants anyway. The Patriots' chances of landing the #2 were dashed last week, but they're still hopeful for a top 5 if the 49ers can just get back to doing what they do best and lose the last two games.

Broncos @ Chargers (-8.5) - Chargers continue to march toward the playoffs. It's too early for Norv Turner to completely turn this upside down, so the Broncos go down in spectacular fashion.
I'll be back on Monday with a recap. If you read this blog regularly it means you probably have ADHD, which also means, you'll be out starting your xmas shopping this weekend like me.

Enjoy the weekend and the 40 shots to the booth of Don Shula with a forced smile on his face sitting next to a drunk Nick Buoniconti with his head in his hands.

Peyton, Romo, and Brady Meet God

God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?"
Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe
in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in
giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans."

God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him
a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, "What do you believe?"

Tony says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the
fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always

tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields."

God is greatly moved by Tony's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a
seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: "And you, Tom, what do you believe?"

Tom replies, "I believe you're in my seat."

Coach of the Year

There have been a number of columns the last couple of days that have debated whether our favorite emperor of evil deserves to be considered for Coach of the Year.

Many people have chimed in on it and they fall in one of three categories:

1. Yes, because Spygate happened in the first half of week 1 and it clearly had nothing to do with winning games (others like Dan Reeves said it was all overblown anyway).

2. No, because he was caught cheating and he should be excluded in the same manner that Shawn Merriman was excluded last year because he was caught taking HGH. The precedent is there even if Coach of the Year is an AP award as opposed to Defensive Player of the Year, which is an NFL award.

3. No, because someone like Mike McCarthy is more deserving because he has done more with less. Belichick has a phenomenal team, which is why he wins, but the Packers (or Browns) do it because of great coaching. These people are split down in the middle on whether Belichick would qualify, but it wouldn't change their opinion.

Me? I'm actually in the #2 crowd. He got caught cheating this year, so he gives up any claim to that award. That's not the rule though, since it's an AP Award, but it's much better than the prevailing criteria that you have to have a terrible team the year before to even qualify.

Belichick won his only Coach of the Year Award in 2003. Why 2003? Because the Patriots missed the playoffs the year before. And we were still in that phase of "Patriots beat people with very average talent."

Here's a look at the past 10 coach of the year winners with their team's previous year record and the record they had when they won the award:



So what does this graphic tell us? Other than the Evil Patriots research department is really on top of things? First thing, the biggest anomaly is that there is no Tony "Stupid Flanders" Dungy. We'll get to him later

1. 8 out of 10 teams had losing records the previous year.

• The only 2 coaches with winning records in the previous year (Belichick and Reid) are also considered 2 of the top coaches of this decade (Stupid Flanders at #2 or #3).
  
• Both of these coaches reached the Superbowl the year before they won and the year after they won.
  
• If you want to win this award you only have a 20% chance of winning if your team had a winning record the previous year. And you better have reached the Superbowl that year.
• Both awards given to Reid and Belichick could easily be argued that they were makeups from not getting serious consideration the year before.

2. 3 of 10 coaches won in their first year on the job.

• Fassel (+4), Haslett (+7), and Payton (+7) added a total of 18 additional wins in their first year compared with the previous year.
• Fassel (-2), Haslett (-3), and Payton (-3 currently) subtracted a total of 8 wins in the year following their award.
• First time award winners seem to benefit from the adage "change is good" but it doesn't necessarily translate to the following year.

3. 3 of 10 coaches had the same record or better the year following their award

• Belichick and Reid maintained their winning records across all three seasons, while Lovie Smith went from 5 to 11 to 13 wins in his three years. Of course Smith is currently at 5-9, which means the trend stops there. But it was a good three year run. Of course, Belichick went 14-2 in the second year following his award and Reid went 13-3 in his second year and lost to Belichick's Patriots in the Superbowl.
• Winning the Coach of the Year Award is no indication of future success as only 30% of coaches were able to produce similar or better records the following year.
• Of that 70% that did not build on their award winning years, 5 coaches lost between 2-3 games more the following year, while two (Fassel and Reeves) lost 9 games each.

4. Why hasn't the most beloved coach in the NFL, Tony Dungy, received this award?

• He built the Bucs up from nothing (and a sordid history of nothing), and then went to the Colts and proceeded to have the 2nd most wins from the moment he got there until now (Belichick beats him by 2 wins in that span).
• He is easily the most respected coach in the league and loved by children everywhere.
• The answer? In Tampa Bay, he built the team but it wasn't until the year after he left that they won a superbowl. In Indy, he had Peyton Manning from day 1. Any team with Peyton Manning (and Marvin Harrison) is expected to win 10+ games each year before you factor in coaching.

So what does all this mean?

• It means that spygate or no spygate, Belichick's only chance of winning this year was to go 16-0. 15-1 would immediately rule him out.
• Tony Dungy is rarely discussed this season (again) as a candidate. Yet the "do more with less" mantra would seem to weigh in his favor since Harrison has been out almost all season, Freeney was lost for half of the season, and a number of other starters have gone down as well. Yet here they are on pace for 14-2 and the #2 seed locked up. If he doesn't win it this year, how does he ever get a chance unless he leaves Indy or Manning retires? Of course as soon as I finished that sentence I saw that ESPN.com's Michael Smith just wrote that Dungy and Staff Have Done Best Coaching Job of 2007.
  
• The most talked about candidates are: Mike McCarthy, Romeo Crennel, and Dick Jauron. Mike McCarthy has Brett Favre and a very young team around that. Right, but young doesn't equal bad, just like an old team doesn't equal good. He's a solid candidate because he fits in with the "you sucked so bad last year, that it makes this year look friggin awesome" mantra. Same goes for Romeo who had "hot seat" written all over him at the start of the season. Ditto for Jauron, who's candidacy took a hit losing to Romeo last weekend.

Now for the Evil Patriots Blog solution: Keep the AP Award for "Coach Who Sucked But Now is Good, But Probably Wont Be Next Year" and create an NFL "Top Coach Award" like they do in separating MVP and Offensive/Defensive Player Awards.

NFL Top Coach Award Candidates (ranked)
1. Tony Dungy
2. Anti-Christ
3. that's it. there is no one else.

Typical Sportswriter dialog on the subject -
Reporter 1: Who is the best coach in the NFL?
Reporter 2: Probably Belichick, but you could make a case for Dungy.
Reporter 1: How about their chances for coach of the year?
Reporter 2: No way, they have great teams. You don't need great coaching for those teams to be successful.

AP NFL Coach of the Year Award (ranked) - based solely on the mantra stated above
1. Jack Del Rio
2. Mike McCarthy
3. Romeo Crennel
4. Tony Dungy
5. Dick Jauron

So there you go. Pretty long post to get to the simple point that the Coach of the Year, much like MVP, is a really dumb award with fluctuating criteria left to the interpretation of the most lazy, bandwagon-riding experts out there, the sportswriters.

Evil Disrespectful Tom Brady - Sporting News Sportsman of the Year

Congratulations Tom. Your growing anger of anything not associated with next week's opponent is a warm blanket embracing us all.

From the article (linked in the title):

"He was calm, he was cool," says Bills defensive coordinator Perry Fewell, who faces Brady twice a year and watches him constantly. "He was just, 'Hey, I'm going to go out and do this. It's Brady time.' "

Fewell tells a story of a play in Buffalo's 56-10 loss to New England last month. In preparing for the game, he noticed that no opponent had ever put nine defenders in coverage against Brady. Fewell figured he'd disguise the coverage and give it a try, once, in the hope that covering all the zones would force Brady to run or at least rattle him enough to make a mistake.

"When he saw the nine defenders drop, he was cool as a cucumber," Fewell says. "He didn't panic. He just said, 'Oh, I have time.' He looked around, he moved in the pocket a little bit, and he just waited for somebody to clear. And he hit Randy Moss for like a 40-yard touchdown pass. ... That was classic Brady."

Says CBS analyst Solomon Wilcots, "He ... wins ... games. It's as plain and simple as that. He wins football games."

You don't get that CBS Analyst title without keen commentary like that...

Week 15 Recap

• So it was classy how the Anti-Christ carried himself this week right? Peter King mentioned that in his things he likes this week while scoffing down a Starbucks latte.

• If the conditions were to blame for the dropped balls and bad passes by the Patriots, why weren't the Jets having the same problem? Their problem was just that they suck and have no pass protection. Brady had the protection and still couldn't throw the ball and the receivers still couldn't catch it (which is happening a lot in the last 4 or 5 games). The running game looked pretty good, but it was against one of the worst run defenses in the league. I hope global warming will show up before the playoffs.
  

• Mario Williams must picture a different media hack (probably Mel Kiper Jr) when he goes in for a sack, because they all said it was a disaster to take him over Reggie Bush. Since he had 3.5 sacks against Denver on Thursday, I'm guessing he was imagining Kiper, Mike Ditka, and Gene Wojsdfasdfkaerski
  

• Damn you 49ers. Is there any bigger sign that Marvin Lewis needs to go than losing to the 49ers?

• Nice effort this season Buffalo. Maybe next year. I can't recall who said this, but I'm pretty sure it was Merrill Hoge: "Raise your hand at home if you want to play the Browns in the playoffs? What, no one raising their hands? I didn't think so."

• Well done Ultimate Warrior, another game another record. Keep this up and you might just get the NFC Championship game in Green Bay, which would be HUGE.

• Is it a coincidence that two of the most puzzling disappointments this year (Ravens and Bengals) are also filled with the biggest number of jackasses?

• The Dolphins have the look of a team that just shocked the world by winning the 85 AFC Championship and now have to face the Bears in the Superbowl. Sure seems like Tony Eason is playing QB in Miami these days. I'm pretty sure the words "just happy to be here" would apply here.

• Pittsburgh, we understand what you're going through. It's called the Pete Carroll years. Just ride it out. Tomlin, unlike super jacked and pumped Carroll, will be a good coach in the next couple of years. Might be a good idea to get Ben a weapon though. Hines Ward's best days are gone and Ben is way too good of a passer to be throwing it 15 times per game.

• Tampa Bay is 9-5? Is that the quietest good season anyone is having in the NFL?

• The Seahawks are just good enough to lose a close game in the playoffs to a team that will lose by a lot to the Cowboys or Packers.

• I think if the Colts/Pats matchup happens, people are going to talk about the Patriots being a finesse team and the Colts more smashmouth. But the Colts defense relies on speed a lot more than it does on hard physical play. How is Mathis going to get that great jump off the ball, playing in wintry conditions? I think the offenses play even in that situation because the Patriots would play to stop the run if the conditions are anything like Sunday. Still, the Colts are the 2nd best team in the NFL.

• Same thing will be said about the Cowboys/Packers if they play in Green Bay. Much better chance of the Packers winning, but Marion Barber is a beast and I like him in those conditions. The Cowboys are still a little overrated though.

• Outside of the Colts, the Chargers scare me the most. I'm coming around on the Jaguars, but the Chargers have finally figured out that giving LT the ball is a good strategy for winning. Of course the defense is still suspect and if the Patriots get ahead that means it's Philip Rivers interception time.

• Speaking of the Jaguars, I think they finally have put this whole thing together that would help them challenge the Colts if they meet in the playoffs. Although if they get the #5 seed it looks more likely that they'd be in Foxboro. And I'm fine with that.

Week 15 Picks & Mitchell Report Rant

I think my favorite part of yesterday's "Mitchell Report" release was that Jose Canseco tried to crash the press conference with former Senator Mitchell, but was stopped at the door because he's not a member of the media. It's too bad because I'm sure someone out there would have given him press credentials just to see the unintentional comedy unfold.

My quick take on the report: It's such a small look at the steroid picture, the names were only necessary to provide credibility to the report, and not nearly enough blame went to Bud Selig. In Boston we were chanting "steroids..steroids" at Canseco in the late 80's. Steroids were a topic of conversation with baseball from the minute the NFL had their own problem with it. For Bud Selig to pretend he didn't know anything is just a complete lie, and if it wasn't, then his head was so far in the sand, that it makes him the most incompetent commissioner in the history of the game.

And there is absolutely no way that it's just a coincidence that Pettite signed his new contract this week, Tejada was traded the day before the release, and Gagne signed a contract with the Brewers. Everyone knew for at least a week that the report was being released on Thursday, so why would you go out of your way to finalize deals just prior to it, when these deals typically takes weeks and months to complete. Simple. You wouldn't unless you knew something.

Enough baseball talk until the Red Sox finally land Santana. Ellsbury charges for his autograph, so I'm already onboard with sending him over to the Twins. Besides, we can sign him when he becomes a stud free agent in a few years anyway.

On to the picks (straight up this week):

Bengals @ 49ers - I don't even know how the 49ers will start getting better next season. They don't have any realistic shot in this game as Coach in Suit continues to fail while Coach in Sweats continues to dominate. Meanwhile Coach in Orange will be fired then hired by the Falcons in the offseason. You heard it here first!

Bills @ Browns - This is a good matchup but the Browns have the potential for some big plays down the field and the Bills just don't. I still like the Bills' defense more, but I think they've peaked and won't be able to keep up. Who would have thought Romeo would have his team headed to the playoffs?

Seahawks @ Panthers - The Seahawks are looking like a serious contender in the NFC, and if they played Green Bay in Seattle in the playoffs I might give them a chance to win. But since there is no way that could happen, the Seahawks will have to settle for a moderately successful run for the playoffs. The Panthers continue to suck. Remember when John Fox was one of the best coaches in the NFL? This is why you have the Anti-Christ and Tony "Stupid Flanders" Dungy as the Brady/Manning of coaches and everyone else is just a year away from being on the hot seat.

Falcons @ Bucs - I'd actually love to see the Falcons win this week as a collective "eff you" to Bobby Petrino, the Rick Pitino of the NFL/NCAA. But sadly they are actually that bad.

Packers @ Rams - Upset Special of the week!! This is all assuming Bulger gets the nod, gets a fresh optimistic attitude and comes out firing. The game is on the turf which helps the Rams a bit. It also helps Rams' defenders get under the Favre "why the hell is he throwing it" passes more. Look for 3 INT's for Favre. I don't really believe anything I just wrote, but it sounds plausible enough to root for.

Jaguars @ Steelers - This is the non-revenge game of the week. I honestly don't know how to judge either of these teams at this point (though I have a pretty good idea about the Steelers). I think at home the Steelers will handle the Jaguars. Fred Taylor is way overdue for his annual hamstring injury so look for that in this game.

Cardinals @ Saints - In the Catholic Church Power Rankings, Saints clearly outrank Cardinals, so I'm going with the Saints.

Jets @ Patriots - I'm not even kidding, this will be a close game. The weather will absolutely be a factor, mostly because of the wind and slippery field. If you jam Moss at the line just a bit under these conditions his route is completely screwed up. Looks for lots of Maroney and the dink and dunk that you saw in the 2nd half of the Pittsburgh game. I'm thinking 24-10 (relatively speaking, that is a close game). The Jets TD will almost certainly come on a fumble by Stallworth or Moss that will be returned for a touchdown. No way Kellen Clemens leads a scoring drive for anything other than 1 field goal.

Ravens @ Dolphins - I just don't see how Miami can score this game unless it's on defense. I'm thinking 6-0 would be an appropriate score here.

Titans @ Chiefs - Will Jeff Fisher order a hit on Anthony Gonzalez? Titans win the battle of the afterthought teams.

Colts @ Raiders - I'm guessing the Colts get 21 in the 1st quarter and then rest their starters the rest of the way. Look for Jim Sorgi to have an outstanding game.

Eagles @ Cowboys - Ok Eagles, THIS game is your superbowl. Can you get it done? Don't you feel after the effort you put in against the Patriots that you should be able to compete with the team that got blown out by the Patriots? Can't Andy Reid order a hit on Terell Owens? The answer to these questions is no, so the Eagles lose.

Lions @ Chargers - I hate both of these teams but God's Team has already lost their chance to win 10 games as Kitna predicted, so what are they playing for? The Chargers need to keep pushing and find ways to win despite Norv Turner on the sidelines.

Giants @ Redskins - Todd Collins is at QB again for the Redskins. That means the Giants have the edge at QB for the first time this season. I didn't see Strahan on Best Damn Sports Show this week, so I assume he's focused (on the game or how to kill his ex-wife we can't be sure).

Bears @ Vikings - Vikings win. Looks like another Monday night where I don't feel compelled to watch football. Good news! The debut of Clash of the Choirs, the new hit show where music "superstars" go to their hometowns to form choirs to compete against each other is finally on tv after months of excruciating promos. Who will win? Nick Lachey? Michael Bolton? Tune in! By the way, does anyone else see Michael Bolton on TV anymore and not hear the following exchange from Office Space in their head?

Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until that no-talent ass clown became
famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

Enjoy RevengeBowl. Nice to have the Patriots back on at 1pm in the afternoon.

Dumbass Jets Fan of the Week

Congratulations to "The Garv", you are the...



Watch The Garv in all his dumbass glory in this video below.

Jets Taping the Patriots

“We taped the game, is what we taped, and we taped end-zone copy of the game, and we tape a double end zone, which is standard operating procedure for us,” Mangini said Wednesday. “We request that every single road game, and it’s usually granted if physically it’s possible. And when people request it from us, we do the same thing: We grant it.”

-Eric the Rat

Now, maybe we'll see this more tomorrow, but why is this quote being taken at face value? Why is it that the guy who learned EVERYTHING about coaching from the Anti-Christ, including taping defensive signals, has gone on to a divisional rival and not used the same tactic as his former boss? You could barely even call it an assumption. Everything about Mangini is an emulation of Belichick.

What I really read from this quote is that everyone tapes from the stands and no one asks the difficult questions like "can i see your tape first?" because every team wants to be able to do the same thing. Whether you think taping defensive signals is cheating or not, is separate from the question about whether everyone is operating on the same level playing field.

It would be a big leap to say absolutely every coach does it (or did it until week 2 this year), and god forbid anyone question whether St. Dungy has ever done it, but to say that it doesn't happen and the Patriots are the lone gunmen in this thing is now proven to be insane.

Does Mangini still tape games every week this season? And if you're an opposing team, why would you give the former foot solider of Bill Belichick permission to tape from your stands after his mentor was caught cheating? How many other teams are taping their teams from the endzone?

And how necessary is this for chrissakes? Coordinators are handed faxed photos of the plays from 2 minutes ago on a regular basis throughout the game. There is plenty of game tape to draw from. And what kind of angle are you getting from sitting in the endzone to film your team? Is it a Sony Handycam or an IMAX super-enhanced movie camera?

The whole thing gets more and more ridiculous. Have we reached a peak yet where we can start scaling back the need for technology to analyze the game? They have 10 coaches on each sideline? Can't they watch the game and make notes and compare them to the actual official game tape they each get?

In the end, the Patriots are still evil, hated, and utterly classless to the rest of the NFL. Which is still great. We get to be vilified and vindicated at the same time. What more could you ask for?

Thoughts on Week 14

Now that MNF is over, ESPN can stop talking Michael Vick since it doesn't help sell a boring, meaningless game between the Falcons and Saints. By the way is there any doubt that in 2010 we'll be talking about what great field position Tom Brady consistently gets to start drives because of the amazing kick-off returns of the #3 wide receiver, Mike Vick?

On to the recap...

• The Ultimate Warrior, crowned in a camouflage ski hat (he's just so down to earth), started in his 250th career start. Shouldn't there be a sliding scale in football for ironman streaks? If a linebacker starts in 30 consecutive games, shouldn't that be equivalent? Isn't there some Aikman formula for this?

• Dallas barely comes back against the massively overrated Lions who were on a 5 game losing streak and suddenly Romo is a serious MVP candidate and the Cowboys are as good, if not better, than the Patriots. Jason Whitten is the "constantly overlooked when you talk about (insert position)" of the week. I've been hearing his name since Week 1. I'm not even sure which TE I've heard more about than him.

• Is L.T. still the most likable guy in the NFL or has the tarnish come off yet? I don't think Philip Rivers like-likes him as much as he used to.

• The Giants barely slipped past the Eagles 16-13. I'm pretty sure the Jets are going to be a much tougher challenge than the Giants in Week 17 with Eli resting for the playoffs. Wait...actually maybe it will be a bigger challenge with him not playing.

• Do you think Darren McFadden thanks his personal lord and savior Jesus Christ every time he turns on the TV and sees Patriots highlights followed by 49ers highlights?

• The Colts look good. I'm trying to figure out who stops them before they visit Foxboro in January and I can't imagine anyone coming close. Get your rest Dwight Freeney, training camp is only 8 months away.

• The Jets put up a good effort against the Browns. What an awful time to be a Jets/Yanks/Knicks fan. Ugh. I'd feel bad for them if I didn't love seeing them suffer so much. By the way, this game can't get here fast enough. The Annual x-mas party at my parents house is this Sunday and the battle for a prime couch seat in front of my dad's new plasma will be a fight to the death among my brothers, my father, my uncles, and oddly enough, my 85 year old grandmother, who will show no mercy. Who ultimately wins here? My niece Madison, who I'll be paying to grab me a plate of food from the kitchen because I don't dare get up for any reason until half time.

• Shawn Merriman says Jeff Fisher ordered a hit on him. Since this is Shawn Merriman, I don't think we'll be getting a lot of "classless Jeff Fisher" stories this week. By the way, that lights out dance has to be the lamest "look at me i tackled someone" dance I've ever seen. That little fake at the end as if he wont give you one more fist pump is just terrible. My shrink tells me this is a phallic symbol gesture demonstrating latent homosexuality being unleashed by the unconscious mind as a cry for help and acceptance.
  

• Ron Jaworski compared Reggie Bush's future potential to that of 3rd down back Kevin Faulk. Speaking of USC stars turned busts, where is Matt Leinart? Pete Carroll's NFL suckability even translates to his players. such a shame really.

• If you're offended by the guy (or girl?) who hired the small airplane that circled Gillette Stadium with the "Bonds 756* Patriots 3 Superbowl Wins*" sign, as one of my friends is, you are missing the point of what has made this season so enjoyable. It's been great theater for all 14 games so far, and if you can take pleasure in the evil and classlessity of the black-hearted Patriots, then you have to admire the creativity of someone who would pay for a plane to give a collective "eff you" to Patriots fans, players, officials, etc. I loved it.

• L.A. Times' Bill Plaschke has jumped out to an almost insurmountable lead in the election for president of "The Patriots Suck Club for Men". On Around the Horn Monday, he went off on how classless the evil disrespectful Tom Brady was for jawing with Anthony Smith and how he's lost more and more respect for Brady each week as he acts with less and less class. The King of the One-Sentence Paragraph, Plaschke does what most of these new media hacks do - run with their own sense of self-righteous anger no matter how ridiculous they sound or how narrow their perspective gets when they try to justify their increasingly inane reasoning.

• Speaking of Around the Horn, Woody Paige likes the Jets to beat the Patriots on Sunday. It probably happened early on, but I'd like to go back and pinpoint the date when that show became a parody of itself. If they'd just put Bob Ryan back on to replace Kevin Blackistone, it would be like watching a sports version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Plaschke would be Nurse Ratchet.

• The Football Night in America crew of Chris Collinsworth, Bob Costas, Jerome Bettis, and Keith Olbermann is just friggin awful. Bob Costas decided sometime before the season began that he was funny and should make little quips every 30 seconds, and since he's the football version of Barbara Walters, the others just have to laugh so they don't get fired. Keith Olbermann has been pretending to be the left-wing version of Dennis Miller for a long time now and Jerome Bettis is a conversation killer. Side note: My spell check recommended "Lieberman" as a suggestion for "Olbermann." Shocking.
  

• The Colts are the team version of Jason Whitten. "It's funny how they've become the forgotten team," writes Peter King in his MMQB column. Who is forgetting about them? Who is overlooking anyone? If you're good, then you're good. What compelling storyline should you be writing about them right now? I'm pretty sure I heard "they're holding up well without Marvin Harrison" about 100 times in the last 8 weeks since he last played a game. I saw two big features on Reggie Wayne becoming the catalyst for that offense in the past week. Is there anything more frustrating than someone in the media mentioning a team to point out that no one is mentioning them? You're in the media for chrissakes. If you feel they need more press, write something about them that goes beyond a bullet point.
  

• If it weren't for the Patriots this would be shaping up to be the dullest season in recent memory. Don't you love the phrase "recent memory?" It's the new catch-phrase for people who are too lazy to try to remember or look something up, or for former NFL players who don't know what they're talking about. So let's face it, if it weren't for the Evil Patriots, we'd be talking about the Dolphins quest for Sucktality, the Ultimate Warrior (even more so), and the glorious return of the Dallas Cowboys to the NFL royalty. So in the end, thank you Eric Mangini, Tony Dungy, Donovan McNabb, Anthony Smith, Wade Philips, Terrell Owens, Ray Lewis, and anyone else I might be forgetting for motivating an already motivated team to not just play better, but angrier and more ruthless as well.
  

Shady Brady & Belicheat

This is more of a song than a video, since nothing moves, but it's pretty funny and well written. You almost wonder if the people who make these songs hate the Evil Patriots or like them.

Quick Thoughts after the Game

It took until the 3rd quarter, but finally everyone who roots for the Patriots breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't just that the offense adjusted and finally figured out that short screen passes were much more effective at disrupting the blitz schemes than 15+ yard passes on every down. And it helped that they actually sustained long drives that allowed the defense to catch its breath.

But more importantly, the defense adjusted in the 2nd half and shut down willie parker AND got pressure on Big Ben consistently. Overall great effort on both sides of the ball in this one, which is what we really needed to see, especially against a quality opponent.

Evil Disrespectful Tom Brady set the tone early, jawing with Anthony Smith et al, and then following it up by burning him on 3 TD passes that made him look bad.

After a week of "the Patriots are beatable" and "the Patriots are vulnerable" we get back to reality and everyone can start throwing out even more over the top hyperbole with the Jets coming to town.

One more note. as I write this, Peyton Manning just threw up a bomb for a TD in the 3rd quarter after they were already up 37-3. Good thing they don't run up the score though.

Week 14 Picks

Miami
Buffalo (-6.5) - I guess you have to take Buffalo here but I think it will be a close one and I think Buffalo is no longer fighting for a playoff spot, so an upset could be in the works. That said, Buffalo still wins. The Dolphins are just that terrible and the Bills will cover.

St. Louis at
Cincinnati (-6.5) - any other time and I would say 48-45 Rams, but this edition of the Rams isn't what we're used to and they won't be able to keep up with a receiving corps that NFL guru Anthony Smith calls better than New England.

Dallas at
Detroit (+10.5) - I've grown to hate Jon Kitna since he has become this outspoken jackass this season. So I'll go back to my roots and pull for the Cowboys (i was a 'boys fan growing up because my mother arbitrarily decided to decorate my room with cowboys-themed curtains and bedspreads). Detroit has no shot in hell and they won't get any where near 10.5.

Oakland
Green Bay (-10.5) - How can SI.com's Sportsman of the Year not play and prevail? Oakland is typical Oakland and the Favrerettes should be able to hold them to about 6 points total.

Tampa Bay
Houston (+2.5) - let's say Houston pulls an upset for the hell of it in this week's 'whogivesadamn bowl"

Carolina
Jacksonville (-10.5) - Rebound week for the Jaguars who sent a memo to the rest of the AFC that they will not be a factor in the playoffs with that awful performance last week against the Colts. But the Panthers sent that same memo three weeks into the season so the Jags win...but they don't cover.

Pittsburgh at
New England (-12.5) - It's hard to gauge how good the Steelers are this year, which I think is a notch well below their unlikely '05 superbowl team. I think Willie Parker is a whole level below Brian Westbrook and Willis McGahee so I'm not really that worried. It projects to be 33 degrees with little wind, so I'm expecting a fast start from the Patriots and a dominant route. I'm not even kidding. If they get up 14 early, all of the clock-killing and physical play advantages that people think the Steelers have with be negated and they'll be forced to have Big Ben throw it 35 times, which is not a good thing. Patriots win 38-17

N.Y. Giants at
Philadelphia (-2.5) - Despite Eli, the Giants will take this one no matter who starts at QB for the Eagles. I don't see Westbrook dominating the Giants run defense enough to make the difference he'd have to make on his own.

San Diego at
Tennessee (+1.0) - San Diego wins this one, which should be the third game of your 3-team parlay with Green Bay and Dallas. This is not a big enough game for Norv to screw it up.


Minnesota at
San Francisco (+7.5) - I look forward to the McFadden/Maroney backfield next season. Of course they'll probably trade down since picking a running back in the top 5 is usually a big waste of a draft pick, but who knows. The LB/CB depth in the draft doesn't look all that promising so you never know. My point is the 49ers lose big and the Patriots continue to look at their draft options.


Arizona at
Seattle (-6.5) - The most intriguing matchup of the week for me because I know nothing about either of them except that one is very overrated and one used to have Shaun Alexander. So let's say Arizona covers but loses.


Kansas City at
Denver (-6.5) - Rivalry Week! KC continues to suck and Denver merely underachieves, so Denver covers, just barely.


Cleveland at
N.Y. Jets (+3.5) - 3.5? That three-team parlay just jumped to 4. No way do the Jets come within 10 points in this game. This is my lock of the week. There is no chance the Jets are even aware that they're playing the Browns this week because they're terrified of what's coming next week.

Indianapolis at
Baltimore (+9.5) - Look for this quote from a Ravens defensive player after the game: "The Colts are much better than the Patriots. They didn't need the refs to help them." Colts win.


New Orleans at
Atlanta (+4.5) - If it comes down to rushing, then the Falcons might pull off the upset (seriously is there a bigger bust in the NFL than Reggie Bush?). But of course Drew Brees could remember he's Drew Brees and bust this open, which is what I'm thinking will happen.


Enjoy Week 14 everyone (though shouldn't it be week 13 since it's the 13th game on everyone's schedule?).

If you're going to the Patriots game on Sunday, for the love of god, makes some friggin noise.

Cooking With Bill

This is a clip from when the Anti-Christ was with the Browns. My favorite part about this is that he actually has a well thought out strategy on why he puts peanut butter on each slice of bread.

Cover of the special sports section of today's Pittsburgh Tribune-Review

Evil Patriots Week 13

Did I miss the memo where calling a player "boy" was a horrible crime for an official to do? When did "boy" become a racially-charged moniker? Weren't we all called boy at some point? And does anyone in their right mind think an emotionally charged player who thinks he's wronged at every turn, just politely tells an official that they never played the game without throwing profanities in at every other word? Come on people, I'm all for conflict in sports, but this is ridiculous.

Which brings up another point about conflict. During the Monday Night Game, the getting-more-awful-by-the-week MNF crew focused on the Gaffney TD at the end of the game like it was the Zapruder film. No one in their right mind could have looked at that and questioned it without making up their own new interpretation about what possession of the ball means. But they tried desperately to make a case for it to be a different call because that is conflict, and conflict is what entertainment is all about.

This seems to happen a lot more than it used to in football, where the booth guys try to make something, anything, out of a play that is called correctly. They immediately without thinking or seeing the reply, question whether the right call was made. When did all football analysts become Tommy Heinsohn? It's obnoxious to watch. And it goes for when the Patriots get the calls and when they don't get the calls. I'm just tired of seeing them drum up conflict in a game that is already filled with it naturally playing out.

By the way, ESPN added Marcus Wiley, former DE of several teams to its NFL Live crew starting today. I listened to him on the Mike & Mike show this morning and can tell he's going to be a massive upgrade over every former NFL player they've brought in in the last few years (Keyshawn and Emmitt being the worst). He's well-spoken, succinct and gives you good insight without sounding like he's learning to speak for the first time ever.

.....

On to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Here is my "never played the game before boy" opinion. I think Troy Brown is activated this week and the 2001 dink n' dunk game is brought out in full force, keeping the Steelers away from too many 4-man rush and exotic blitz packages. It means you'll see less Stallworth and more Watson/Kyle Brady, which should be a good thing. Hopefully the coaching staff will get back to being creative to counter this.

I don't see the Steelers offense matching the level of intensity of the Ravens offense from Monday night. I also think that Roethlisberger is great as long as he doesn't have to throw the ball more than 15-20 times, so hopefully they'll move to the 4-3 more in this game to stop the run and force the pass.

The Patriots' greatest strength in the games they've dominated have been putting up points early and forcing the opponent into catch-up mode. That will be key here as well. I think the coaching has to get better because I think they're maxing out on the physical effort from both sides of the ball.

One last key to this game: For chrissakes Patriots fans lucky enough to be at the game, make some friggin noise! You have one of the worst reputations in the league for generating a home-field advantage via crowd noise, and the excuses about how the stadium is designed just don't add up anymore. I can't recall the last time an opponent had to account for the crowd noise, but this would be a good week to start.

Whining Ravens

As frustrating as the first 55 minutes of that game was last night, the last 5 minutes made up for it tenfold. I have no problem with the Patriots losing and not going undefeated, partially because I think that defense needs a rest in the worst way the last two weeks of the season, but also because I don't think it diminishes the greatness of the team, assuming they win the superbowl.

But, to lose to the Ravens, the biggest collection of jackasses in the league (at least on defense), who trash talk and pose after every play, would have been too much. McGahee had a great game, but come on, you're 4-7, why should you pose after every 5 yard gain?

So to win that one, especially the way it was won, was just fantastic.

The fix is in!!! Just like the tuck rule!! There was no timeout!!

Seriously, this was as satisfying a win as I've seen all year. To come out with a last minute TD drive, complete with the opposing team screwing themselves, was just great to watch.

Here are some great quotes from the Hashmarks blog on ESPN.com.

"They just took the crown," cornerback Chris McAlister said of the officials, "and put in on [the Patriots'] heads."

Week 13 Picks

On to the picks for another weekend of waiting for everyone to play before the Patriots.

Sunday Dec 3rd

49ers @ Panthers - Panthers, for no reason other than I want to see the Patriots get a top 3 draft pick. This one is a tossup to me though, but I'll stick with the Panthers

Jaguars @ Colts - the sexy pick here is the Jags, but I think reality sets in and the Colts come away with a win. The Jags always play them tough, but in the end Manning will have just enough to beat them.

Chargers @ Chiefs - Some tough games this week to pick. With Norv being Norv you never know what's going to happen. Chargers should win easily, but you could have said that about most of their losses this season. If LT rushes for 125+ they'll win, which I think he will.

Jets @ Dolphins - wow. just wow. why couldnt this have been on the NFL Network? I'm going to say the Dolphins get their first win of the season here. The Jets are that bad and if I wish for this hard enough it just might come true.

Lions @ Vikings - Stick a fork in the Lions, their magical ride is over.

Bucs @ Saints - Saints offense is finally playing like it should and I'm not sold on the Bucs defense stopping them like they stopped the Skins.

Seahawks @ Eagles - Time to come back to earth Eagles. You had your superbowl last week, now you'll play like its your pro bowl this week. Not that I like the Seahawks, but just a bit more than the Eagles this week.

Falcons @ Rams - This is the NFC version of the Dolphins/Jets game. You don't care any more than I do about this team and their level of mediocrity so close that it's not worth betting on.

Texans @ Titans - Remember when the Titans were good....i mean Lions good? Texans roll over them this week.

Bills @ Redskins - The "Let's do it for Sean" factor is tough here. If the Bills defense could remember that they're supposed to be able to form a pass rush I'd say they win, but the emotional of the home crowd and fired up Skins players should make this an easy one.

Browns @ Cardinals - Coach of the Year Romeo Crennel continues his campaign against the not quite as good as you think Cardinals. Way to go Romeo, even though no one has pointed out exactly what you've done to make this team better other than getting bad starters hurt and replacing them with surprisingly good ones.

Broncos @ Raiders - There are a lot of bad games this weekend. Broncos take this one because they can rush the ball and the Raiders can't stop anyone on the ground. That said it will be close because they both suck.

Giants @ Bears - Giants don't kick to Hester this week, so they win since that's the only way the Bears can score points.

Bengals @ Steelers - I don't understand why the Steelers have so many critics. They aren't the Patriots, but they're certainly the Jaguars or Colts. And the Bengals are the Bengals.

Army of Darkness vs Ravens - So they were going to win by 21 points at least before today. But now you have them playing on MNF after Ron Jaworski made a big deal out of Moss taking a couple of plays off, then you had Tom Brady firing back angrily today. 64-6

Have a great weekend everyone. I'll be posting from tropical Madison Wisconsin after the Monday Night Game. Fortunately for them, they didn't get the Packers game on TV last night either.

Random Cranky Old Man Type Thoughts

Ok, back in the groove after a few days of minor updates due to the inconsiderate interruptions of real life.

And now some random thoughts...the refuge of the columnist/blogger with no new ideas that could be fleshed out into a longer column:

• Jason Whitlock writes in this column about the media speculation around Sean Taylor and inclusion of his sordid past in writing about his death. If you read Whitlock, you know where this is going, which is why I read him. He tells the truth as he sees it from an objective perspective of someone with credibility. It's very refreshing when he does this. It's a great read because, although I disagree with the comparison of a "black KKK" to the actual "white KKK", he does not roll his opinion up into a "black man is always the victim" mentality that makes others (hello Scoop Jackson) unreadable. Along with Jason Whitlock, ESPN.com's Jemele Hill is a great writer with fresh perspective. And it has everything to do with them cutting through the hyperbole to give real perspective, and not some rabble-rousing attempt at solidarity with their culture above all else. And that ends my serious note for the day.

• I'm very happy to have Troy Brown back. Since Randy Moss looks like he might sit down on the field the next time Wes Welker gets more than 5 passes in a game, it will be good to have Troy also running in the slot to put pressure on the front seven not to blitz or try to keep Moss jammed at the line of scrimmage. But I think he'll end up playing defensive back on more snaps than wide receiver. But this is it, the swan song for the Troy Brown era and I've loved every minute of it.

• The Patriots are going to do some kind of Drew Bledsoe day right? Is it too soon? Are they worried he might come out of retirement and pull a Testaverde after they do it?

• If it's Thursday, it must be time for the media to scoff at all the points made earlier in the week. Today we have "no one created a blueprint" as the main scoffing point. Mostly it's the color guys and radio guys doing this though because everyone else is focused on the exciting Ultimate Warrior vs Ultimate Warrior Junior matchup tonight on a station I don't get.

• Speaking of the NFL network, I got almost daily emails over the summer from the NFL asking me to call my cable company to complain about not getting the NFL network standard. Are you kidding me? I hate the cable company as much as every one else, but for a league that is a financial juggernaut to ask me to complain because a network that just shows Eisen, Mariucci, and Sanders repeating shows over and over for 6 months out of the year, with a couple of games sprinkled in, is crying that they won't accept their outrageously expensive fees, is just insane.

• It's nice to see all of the national media members that have written columns about how injury depleted the Patriots are. Oh wait, I forgot that's just the Colts. No one is mentioning it because they keep winning. Morris, Maroney, Seymour, Colvin, Green, Watson, Wilson, and more I'm sure I'm forgetting have missed significant time this year. Hopefully Reuben Frank will take up the standard and write a column about this for SI.com. By the way, Reuben Frank. Sounds like something you'd order from the Sausage Guy outside Fenway.

• Dale, where is my gambling column? Everybody is waiting.

• I am sick of the Patriots on prime time. Speaking of MNF, Mike Tirico is one of the most boring people alive (and that new radio show for espn.com is nap inducing). Couldn't they replace him with Michael Wilbon, who already has a great rapport with Jaws and Kornheiser, has a more interesting range in his voice, and is opinionated enough to be interesting but not so much that he'll scare off ESPN Mouse executives?

• Two people I hate more and more every time I see and hear them: Sports Center's Neil Everett who is the Bania to Dan Patrick's Seinfeld, is the most obnoxious person to get highlights from. His schtick is old, boring, and way too forced. Stuart Scott is what Michael irvin would be if he had taken qualudes. Time to retire the boo-yeah Stuart.

• If Mike Reiss doesn't get hired by the Patriots scouting department in the next couple of years, I hope he jumps to ESPN to do Scouts Inc stuff. Because he's great and Scouts Inc is just not. You expect to read Scouts Inc. analysis and be dazzled with insight and accuracy, but they're just not. They just throw some stats in that they hadn't seen printed elsewhere, along with a lot of them that had, and say the same things everyone else says. You learn something new from Mike Reiss every single day. The Boston Herald doesn't have an equivalent to him, and neither does ESPN (Matt Mosley's Hashmarks is terrible). I hope he stays doing what he's doing now, but he should have a lot of opportunities (not for television though, he's got a bill simmons-like voice that doesn't translate).

• On an unrelated topic, this has been a terrible year for television, but the show "Life" is one of the best shows I've seen in years. So of course they never market it and put it on at 10pm on Wednesdays. But next week they have it on after Heroes on Monday which should hopefully help get it an audience. By the way, I hate cop shows of all kinds, but this one is fantastic and actually original. Heroes has been marginal, Bionic Woman is Alias if Jennifer Garner was the mother from Gilmore Girls, and reality tv jumped the shark way too long ago. The best television at this point is the Sunrise Earth show on Discovery Channel in the mornings where they just set a camera down somewhere in the world and let it film for two hours.

• Best Case Scenario involving Johan Santana: 1. he goes to the NL, 2. the Red Sox trade for him even giving up Jacoby, and 3. he stays where he is and signs an extension. If it comes down to the Red Sox getting him but have to give up Ellsbury and Bucholtz, it's still better than him going to the Yankees and forcing Drew, Ortiz, Ellsbury, and Varitek having to go lefty vs lefty against him 5-6 times per year and in the playoffs. I love watching Ellsbury and Bucholtz will be a solid #2 in a couple of years, but we're talking about the best left hander in the game potentially going to new york, or joining Becket and Daisuke as the big three which would destroy everyone in the playoffs. Remember that there is no one else even remotely close to Santana available.

• Unless it's a storied QB, is there any worse cliche'd non-story than a player returning to face his old team in the NFL? Adalius Thomas was good, but he was on an 11-man defense with more than a couple of people who were better than him and will be in the hall of fame. It's not quite the same as Johnny Damon returning to Fenway or K.G. facing the Timberwolves. He won't even be able to tell if they're cheering or booing him. I think the only non-QB's that warrant such a topic would be T.O. playing in Philly or Moss playing in Oakland.
  

• Since Ron Jaworski said that Randy Moss took some plays off on Monday night, you can be sure that every media person will be focused completely on him and have their columns already half-written. Every receiver takes a play off here and there. Running down the field as Moss did on 71 or 73 snaps and only getting the ball thrown to him 10-12 times will make you do that once in a while.

• I don't think the Ravens will score more than 10 points on Monday night, but if they do, we are in for some scary playoff games because the old men in the middle look tired. I haven't heard Mike Vrabel's name much the last two games either. It's not difficult for a 34+ year old to start strong, but to finish strong is very tough (just go back to the AFC Championship last year). If there is a blueprint to take from the Eagles game it's that spreading your offense out to force the old men into coverage will wear them down over the course of the game.
  

• One other thing on Mike Reiss. Do you think the rest of the local writers hate him a little more each time he posts a blog entry with quotes that would make a column by them obsolete for the following day? Instead they have to go with great topics like "Maroney Biding his Time."
  

• The marathon Sports Guy chat yesterday was disappointing. He's lost his fastball in the last few months. He won't take on Gregg Easterbrook for some reason (though he's taken on other page 2 people there in the past). He won't say anything even remotely controversial anymore and he doesn't do ramblings which were always his best columns. Now he just references reality shows only teenage girls watch, and talks about being a father, which for the 18-35 crowd is boring as hell. So when he said yesterday that if people read his old Digital City columns, they'd think they weren't as good as they remembered, he is wrong, because you can compare them to the stuff he writes now, and it's not even close. Very sad. I think he could start his own site and make at least the same money he makes now. It's not like we care about the sport/celebrity access he gets, so why not take the shackles off and write whatever you like? You have a built-in national audience now that would make your site huge. You could also bring in other columnists that are either outspoken or just plain good and create an alternative to ESPN.com, SI.com, MSNBC.com, Sportingnews.com, and CBSportsline.com that wouldn't have to worry about offending people from the network.

• I'm realizing now that I sound like a cranky old man in this post so I'll stop now.

Picks tomorrow, my friend Dale blows off doing a gambling column to keep his all-time streak alive, and some thoughts on the Cowboys/Packers game that I won't be able to watch.

Public Service Announcement for Massachusetts residents: Remember to go home and spank your kids now while it's still legal to do so. Reasoning with your children will make them appreciate you more and certainly won't lead to them walking all over you as teenagers. I actually heard someone on a radio show call in and say that they never spanked their kids, but their 13 or 14 year old threatens to call DSS every time they try to ground him or prevent him from going out to hang with his friends.

The wussification of the world continues. Massachusetts could upstage California soon. How will San Francisco respond? Outlaw the word "no" for use with children?

Blueprint marks early candidacy into dumbass sports cliche hall of fame. Looks to be inducted alongside Trap Game

Every story this week involving the Patriots or Eagles includes the word "blueprint", as in the Eagles created a blueprint on how to stop the Patriots.

What does the blueprint consist of?

1. Pressure Tom Brady with exotic blitzes
2. Be physical with Randy Moss at the line of scrimmage
3. Throw the ball in the middle

Some pretty innovative stuff right there. Since week 1 of 2003 the blueprint has included pressuring Tom Brady with exotic blitzes as the best way to rattle him. Of course that's an NFL-wide blueprint. The problem is, he's prepared for those blitzes most weeks. The Eagles were one of the poorest blitzing teams in the league before that game and more importantly got a good pass rush from their interior linemen. That's not exactly a blueprint, it's just football.

Every commentator this year has listed "jam Moss at the sideline" as a key to slowing down on the offense, but no one was doing it. They did it some extent this past week, but it wasn't exactly the Patriots 2003 smackdown of Marvin Harrison in the AFC Championship. This isn't exactly a new concept that the Eagles drew up. It's just that no one else has been that effective at jamming him.

Throw the ball in the middle. Remember the Colts game? Lots of dink and dunk throws over the middle that got a lot more yardage than they would have a couple of years ago. That's what having aging linebackers will do to you (and sitting Adalius Thomas most of the game of course).
The Eagles didn't provide the "blueprint" for beating the Patriots. There was never a question about how you beat them. It was a question of which team can have all 53 players put in their best effort of the season. Other than the two ridiculous interceptions that reminded us all that this was indeed AJ Feeley and not Peyton Manning behind center, he had played the kind of game that 8 out of 10 QB's don't have all season. You can't pretty much count on him to rebound this week with a 62.5 QB rating to fall back to earth.

So the "blueprint" is this week's bandwagon storyline. Is it me or has the internet made columnists way too lazy in coming up with material. It's not that I have a problem with questioning whether the blueprint exists and works, it's that they don't seem to question it as if the NFL just had a "eureka" moment this week and now the Patriots will go on to lose 2-3 games. And you can be sure the Ultimate Warrior will be able to beat them because he's the MVP and has a physical defense. You can also bank on it that the Steelers will win because they too have a physical defense (it's pretty nice when your nose tackle can run at the same speed as their wide receivers) and Big Ben has once again been crowned an Elite Quarterback. Welcome to that exclusive club, which has grown from last year's 2 (brady/manning) to 5 (Brady, Manning, Favre, Romo, Roethlisberger, and until recently Derek Anderson, Donovan McNabb, and Jon Kitna...who have all been called elite at some point this season).

By the way, here is a good stat from Cold Hard Football Facts about the opponents front seven facing the Patriots this season. Not good news.

. . . . .

Using our Defensive Hog Index rankings heading into Week 12, here’s how New England’s opponents have played up front.

• Buffalo (twice): No. 32
• Miami: No. 31
• Cleveland: No. 29
• New York Jets: No. 28
• Cincinnati: No. 26 (tie)
• San Diego: No. 24
• Indianapolis: No. 22 (tie)
• Washington: No. 19 (tie)
• Dallas: No. 5.

. . . . .

Eagles were #10, while the Ravens are #1, Steelers are #8, and Giants are #6.

Scared yet? No, me neither. Just remember all of the #1's attached to the Patriots offense.

Patriots win 31-28 Post-Game Thoughts Before I forget them

• That was a hell of a football game. Frustrating for a Patriots fan looking for more punishment inflicted on an inferior opponent, but it was still great.
  

• The Patriots were completely out-coached tonight and I can't remember the last time I thought that, though it was probably both Colts games last season. That was a hell of a game plan by Jim Johnson. Did anyone else think back to the Patriots DVD from 2001 where Belichick is on the sidelines yelling at the defense, "In-cuts! Slants and in-cuts! That's the game. That's the game." And then they went out and took away the slants and in-cuts. Tonight, they didn't.
  

• Does Tedy Bruschi still play for the Patriots?

• Thank God for Wes Welker. Lots of dropped balls tonight, none by Welker.

• Is it me or did Al Michaels and John Madden just keep repeating the same 4 points over and over again? 1.) Madden: do you get the feeling the eagles came in with a chip on their shoulder? 2.) Junior Seau is a heck of a football player isn't he? 3.) Al: If nothing else, the Eagles have to feel pretty good that they're hanging with the Patriots 4.) Madden: Look, no huddle 4 receiver set out of the shotgun, they're going into it again. No kidding John. Madden had the one good early point about the Patriots being vulnerable to in-cuts. And that's all he had all night.

• If I'm an Eagles fan, I think I would have been annoyed every time Al Michaels gave the "moral victory" spiel with 7 minutes, then 5 minutes left in the game. They were down by a field goal and were carving up the Patriots secondary to that point. It was only when they foolishly went to the outside that they turned the ball over.

• On a positive note, I'm glad Andrea Kramer is having less and less time to report on nothing during the games. Nothing worse than going to a sideline reporter for an injury note that could just be ready by Madden so he can increase his contributions to the game by 20% with a 5th topic.

• Get ready for Patriots backlash this week. The overboard "greatest team ever" and "they're going to score 50 on everyone" talk will now be replaced by "they're overrated" and stories about how the Steelers, Ravens, and Giants can now beat them because they were given a blueprint by the Eagles. Of course the blueprint the Eagles drew up was taken largely from the Colts blueprint, but since we're in an era of media laziness, they won't mention that.

• Would it kill the Gillette Stadium crowd to make some noise to at least pretend there is a home field advantage along the lines of the Colts, Chiefs, etc?
  

More on Week 12 and the Patriots on Monday. I was frustrated the whole game, but in the end it was an exposure of the aging Pats linebackers, injured secondary (Randall Gay drives me crazy), and the game of his life from A.J. Feeley that did in the Patriots. Brady was good, a more typical 2003-2006 Tom Brady performance.

Congratulations AFC East Champion New England Patriots

well it took until November 24th, but the Patriots finally clinched the AFC East. This is the rare year where you could actually go buy a hat and t-shirt and have it not be obsolete for a while.

Eli Manning. You are awful.

It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving

Week 12 Picks - Thanksgiving Edition

Thursday

Packers @ Lions - Does anyone get nervous when Jon Kitna gets mad? No, of course not, and certainly not the Packers and the ultimate warrior. Packers win 28-17

Jets @ Cowboys - J-E-T-S JETS JETS BOOBS! I loved the strip club story about the meadowlands this past week. It was reminiscent of the scene of the 2001 Patriots Victory Parade rally at City hall Plaza. While we waited for the Patriots to show up, no less than a dozen girls in the crowd around us were flashing people in 20 degree weather. Debauchery does not have a favorite team. Cowboys win easily 38 - 9

Colts @ Falcons - Figures that the one game that isn't obligatory due to annoying traditions is a laugher. Even if Michael Vick was playing it would be a laugher. Colts win 28-10

Sunday

Redskins @ Bucs - Bucs win 17-14 for no good reason. fortunately if im wrong no one will point it out because no one will care.

Seahawks @ Rams - I'd like to see the Seahawks finish out the string strong and take out the Cowboys in the playoffs. I'm more interested in avenging the 96 Superbowl loss than seeing the obnoxious (but not evil obnoxious) Cowboys. Seahawks win 24-17

Vikings @ Giants - What a tease it was for Vikings fan to see Adrian Peterson rip up the league for almost half a season then go down hard. Giants win and get a false sense of security 28-13

Chiefs @ Raiders - Remember when this was a fierce rivalry? I hated the Raiders in the late 80's almost exclusively because the Raiders cap (made famous by N.W.A.) was adopted by every kid in the country. Fortunately the Malcolm X hat took over soon after thanks to Denzel Washington. Chiefs win 24 - 3

Bills @ Jaguars - I'm interested in this game because I want to see the Bills bounce back and take it out on someone their own size. But the Jaguars appear to be semi-legit so they win 24-14

Texans @ Browns - If you start the season on the hot seat because of the atrocious job you did the previous season, do you really deserve "coach of the year" consideration because your starter got hurt and you pulled a horseshoe out of your ass in the way of Derek Anderson? SpyGate will cost Belichick the honor no matter what, but still I don't see how Crennel deserves it. But they do win 35-17

Titans @ Bengals - The Bengals are the new Browns. I understand their defense is terrible which it always is, but why isn't the offense more dominant? Starvin Marvin Lewis...enjoy your last few days of employment. I look forward to seeing you join the Steelers next season as a special teams coach. Titans win 24-21

Saints @ Panthers - Let's say Panthers 24-17

49ers @ Cardinals - The Cardinals win easily because the 49ers are sooo bad. With the 2nd selection in the 2008 NFL draft the New England Patriots select Darren McFadden, running back, University of Arkansas. Cardinals win 17-3

Broncos @ Bears - Broncos have (undeserved) swagger, the Bears are the Bears. Broncos win 21-13

Ravens @ Chargers - It's the GMC Under-Achiever Bowl! Ravens win 17-14 because the Chargers are too stupid. By the way did you see Shawn "no mo' steroids" Merriman get blown up by a block by 5'2" Maurice Jones-Drew last week? No steroids, no sacks.

Eagles @ Patriots - REEEEVEEEENNNNNGEEEE!! Eagles running back Reno Mahe on Super Bowl XXXIX: “I think they should forfeit, man. We won the Super Bowl. I think we should get it. I’m going to go trade my NFC championship ring for a Super Bowl ring.” Patriots win 52 - 7 (garbage time TD by the Eagles).

Monday

Steelers @ Dolphins - Come on Dolphins go ahead and lose. By the way does anyone else see a parallel to the Celtics in 86 with the most dominating team ever (ever...lurking bulls fans) and then getting Len Bias with the 2nd overall pick? Here's hoping Scott Pioli tells McFadden that he isn't allowed to go out and party with his friends the night after he's drafted. Because I don't want to suffer through 20 years of ML Carr/Rick Pitino for the Patriots. Steelers win 24-10.


Have a great Thanksgiving everyone and thanks for taking the time to visit the blog.