Week 13 Picks

On to the picks for another weekend of waiting for everyone to play before the Patriots.

Sunday Dec 3rd

49ers @ Panthers - Panthers, for no reason other than I want to see the Patriots get a top 3 draft pick. This one is a tossup to me though, but I'll stick with the Panthers

Jaguars @ Colts - the sexy pick here is the Jags, but I think reality sets in and the Colts come away with a win. The Jags always play them tough, but in the end Manning will have just enough to beat them.

Chargers @ Chiefs - Some tough games this week to pick. With Norv being Norv you never know what's going to happen. Chargers should win easily, but you could have said that about most of their losses this season. If LT rushes for 125+ they'll win, which I think he will.

Jets @ Dolphins - wow. just wow. why couldnt this have been on the NFL Network? I'm going to say the Dolphins get their first win of the season here. The Jets are that bad and if I wish for this hard enough it just might come true.

Lions @ Vikings - Stick a fork in the Lions, their magical ride is over.

Bucs @ Saints - Saints offense is finally playing like it should and I'm not sold on the Bucs defense stopping them like they stopped the Skins.

Seahawks @ Eagles - Time to come back to earth Eagles. You had your superbowl last week, now you'll play like its your pro bowl this week. Not that I like the Seahawks, but just a bit more than the Eagles this week.

Falcons @ Rams - This is the NFC version of the Dolphins/Jets game. You don't care any more than I do about this team and their level of mediocrity so close that it's not worth betting on.

Texans @ Titans - Remember when the Titans were good....i mean Lions good? Texans roll over them this week.

Bills @ Redskins - The "Let's do it for Sean" factor is tough here. If the Bills defense could remember that they're supposed to be able to form a pass rush I'd say they win, but the emotional of the home crowd and fired up Skins players should make this an easy one.

Browns @ Cardinals - Coach of the Year Romeo Crennel continues his campaign against the not quite as good as you think Cardinals. Way to go Romeo, even though no one has pointed out exactly what you've done to make this team better other than getting bad starters hurt and replacing them with surprisingly good ones.

Broncos @ Raiders - There are a lot of bad games this weekend. Broncos take this one because they can rush the ball and the Raiders can't stop anyone on the ground. That said it will be close because they both suck.

Giants @ Bears - Giants don't kick to Hester this week, so they win since that's the only way the Bears can score points.

Bengals @ Steelers - I don't understand why the Steelers have so many critics. They aren't the Patriots, but they're certainly the Jaguars or Colts. And the Bengals are the Bengals.

Army of Darkness vs Ravens - So they were going to win by 21 points at least before today. But now you have them playing on MNF after Ron Jaworski made a big deal out of Moss taking a couple of plays off, then you had Tom Brady firing back angrily today. 64-6

Have a great weekend everyone. I'll be posting from tropical Madison Wisconsin after the Monday Night Game. Fortunately for them, they didn't get the Packers game on TV last night either.

Random Cranky Old Man Type Thoughts

Ok, back in the groove after a few days of minor updates due to the inconsiderate interruptions of real life.

And now some random thoughts...the refuge of the columnist/blogger with no new ideas that could be fleshed out into a longer column:

• Jason Whitlock writes in this column about the media speculation around Sean Taylor and inclusion of his sordid past in writing about his death. If you read Whitlock, you know where this is going, which is why I read him. He tells the truth as he sees it from an objective perspective of someone with credibility. It's very refreshing when he does this. It's a great read because, although I disagree with the comparison of a "black KKK" to the actual "white KKK", he does not roll his opinion up into a "black man is always the victim" mentality that makes others (hello Scoop Jackson) unreadable. Along with Jason Whitlock, ESPN.com's Jemele Hill is a great writer with fresh perspective. And it has everything to do with them cutting through the hyperbole to give real perspective, and not some rabble-rousing attempt at solidarity with their culture above all else. And that ends my serious note for the day.

• I'm very happy to have Troy Brown back. Since Randy Moss looks like he might sit down on the field the next time Wes Welker gets more than 5 passes in a game, it will be good to have Troy also running in the slot to put pressure on the front seven not to blitz or try to keep Moss jammed at the line of scrimmage. But I think he'll end up playing defensive back on more snaps than wide receiver. But this is it, the swan song for the Troy Brown era and I've loved every minute of it.

• The Patriots are going to do some kind of Drew Bledsoe day right? Is it too soon? Are they worried he might come out of retirement and pull a Testaverde after they do it?

• If it's Thursday, it must be time for the media to scoff at all the points made earlier in the week. Today we have "no one created a blueprint" as the main scoffing point. Mostly it's the color guys and radio guys doing this though because everyone else is focused on the exciting Ultimate Warrior vs Ultimate Warrior Junior matchup tonight on a station I don't get.

• Speaking of the NFL network, I got almost daily emails over the summer from the NFL asking me to call my cable company to complain about not getting the NFL network standard. Are you kidding me? I hate the cable company as much as every one else, but for a league that is a financial juggernaut to ask me to complain because a network that just shows Eisen, Mariucci, and Sanders repeating shows over and over for 6 months out of the year, with a couple of games sprinkled in, is crying that they won't accept their outrageously expensive fees, is just insane.

• It's nice to see all of the national media members that have written columns about how injury depleted the Patriots are. Oh wait, I forgot that's just the Colts. No one is mentioning it because they keep winning. Morris, Maroney, Seymour, Colvin, Green, Watson, Wilson, and more I'm sure I'm forgetting have missed significant time this year. Hopefully Reuben Frank will take up the standard and write a column about this for SI.com. By the way, Reuben Frank. Sounds like something you'd order from the Sausage Guy outside Fenway.

• Dale, where is my gambling column? Everybody is waiting.

• I am sick of the Patriots on prime time. Speaking of MNF, Mike Tirico is one of the most boring people alive (and that new radio show for espn.com is nap inducing). Couldn't they replace him with Michael Wilbon, who already has a great rapport with Jaws and Kornheiser, has a more interesting range in his voice, and is opinionated enough to be interesting but not so much that he'll scare off ESPN Mouse executives?

• Two people I hate more and more every time I see and hear them: Sports Center's Neil Everett who is the Bania to Dan Patrick's Seinfeld, is the most obnoxious person to get highlights from. His schtick is old, boring, and way too forced. Stuart Scott is what Michael irvin would be if he had taken qualudes. Time to retire the boo-yeah Stuart.

• If Mike Reiss doesn't get hired by the Patriots scouting department in the next couple of years, I hope he jumps to ESPN to do Scouts Inc stuff. Because he's great and Scouts Inc is just not. You expect to read Scouts Inc. analysis and be dazzled with insight and accuracy, but they're just not. They just throw some stats in that they hadn't seen printed elsewhere, along with a lot of them that had, and say the same things everyone else says. You learn something new from Mike Reiss every single day. The Boston Herald doesn't have an equivalent to him, and neither does ESPN (Matt Mosley's Hashmarks is terrible). I hope he stays doing what he's doing now, but he should have a lot of opportunities (not for television though, he's got a bill simmons-like voice that doesn't translate).

• On an unrelated topic, this has been a terrible year for television, but the show "Life" is one of the best shows I've seen in years. So of course they never market it and put it on at 10pm on Wednesdays. But next week they have it on after Heroes on Monday which should hopefully help get it an audience. By the way, I hate cop shows of all kinds, but this one is fantastic and actually original. Heroes has been marginal, Bionic Woman is Alias if Jennifer Garner was the mother from Gilmore Girls, and reality tv jumped the shark way too long ago. The best television at this point is the Sunrise Earth show on Discovery Channel in the mornings where they just set a camera down somewhere in the world and let it film for two hours.

• Best Case Scenario involving Johan Santana: 1. he goes to the NL, 2. the Red Sox trade for him even giving up Jacoby, and 3. he stays where he is and signs an extension. If it comes down to the Red Sox getting him but have to give up Ellsbury and Bucholtz, it's still better than him going to the Yankees and forcing Drew, Ortiz, Ellsbury, and Varitek having to go lefty vs lefty against him 5-6 times per year and in the playoffs. I love watching Ellsbury and Bucholtz will be a solid #2 in a couple of years, but we're talking about the best left hander in the game potentially going to new york, or joining Becket and Daisuke as the big three which would destroy everyone in the playoffs. Remember that there is no one else even remotely close to Santana available.

• Unless it's a storied QB, is there any worse cliche'd non-story than a player returning to face his old team in the NFL? Adalius Thomas was good, but he was on an 11-man defense with more than a couple of people who were better than him and will be in the hall of fame. It's not quite the same as Johnny Damon returning to Fenway or K.G. facing the Timberwolves. He won't even be able to tell if they're cheering or booing him. I think the only non-QB's that warrant such a topic would be T.O. playing in Philly or Moss playing in Oakland.
  

• Since Ron Jaworski said that Randy Moss took some plays off on Monday night, you can be sure that every media person will be focused completely on him and have their columns already half-written. Every receiver takes a play off here and there. Running down the field as Moss did on 71 or 73 snaps and only getting the ball thrown to him 10-12 times will make you do that once in a while.

• I don't think the Ravens will score more than 10 points on Monday night, but if they do, we are in for some scary playoff games because the old men in the middle look tired. I haven't heard Mike Vrabel's name much the last two games either. It's not difficult for a 34+ year old to start strong, but to finish strong is very tough (just go back to the AFC Championship last year). If there is a blueprint to take from the Eagles game it's that spreading your offense out to force the old men into coverage will wear them down over the course of the game.
  

• One other thing on Mike Reiss. Do you think the rest of the local writers hate him a little more each time he posts a blog entry with quotes that would make a column by them obsolete for the following day? Instead they have to go with great topics like "Maroney Biding his Time."
  

• The marathon Sports Guy chat yesterday was disappointing. He's lost his fastball in the last few months. He won't take on Gregg Easterbrook for some reason (though he's taken on other page 2 people there in the past). He won't say anything even remotely controversial anymore and he doesn't do ramblings which were always his best columns. Now he just references reality shows only teenage girls watch, and talks about being a father, which for the 18-35 crowd is boring as hell. So when he said yesterday that if people read his old Digital City columns, they'd think they weren't as good as they remembered, he is wrong, because you can compare them to the stuff he writes now, and it's not even close. Very sad. I think he could start his own site and make at least the same money he makes now. It's not like we care about the sport/celebrity access he gets, so why not take the shackles off and write whatever you like? You have a built-in national audience now that would make your site huge. You could also bring in other columnists that are either outspoken or just plain good and create an alternative to ESPN.com, SI.com, MSNBC.com, Sportingnews.com, and CBSportsline.com that wouldn't have to worry about offending people from the network.

• I'm realizing now that I sound like a cranky old man in this post so I'll stop now.

Picks tomorrow, my friend Dale blows off doing a gambling column to keep his all-time streak alive, and some thoughts on the Cowboys/Packers game that I won't be able to watch.

Public Service Announcement for Massachusetts residents: Remember to go home and spank your kids now while it's still legal to do so. Reasoning with your children will make them appreciate you more and certainly won't lead to them walking all over you as teenagers. I actually heard someone on a radio show call in and say that they never spanked their kids, but their 13 or 14 year old threatens to call DSS every time they try to ground him or prevent him from going out to hang with his friends.

The wussification of the world continues. Massachusetts could upstage California soon. How will San Francisco respond? Outlaw the word "no" for use with children?

Blueprint marks early candidacy into dumbass sports cliche hall of fame. Looks to be inducted alongside Trap Game

Every story this week involving the Patriots or Eagles includes the word "blueprint", as in the Eagles created a blueprint on how to stop the Patriots.

What does the blueprint consist of?

1. Pressure Tom Brady with exotic blitzes
2. Be physical with Randy Moss at the line of scrimmage
3. Throw the ball in the middle

Some pretty innovative stuff right there. Since week 1 of 2003 the blueprint has included pressuring Tom Brady with exotic blitzes as the best way to rattle him. Of course that's an NFL-wide blueprint. The problem is, he's prepared for those blitzes most weeks. The Eagles were one of the poorest blitzing teams in the league before that game and more importantly got a good pass rush from their interior linemen. That's not exactly a blueprint, it's just football.

Every commentator this year has listed "jam Moss at the sideline" as a key to slowing down on the offense, but no one was doing it. They did it some extent this past week, but it wasn't exactly the Patriots 2003 smackdown of Marvin Harrison in the AFC Championship. This isn't exactly a new concept that the Eagles drew up. It's just that no one else has been that effective at jamming him.

Throw the ball in the middle. Remember the Colts game? Lots of dink and dunk throws over the middle that got a lot more yardage than they would have a couple of years ago. That's what having aging linebackers will do to you (and sitting Adalius Thomas most of the game of course).
The Eagles didn't provide the "blueprint" for beating the Patriots. There was never a question about how you beat them. It was a question of which team can have all 53 players put in their best effort of the season. Other than the two ridiculous interceptions that reminded us all that this was indeed AJ Feeley and not Peyton Manning behind center, he had played the kind of game that 8 out of 10 QB's don't have all season. You can't pretty much count on him to rebound this week with a 62.5 QB rating to fall back to earth.

So the "blueprint" is this week's bandwagon storyline. Is it me or has the internet made columnists way too lazy in coming up with material. It's not that I have a problem with questioning whether the blueprint exists and works, it's that they don't seem to question it as if the NFL just had a "eureka" moment this week and now the Patriots will go on to lose 2-3 games. And you can be sure the Ultimate Warrior will be able to beat them because he's the MVP and has a physical defense. You can also bank on it that the Steelers will win because they too have a physical defense (it's pretty nice when your nose tackle can run at the same speed as their wide receivers) and Big Ben has once again been crowned an Elite Quarterback. Welcome to that exclusive club, which has grown from last year's 2 (brady/manning) to 5 (Brady, Manning, Favre, Romo, Roethlisberger, and until recently Derek Anderson, Donovan McNabb, and Jon Kitna...who have all been called elite at some point this season).

By the way, here is a good stat from Cold Hard Football Facts about the opponents front seven facing the Patriots this season. Not good news.

. . . . .

Using our Defensive Hog Index rankings heading into Week 12, here’s how New England’s opponents have played up front.

• Buffalo (twice): No. 32
• Miami: No. 31
• Cleveland: No. 29
• New York Jets: No. 28
• Cincinnati: No. 26 (tie)
• San Diego: No. 24
• Indianapolis: No. 22 (tie)
• Washington: No. 19 (tie)
• Dallas: No. 5.

. . . . .

Eagles were #10, while the Ravens are #1, Steelers are #8, and Giants are #6.

Scared yet? No, me neither. Just remember all of the #1's attached to the Patriots offense.

Patriots win 31-28 Post-Game Thoughts Before I forget them

• That was a hell of a football game. Frustrating for a Patriots fan looking for more punishment inflicted on an inferior opponent, but it was still great.
  

• The Patriots were completely out-coached tonight and I can't remember the last time I thought that, though it was probably both Colts games last season. That was a hell of a game plan by Jim Johnson. Did anyone else think back to the Patriots DVD from 2001 where Belichick is on the sidelines yelling at the defense, "In-cuts! Slants and in-cuts! That's the game. That's the game." And then they went out and took away the slants and in-cuts. Tonight, they didn't.
  

• Does Tedy Bruschi still play for the Patriots?

• Thank God for Wes Welker. Lots of dropped balls tonight, none by Welker.

• Is it me or did Al Michaels and John Madden just keep repeating the same 4 points over and over again? 1.) Madden: do you get the feeling the eagles came in with a chip on their shoulder? 2.) Junior Seau is a heck of a football player isn't he? 3.) Al: If nothing else, the Eagles have to feel pretty good that they're hanging with the Patriots 4.) Madden: Look, no huddle 4 receiver set out of the shotgun, they're going into it again. No kidding John. Madden had the one good early point about the Patriots being vulnerable to in-cuts. And that's all he had all night.

• If I'm an Eagles fan, I think I would have been annoyed every time Al Michaels gave the "moral victory" spiel with 7 minutes, then 5 minutes left in the game. They were down by a field goal and were carving up the Patriots secondary to that point. It was only when they foolishly went to the outside that they turned the ball over.

• On a positive note, I'm glad Andrea Kramer is having less and less time to report on nothing during the games. Nothing worse than going to a sideline reporter for an injury note that could just be ready by Madden so he can increase his contributions to the game by 20% with a 5th topic.

• Get ready for Patriots backlash this week. The overboard "greatest team ever" and "they're going to score 50 on everyone" talk will now be replaced by "they're overrated" and stories about how the Steelers, Ravens, and Giants can now beat them because they were given a blueprint by the Eagles. Of course the blueprint the Eagles drew up was taken largely from the Colts blueprint, but since we're in an era of media laziness, they won't mention that.

• Would it kill the Gillette Stadium crowd to make some noise to at least pretend there is a home field advantage along the lines of the Colts, Chiefs, etc?
  

More on Week 12 and the Patriots on Monday. I was frustrated the whole game, but in the end it was an exposure of the aging Pats linebackers, injured secondary (Randall Gay drives me crazy), and the game of his life from A.J. Feeley that did in the Patriots. Brady was good, a more typical 2003-2006 Tom Brady performance.

Congratulations AFC East Champion New England Patriots

well it took until November 24th, but the Patriots finally clinched the AFC East. This is the rare year where you could actually go buy a hat and t-shirt and have it not be obsolete for a while.

Eli Manning. You are awful.

It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving

Week 12 Picks - Thanksgiving Edition

Thursday

Packers @ Lions - Does anyone get nervous when Jon Kitna gets mad? No, of course not, and certainly not the Packers and the ultimate warrior. Packers win 28-17

Jets @ Cowboys - J-E-T-S JETS JETS BOOBS! I loved the strip club story about the meadowlands this past week. It was reminiscent of the scene of the 2001 Patriots Victory Parade rally at City hall Plaza. While we waited for the Patriots to show up, no less than a dozen girls in the crowd around us were flashing people in 20 degree weather. Debauchery does not have a favorite team. Cowboys win easily 38 - 9

Colts @ Falcons - Figures that the one game that isn't obligatory due to annoying traditions is a laugher. Even if Michael Vick was playing it would be a laugher. Colts win 28-10

Sunday

Redskins @ Bucs - Bucs win 17-14 for no good reason. fortunately if im wrong no one will point it out because no one will care.

Seahawks @ Rams - I'd like to see the Seahawks finish out the string strong and take out the Cowboys in the playoffs. I'm more interested in avenging the 96 Superbowl loss than seeing the obnoxious (but not evil obnoxious) Cowboys. Seahawks win 24-17

Vikings @ Giants - What a tease it was for Vikings fan to see Adrian Peterson rip up the league for almost half a season then go down hard. Giants win and get a false sense of security 28-13

Chiefs @ Raiders - Remember when this was a fierce rivalry? I hated the Raiders in the late 80's almost exclusively because the Raiders cap (made famous by N.W.A.) was adopted by every kid in the country. Fortunately the Malcolm X hat took over soon after thanks to Denzel Washington. Chiefs win 24 - 3

Bills @ Jaguars - I'm interested in this game because I want to see the Bills bounce back and take it out on someone their own size. But the Jaguars appear to be semi-legit so they win 24-14

Texans @ Browns - If you start the season on the hot seat because of the atrocious job you did the previous season, do you really deserve "coach of the year" consideration because your starter got hurt and you pulled a horseshoe out of your ass in the way of Derek Anderson? SpyGate will cost Belichick the honor no matter what, but still I don't see how Crennel deserves it. But they do win 35-17

Titans @ Bengals - The Bengals are the new Browns. I understand their defense is terrible which it always is, but why isn't the offense more dominant? Starvin Marvin Lewis...enjoy your last few days of employment. I look forward to seeing you join the Steelers next season as a special teams coach. Titans win 24-21

Saints @ Panthers - Let's say Panthers 24-17

49ers @ Cardinals - The Cardinals win easily because the 49ers are sooo bad. With the 2nd selection in the 2008 NFL draft the New England Patriots select Darren McFadden, running back, University of Arkansas. Cardinals win 17-3

Broncos @ Bears - Broncos have (undeserved) swagger, the Bears are the Bears. Broncos win 21-13

Ravens @ Chargers - It's the GMC Under-Achiever Bowl! Ravens win 17-14 because the Chargers are too stupid. By the way did you see Shawn "no mo' steroids" Merriman get blown up by a block by 5'2" Maurice Jones-Drew last week? No steroids, no sacks.

Eagles @ Patriots - REEEEVEEEENNNNNGEEEE!! Eagles running back Reno Mahe on Super Bowl XXXIX: “I think they should forfeit, man. We won the Super Bowl. I think we should get it. I’m going to go trade my NFC championship ring for a Super Bowl ring.” Patriots win 52 - 7 (garbage time TD by the Eagles).

Monday

Steelers @ Dolphins - Come on Dolphins go ahead and lose. By the way does anyone else see a parallel to the Celtics in 86 with the most dominating team ever (ever...lurking bulls fans) and then getting Len Bias with the 2nd overall pick? Here's hoping Scott Pioli tells McFadden that he isn't allowed to go out and party with his friends the night after he's drafted. Because I don't want to suffer through 20 years of ML Carr/Rick Pitino for the Patriots. Steelers win 24-10.


Have a great Thanksgiving everyone and thanks for taking the time to visit the blog.

Tangent

I interrupt this blog to bring you this video that has an important message, but more importantly will make your morning coffee squirt out your nose when you see the guy with the Tron outfit.

TMQB - The Post that will save you 45 minutes of feeling like you just read a science text book written by a Star Trek Nut

Gregg Easterbrook's column today (which never actually appears in the morning like it's title suggests), has a not-so-fresh take on RunUpGate. So save yourself a lot of time and read the excerpt below or click on the title of the post to waste 45 minutes of your day. Spoiler Alert: Atom smashers may be bad for scientistics looking for funding in the future!

. . . . .

Running Up the Score Watch: At the end of the third quarter, the Patriots were leading Buffalo 42-7 -- more than the margin of the greatest comeback in NFL history -- yet Tom Brady was still on the field, still throwing passes like mad while the Flying Elvii were going for it on fourth down rather than attempting a field goal, frantically trying to run up the score. This is bad sportsmanship, plus it needlessly exposes starters to injury. New England possessions Sunday night: Touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, punt. That's impressive until you get close to the end of the string, when more touchdowns are unneeded. It is one thing for the Patriots to be determined to win, quite another for their coaches to be determined to convince the world they are poor sports. This is extremely weird -- why would anyone want to convince the world of this? Should the Patriots advance to win the Super Bowl still displaying bad sportsmanship at every chance, the postscript on the whole NFL season might be this word: bummer.

The Flying Elvii are doing everything to near-perfection, but TMQ continues to think too much credit is going to Brady and his flashy receivers, not enough to the offensive line and defensive front seven. On the night, Brady was never sacked, was hit only once and hurried only once; otherwise, he stood in the pocket as though he was posing for a magazine cover, no rusher even near him. Put Joey Harrington behind New England's great offensive line, and he'd be a star. When New England was on defense, J.P. Losman was sacked four times and hit really hard on three other occasions, despite Buffalo's keeping at least six back to block. Brady's passes were right on the numbers, and Losman's passes were hitting the turf in front of his receivers; superior New England line play was the reason for both outcomes.

Speaking of receivers, when oh when will someone jam the ones from New England? Game after game, defensive coordinators play New England by having the corners backed off and soft. Attention, this is not working! Tuesday Morning Quarterback continues to long to see what will happen if a defense simply jams the New England receiving corps -- the way New England corners almost always jam their opponents.

. . . . .

Here are some examples of why Gregg is an idiot and you can't blame the Patriots for running up the score...which they did.

1. With 8:56 left in the 3rd quarter Brady hit Watson on a 4th & 1 from the 3. Why not kick a field goal? Well, the Patriots know the game is in hand, so a field goal, as Belichick said after the game (and after the Cowboys game as well), kicking a field goal is a bigger slap in the face. By running a play on 4th & 1, they gave the Bills a chance to stop them and get the ball, instead of a 99.99% chance of a successful chip shot field goal.

2. 3:56 left in the 3rd quarter, the Patriots are in the red zone. 3 of the next 4 plays are runs to All-Pro Kyle Eckel and he busts in for a touchdown. Kyle freakin Eckel.

3. That touchdown by Eckel came on the first play of the 4th quarter. It was also the last play that Tom Brady appeared on the field. 7 touchdowns on 7 drives. Now he's out. If he stays in, it's reasonable to assume he tosses another 3 TD passes. But he won't because he was taken out after the 1st play of the 4th quarter.

4. 11:04 left in the game, the Bills punt to Welker at the Pats' 36. There isn't a defender within 15 yards of Welker when he fair catches it. If you saw the previous punt returns for Welker in the game, you'd see that he rarely fair catches and often caught the ball with defenders closing in on him. If you don't think this was planned, then you're just too jaded to be objective.

4. 3:56 left in the game, 4th and 6 at the Bills' 36. Does anyone doubt the Patriots could have converted this? Does anyone doubt that it's only a marginally difficult field goal try? Patriots pooch punt instead.

Hopefully in the offseason the NFL will convene a special "sportsmanship committee" to address the parameters around running up the score, when should you take out your starters, and whether the beaten down team should be allowed to pass the ball themselves when the ethics professors in the media deem the game to be unofficially over.

No one disputes them running up the score at this point. But when they get to the playoffs and someone actually plays them 60 minutes like the Colts did, do you want your team spending the previous 16 weeks calling off the dogs 5 minutes into the 3rd quarter? How does your team get up for 60 minutes if you don't play 60 minutes every week?

But, wait. Intellectually superior protectors of sportsmanship, like Easterbrook will tell you in one sentence: "On the night, Brady was never sacked, was hit only once and hurried only once; otherwise, he stood in the pocket as though he was posing for a magazine cover, no rusher even near him". Then in another he says: "At the end of the third quarter, the Patriots were leading Buffalo 42-7...yet Tom Brady was still on the field....This is bad sportsmanship, plus it needlessly exposes starters to injury."

How are you exposed to injury if you were only hit once and hurried once?

A typical TMQB column today. Heavily researched astronomy, poor box score evaluations, agenda-pushing subjectivity. The most well thought out part of that whole column was regarding the reason christmas music is playing earlier than ever this year.

As Glen Ordway (WEEI's BIG O) said today on his radio show: "Screw Gregg Esterberg and the rest of those guys."

If you like Terminator, ACDC, and a photo montage of the Patriots, check out this video submission from Mike. If you've got a link, video, or comments you'd like to contribute, send them in!

Thoughts on Week 11

After week 11, we found out a couple of things about the Patriots' chances of running the table:

1. The Colts are cooked. Unless Peyton learns to become the 2006 Tom Brady in the next 5 weeks, they may be one and done in the playoffs.

2. The Jets got some mojo back this weekend by beating the Steelers. What does that mean for their showdown with the Patriots? Only that when the 80th point is scored by the Patriots, there will be some angry cheap shots and pushing. Picture Ralphie in Christmas Story when he's beating up Scott Fargas and crying and swearing the whole time. The only difference here is that Scott Fargas will win ("He has yellow eyes!").

3. The Ravens' defense doesn't look like it can stay with the Patriots offense at all and that's not even considering the Kyle Boller vs NE defense factor. Boller is Tony Eason reborn. And unfortunately for them McNair isn't able to fill in as Steve Grogan and pull off a naked bootleg to save the day.

4. The Steelers are emotionally drained, which is why they lost. That is the spin coming from the sportswriters who are still holding out hope (albeit a small hope) that they can strike down the Patriots (which of course would make them more powerful than they could possibly imagine). That's right. The only thing that would make these Patriots even stronger is a random loss. But it won't be coming from these Steelers. The "send exotic blitzes to get to brady" thing doesnt work if you dont have freeney AND mathis on your line.

5. The Giants have a winning record so they'll still be mentioned as a possible challenge in week 16. I don't think the Giants are any better than the Bills.


Elsewhere the day after Week 11:

• The Buffalo News on the anti-christ Bill Belichick: This may come as a blow to his stadium-sized ego, but Belichick didn't become a genius until an injury knocked Drew Bledsoe out of the lineup in 2001, opening the door for Brady. Belichick was a sub-.500 coach before the emergence of Touchdown Tommy. Thanks Scott for that great analysis. I'm surprised no one has brought that up before. Of course they feel a little stupid when someone reminds them that Belichick's defensive gameplan from the Giants Superbowl XXV win sits behind glass in Canton. I'm just guessing but I don't know that the hall of fame is littered with defensive gameplans.

• The "how can we keep Brady from winning the MVP" movement keeps taking new turns. This week it's "let's give to to Moss and T.O. because they are the biggest difference makers on those teams." This typically leads to the idea that Brady wasn't that good but now looks great because of Moss. In MVP debates this is what drives me the most crazy. If you're for Moss being MVP, don't you look at what he's done the last few years, then see what he's doing this year and say "well he got to play with Tom Brady" more than the other way around? I'd be fine with a co-MVP for Brady and Moss, because they're both going to set records at their position, but don't even try to tell me T.O. is an MVP. I'll take the ultimate warrior Brett "Beowulf" Favre over T.O. first. Eventually this will be a moot point because T.O. isn't going to match Moss' season output and Brady will have provided the best season at QB in the history of the game (just ask John Madden).

• Get ready for a ton of "Brian Westbrook is the most underrated player in the NFL" stories this week. You know Sal Paolantonio will be taking copious notes to bring him back to earth in his next edition of overrated/underrated players/team ever/now.

• The Buffalo News story by Scott Potniak is the only column I could find this morning berating Belichick for running up the score (by the way did anyone else notice Wes Welker fair catching the ball in the 4th quarter when he had no one within 15 yards of him? It's things like that that are not noticed by the typical media hack, but is part of what is really done to be conservative for the sake of sportsmanship. Brady was already out of the game).

• McNabb's status for next Sunday's game against the Evil Patriots is uncertain. Everyone involved should just make it certain and have him take the week off. It's going to be ugly. And McNabb will not give you a chance to win. Let's remember that the Eagles are #3 on the Belichick Hit List after the Jets and Chargers. They want their rings back because the Patriots cheated.

• Rodney Harrison continued his entertaining "fly in out nowhere off-camera to deliver a death blow after the play is already whistled dead" moves last night. I counted 4 on the night and again I probably missed a couple.

• I really hope they re-sign Moss in the off-season. But even if they don't, they'll franchise him and pay Asante Samuel. And then they'll trade down in the draft so that some badly managed team, lets call them the Giants, will jump at the chance to get Darren McFadden with the Patriots #1 pick. Then the Patriots will get several picks, which will turn into corners, and linebackers, and running backs, oh my.

• If the Broncos somehow win their division and make it to round 2, Patriots fans will be nervous. No matter how awful they are, they will always scare us. I'd rather play the Steelers or Chargers than the Broncos.
  

Tomorrow, I expect the media hacks to file new condemnations of the Patriots because they didn't have time from the night game. And if they don't there is always Gregg Easterbrook to pick apart. I'll try to bring in an expert to dispute his astronomy lectures as well.

Dumbass Jets Fan of the Week

Im just going to link to this YouTube video. To say it has inappropriate work language is an understatement.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=EwN2gzbjA08

but it's worth watching for the production values.

Week 11 Picks

Is there anything worse for a football fan than a bye week? These past two weeks have been very long (thank God for the undefeated Celtics). I don't appreciate Barry Bonds stealing the spitelight (get it?) from the Evil Patriots this week. If the weather holds up in Buffalo (instead of the predicted below freezing snowstorm) maybe a Fitty on the scoreboard will bring the haters back out.

And on to the picks (against the spread with winner in bold):

Tampa Bay
Atlanta (+2.5): Tampa Bay

Cleveland
Baltimore (+2.5): Cleveland (feels weird just typing that)

New England
Buffalo (+15.5): Buffalo (only if it snows, winds exceed 25mph) **UPDATE: Weather forecast is sunny but still freakin cold. Pick changed to Patriots - final score: 48-13.

Arizona
Cincinnati (-2.5) : Cincinnati (due to my rule of not picking AZ and Cleveland in the same weekend)

Washington
Dallas (-10.5) : Dallas by 30. go back to nascar Joe.

Carolina
Green Bay (-9.5) : Green Bay. The Ultimate Warrior's quest to steal the MVP trophy from the disrespectful Tom Brady continues this weekend. By the way, everyone who wants Favre to win the MVP is making the same asinine argument that was not valid the past 5 years when Brady was a candidate. If Brady doesn't win last year's MVP, how can you justify Favre this year?

New Orleans
Houston (+1.0) : New Orleans - Remember when Reggie Bush was the next Gale Sayers? Still, he might get 100 yards this weekend.

Kansas City
Indianapolis (-14.5) : Indy. They've lost the ability to matchup with the Patriots because of injuries and lack of evilosity, but they should still kill any team coached by Herm Edwards.

San Diego
Jacksonville (-2.5) : San Diego only because I have to assume they'll start using LT again.

Oakland
Minnesota (-4.5) : Oakland in a low scoring 14-13 suckfest.

Pittsburgh
N.Y. Jets (+9.5) : Pittsburgh. My prediction? Pain.

Miami
Philadelphia (-9.5) : Philadelphia

N.Y. Giants
Detroit (+2.5) : New York - once again proving that Detroit on Thanksgiving is only slightly worse than heartburn.

St. Louis
San Francisco (+2.5) : St. Louis - the march to the apocalypse where the Patriots go 19-0, set all sorts of records, and then get the #1 pick in the draft marches on. Go Rams!

Chicago
Seattle (-4.5) : Chicago - the battle for first-round-bounce-team goes to Seattle however.

Tennessee
Denver (-2.5): Tennessee - Vincy Young rebounds sort of, which is enough to beat the Broncos.

by the way, for any HTML geeks out there, I hope you appreciated the retro use of the "blink" tag above. The blink tag was the 1996 version of Flash. Although animated gifs were pretty awesome too with the dancing jesus in the middle of everyone's personal homepage...yet i digress.

Enjoy the weekend everyone (or you 5 people that read this blog on a daily basis).

I Love the Smell of Football in the Morning

Finally audio proof to go along with the video of SpyGate



Thanks to Steve for the link.

Some Very Random Thoughts

Channeling my inner-sportsguy, here are some random thoughts on a day when a news search for the words "belichick, tom brady, or patriots" with "evil, classless, jerks, shame, asterisk, cheating, spygate" only yielded 10 results (from a previous high of 4000):

• Dwight Freeney might be out for the season. That completely ends the Colts as a threat to beat the Patriots in the playoffs.

• Speaking of the Colts, why is Peyton Manning getting all sorts of props for the job he did on Sunday? Dr. Z (albeit senile) has never been more proud of the guy, and everyone else is filtering in the "he didn't have marvin" excuse. You know, Evil Disrespectful Tom Brady didn't have Marvin the last 6 years either. But he did pretty well. This Manning vs Brady debate is taking a big turn and the Manning defenders are building up excuses for the poster boy of goodness in the NFL.

• The New England Revolution (it's soccer), got into the championship game on a bicycle kick goal. And yet I haven't seen a single clip of this here in Boston. I like soccer in the same way that I like books by JD Salinger and Hemingway. Which means I say I like them to sound cool, but in reality they bore me to death. I still want to see a sports story involving a bicycle kick propelling the local team into the MLS Cup. But if you're looking for a good-bad sports movie involving soccer check out Frodo Baggins in Hooligans about soccer hooligans in England. Real good...pretty bad...very entertaining.

• It's surreal just how watchable the Celtics are again. It really has been 16 years since I've anticipated enjoying a Celtics game as much as I have since the season started. Rejuvenated doesn't even begin to describe the P. G. A.

• One of my favorite surfing addictions these days is to visit the online newspapers for the cities where the Patriots are playing to see what they're saying about them. If you've never done this, it's a great perspective and it's much more enjoyable than reading most of the drivel that comes out of the Globe, Herald, Projo, etc. Except for Mike Reiss, who I swear is publicly campaigning for a film breakdown job with the Patriots.

• Update: If the season ended today the Classless Patriots would have the #4 pick in the draft. And yet I don't think the Patriots would be happy about this because it would mean they'd have to throw out a ton of money to one rookie. I get the feeling this might be the #2 or #1 pick by the end of the season. Which would be freakin hilarious.

• We'll never have this chance again so: Celtics are 6-0, Sox won the World Series (winning their last 7 games), the Revs are in the MLS Cup Finals, the Bruins..., The Patriots are 9-0...is there any way Boston doesn't bring home the coveted "best sports city in america" title from the Sporting News this year?

• Is there anything more ridiculous than Gold Glove Awards? At least some sports pundits agree and don't hold it too highly. But yet when people talk about Greg Maddux they mention 16 (now 17) gold gloves and marvel at a pitcher who can, once in a great while, close his eyes, stick out his glove, and have the ball find his glove.
  

• I f**king hate Starbucks. And I hate everyone who gets suckered into paying $5 for a weak-ass latte. Disclaimer: this excludes my wife in case she decides to read this blog for once.

• If you create a video montage of photos of your 8-year-old stepson and set it to the music of the Ghetto Boy's "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta" (from Office Space), does that make you a bad person? So far the votes from my family are too close to call.

• The Sox are opening the season in Japan against the A's. I wonder who will have the home field advantage in that one. Here's a suggestion for the NHL. If you want to become economically and socially viable again, why not put a game or two in Moscow? Why hasn't that even been discussed yet? The Russians have always hated that their best players defected to the US and Canada to play in the NHL, now this is a chance to make the sport popular to people who might actually care about hockey.

• Some names on the Playboy contest of America's Sexiest Sports Broadcasters that you make you wonder: Jeanne Zelasko (yech), Hazel Mae (maybe the 2004 Hazel Mae, not the bright orange bloated 2007 edition), ESPN's Sage Steele (cute, but she knows absolutely nothing about sports and doesn't even try..which is a turnoff for a sports broadcaster), Rachel Nichols (who needs to pay a visit to Sunset Tan).

• The Classless organization that is the New England Patriots will be using renewable wind energy to power the stadium on game days and nights. Look for 2008's WindGate when windmills are installed to blow unusually hard during opponent field goal attempts. Ted Kennedy said to plan a boycott of Patriots game because of the unsightly windmills and lack of single malt scotch.

Week 10 Weirdness

Here are some thoughts on Week 10 that I'll call MMQB's Last Call Snap Judgments Between the Hashmarks :

1. I got a few requests to comment on Adam Vinatieri missing that gimmee last night: A few thoughts came to mind.

a. He left for the "big money" though I'm guessing he only broke even because he had to give up his lucrative Papa Gino's spokesperson gig. He went to the Colts, which is the football equivalent of going to the Yankees. So now I hate him. Until he retires and goes into Canton with an Elvis instead of a horseshoe on his helmet.

b. Funny how you miss the most smug-looking face in football until he's on the other side. Adam looks cocky all the time...until last night of course. Now that he's on the Colts I hate seeing it, because that kind of smug look belongs on the Evil Patriots.

c. "Adam Misses a Gimmee!" that call made me feel warm inside because not only is he pulling a Vanderjerk with his non-clutchness, but it meant that the Patriots homefield advantage throughout the playoffs was just gift-wrapped by a former evil Patriot.

d. Which leads me to a conspiracy theory I'd like to create and start circulating because the Patriots are off and we're thirsty for something evil. "So did you hear that the NFL is investigating Belichick and Vinatieri because Colts President Bill Polian believes that Vinatieri is still working for Belichick and paying him to miss kicks against the Patriots and any that could decide the game in the 4th quarter? Before spygate, no one would have ever thought that that kind of edge would be necessary, but now, it seems like a real possibility." If I'm lucky Bob Kravitz will pick this up for his Tuesday column.

2. Peyton Manning had 6 interceptions and yet was in a position to still win the game. What does this mean? It means the Indianapolis defense really is that good, the Chargers are still really bad, and Peyton Manning brought out a new "Peyton" face that Bill Simmons is going to need to write about. I've never seen that one before. I've never seen the facial resemblance to brother Eli as strongly as it showed last night.

3. If you thought the "if Marvin Harrison were playing this would be completely different" storyline was gaining strength after last week's loss to the Evil Patriots, then get ready for an onslaught of defenders this week. They're right of course, but considering Harrison is expected to be in pain the entire rest of the season, no one is going to put a big emphasis on him come playoff time if he plays. Right now I don't see Indy getting past Pittsburgh (no matter which team grabs the #2 seed).

4. The Steelers look sort of scary right now. The Evil Patriots should still roll over them because the anger burning in their black souls is still stronger than any "who dey?" emotion that the Steelers can drum up. But that is going to be the game of the Christmas Season!

5. There are few teams I enjoy seeing lose more than the Ravens. So I'm enjoying life quite a bit right now. Will they ever have a good quarterback? I'd say probably not.

6. Brett Favre is a warrior. An old warrior that is playing with child-like exuberance and a passion of the game, no one has ever seen before. He is a god among men, and the reason John Madden wakes up in the morning. His shuffle pass is pure genius, his arm is as strong as an ox, and he plays the game.....the way it was meant to be played. I felt sick just writing that. If you're a fan of the evil disrespectful Tom Brady you have to be a little worried that Favre is going to steal the MVP away because 80% of all sportswriters have a man-crush on him. Except Jason Whitlock who could never quit Tom Brady.

7. The Packers do look really good though. Packers vs Cowboys is going to be a great game, but too bad it's the week after Thanksgiving instead of the day of. The Packers defense is so solid, easily the difference why Brett Favre is better today than he was the last 5 years.

8. I'm not quite scared of the Bills like I was before their narrow victory over the putrid Miami Dolphins. The story in the Globe about how Belichick has been working 6am-6pm every day during the bye week to prepare for the bills also makes me warm and fuzzy. That is what you need in an anti-christ; the drive that says, "I know we could beat them if I just went to Nantucket for the week, but I want 60 points, and I want them to complain about it, so I'll work every second of every day this week instead."

9. Jaguars 28 - Titans 13. I'm still waiting for the generation of scrambling quarterbacks to take over the league. Vince Young ran for 52 yards yesterday, completed 24 of 41 passes for 257 yards and a touchdown, but still had 2 interceptions. I still think he'll be good...Kordell Stewart good.

10. For people who read Boston sports columnists, read this "effort" from Bob Kravitz and then imagine that kind of story being written by a Boston sports columnist. The thought is laughable. Just another reason I hate Kravitz and the Colts. I swear he does this just to put them on a pedestal and make everything surrounding the Colts glow with divine grace. Stupid Flanders was very stupid yesterday, Manning was suddenly the bad Brett Favre, and Vinatieri was Vanderjagt. But yet it was a proud day for the Colts.

Congratulations Evil Patriot of the Week - Mike Vrabel

Congratulations Mike Vrabel, you are our Evil Patriot of the Week!


Nominated by Bob Kravitz of the Indianapolis Star, Kravitz writes glowingly of Vrabel's ability to display a Tom Brady-like level of disrespect: "Shula drew Vrabel's ire after the former Colts and Dolphins coach had the audacity to say what many NFL coaches and players think: That whatever this year's Patriots accomplish -- a perfect season, a Super Bowl, whatever -- it will be accompanied by an asterisk because they stole opponents' signals. Vrabel, when asked about Shula's opinion, could have shown a modicum of respect and simply said he disagreed with Shula. Instead, he dismissed the former coach's views and called Shula an 'old, washed-up coach.' Heck of a football player, Vrabel. Too bad about the complete lack of class."

Other nominees for this week's award included: Roosevelt Colvin (spiking on the Colts logo), Tom Brady (he disrespected all 9 opponents by saying they don't matter), and VP Jonathan Kraft (for daring to accuse the Colts of pumping in noise). Well done gentlemen, well done.

Never Too Early To Start Thinking About the Draft

If the season ended today, here is what the draft order would be:

1. Dolphins
2. Rams
3. Jets
4. Falcons
5. Patriots

Wow. Thank you San Francisco and Commissioner Goodell for taking the Patriots pick as punishment and not the pick that they obtained from the 49ers.

So Spygate cost two rich men some money and the team's original pick (which will probably be around 30 or 31). But no matter what, the Patriots will have the 49ers pick which I think at the beginning of the season we expected to be in the low 20's. Here's hoping for no second half turnaround.

So I am now adding to the list of Eff You's handed out by the Anti-Christ.

1. We will win by at least 3 touchdowns in every game possible
2. I will shake your hand at midfield but assume Im flipping you off.
3. I will reduce my press conference comments by 45%
4. I will look for new rules to misinterpret...like the rest of you.
5. NEW: I will trade my #5 pick for two more first round picks that will still be better than the original picks I expected to have.

Does it really get any better as Patriots fan than right now? Remember, there is no offseason in football anymore so it's a year-round vengeance tour for the Evil Patriots.

Some Video Blog goodness

Do you know Dale from King of the Hill?



Well apparently he's a Steeler's fan who has a video blog where he speaks directly to Bill Cowher. He does a nice job of taking the me-first Pats and Colts to task for not putting in an honest effort.



If you enjoyed his incoherent analysis, you'll love his follow up on the topic as he brings in Boomer to his discussion with Bill Cowher.






Disclaimer: Evil Patriots Blog will not refund the minutes you just lost on your life watching this guy. We encourage you to take a multi-vitamin that will hopefully replenish those 5-10 minutes you just lost.

yes they do..infinity plus one

So my brother's friend's hairdresser was talking to this guy she met in a bar who's cousin is friends with a photographer who heard it from an RCA Dome security guard that yeah, they do pump crowd noise back into the PA system.

http://wbztv.com/local/local_story_310083445.html

Plotting the path of destruction and general mayhem

"All the old knives That have rusted in my back, I drive in yours."
- Phaedrus (Thrace of Macedonia)

Who is going to stop the juggernaut of doom? Here is a breakdown of the rest of the schedule:

Buffalo: not bloody likely
Why not?: rookie quarterback, Dick Jauron, suspect secondary
But: they're spunky and divisional games against subpar opponents have done in the Pats in the past.
Odds: 10-1
Final Score: 38-17

Philadelphia: no chance in hell (meaning Gillette)
Why not?: McNabb is terrible, the team has no strength that isn't surpassed by the Patriots, and Andy Reid will be too busy sneaking Oxycontins into his son in jail to be able to come up with a scheme to compensate for his awful team.
But: I can't even come up with a reach for how they'd pull it off
Odds: 30-1
Final Score: 48-6

Baltimore: reasonable chance (evil vs. supreme evil)
Why not?: Ray Lewis is on pace to snap and go on a killing spree any day now which will likely earn him a suspension and a stay in the ICU for Billick. But the best reason? Kyle Boller/Steve McNair. Either one gives you nothing at this point.
But: McNair could be fired up, Ed Reed could pick off Brady a couple of times and Kevin Faulk is due for a bad fumble game.
Odds: 8-1
Final Score: 35-3

Pittsburgh: scary shot
Why not?: Big Ben throws 15 passes per game. He'll get behind in this one and have to throw a lot more exposing himself to bad decisions a la 2004 Division Championship game. Troy Polamalu gets deek'd by Brady's lookoffs easily.
But: they matchup physically very well and prevent matchup problems for the O-Line. Ben has been better under pressure this year. If they're more physical and can control the line of scrimmage, they won't give it up in the 4th quarter like Indy did.
Odds: 4-1
Final Score: 28-14 (Tomlin defended the anti-christ during spygate, so no run up)

New York Jets: only if Mangini is fired in the next week
Why not?: Revenge!!!!!!!! and the fact that they suck in all facets of the game.
But: a rookie referee is assigned to the game and told to call it like he did with Indy.
Odds: 99-1
Final Score: 104-6

Miami: only if Don Shula is offered up as a sacrifice to the Patriots
Why not?: They are slightly worse than the Jets. No offense of any kind.
But: They play like they did late last year and get overwhelming pressure on Brady causing several interception/fumble recoveries for touchdowns. Their offense won't be scoring this day.
Odds: 50-1 only because they used to play the Pats tough
Final Score: 52-0 (on the last touchdown with 4 seconds left the entire team turns as one and stares up at the box where Shula sits and just glares at him for 30 seconds....think Clemens glaring at Dan Duquette when he dominated the red sox in his return).

New York Giants: A lot less than the hype will have you believe that week
Why not?: Eli Manning is easily confused and the anti-christ will have him in his palm. Plaxico Burress is good, but he's not Randy Moss and he's not Wes Welker. The O-line for the Pats can contain Strahan and company, and this is only a good team because they play in the NFC. Which is not the EFC of the Pats/Colts.
But: 4 kick off returns for touchdowns by the Giants and Eli Manning having the game of his life, and Michael Strahan finding out before the game that he was fired from Best Damn Sports Show and that he has to give his wife 75% of his paycheck because he didn't retire
Odds: 8-1
Final Score: 48-17 (garbage time touchdown by Eli, followed by two garbage time TD by Brady)

I can see Pittsburgh and NYG giving them trouble initially or making me nervous until the first drive is over. Then it'll be all Patriots.

Brady gets 55 TD's for the year. 82% of columns the following day will list it as: 55* touchdowns.

Shula Orders Up a Can of Whoop Ass

Do you think Dolphins Coach Cam Cameron was cringing when he heard about Don Shula saying the Patriots' accomplishments are tainted because of spygate no matter how well they do this year? If it weren't for the Slaughter at the Meadowlands scheduled for the week before they go to New England, I would vote this the first potential 100 point game in NFL history.

This whole Shula story is a bit ridiculous of course. The quotes used by the New York Daily News are three weeks old and mostly taken out of context. But we do have this fresh one from 72 Evil Dolphin Jim Mandich:

"You guys put forth the myth that we are pathetic losers down here clicking champagne glasses and clinging desperately to a record set 35 years ago," former Dolphins tight end Jim Mandich told the Daily News. "Somehow we've been portrayed as being evil. We don't ever blow our own horn. It's a great record, but the record doesn't get beaten.

"The Patriots have assembled a powerhouse of a team. They are a classy bunch of guys and play ball the right way. If they want to join the unbeaten club, come on aboard."

See, even retired football players know not to piss off the Patriots. Shula is an idiot, a very overrated coach (you have one of the 2 or 3 best QB's of all time and can't get to a superbowl more than once in his very long careeer?) and probably regrets everything he said.

But, this is a Patriots bye week and since Good did not vanquish Evil on Sunday, we need a recycled storyline to push and comment on all week.

I think it's safe to say these 2007 post-week-1 Patriots are not filming defensive signals from the sideline (maybe the stands though). So to try to attach a taint to this version of the evil Patriots is just crazy. Are they playing with the headsets at Foxboro? Probably, but apparently everyone is doing that and the Colts were caught doing it yesterday. But that's not a sexy story, it's only sexy when the personification of NFL evil gets caught doing it.

Do you think any questions will be put to Stupid Flanders this week about malfunctioning headsets? Probably not, because you can't touch someone who has been canonized as Stupid Flanders has.

And as for the Dolphins, they can only hope the Anti-Christ's heart grows three sizes when he reads Jim Mandich's comments, so that he doesn't take Shula's comments out on the Who's down in Dolphinville.

Get used to these cheezy metaphors by the way, I'll have Yukon Cornelius and Berger Meister Meister Berger references all the way to christmas.

Tomorrow's topic: more Patriots thuggery and why the Gold Glove is the most meaningless award in pro sports.

Evil Aftermath

Jonathan Kraft accused the Colts of pumping in fake noise to make the RCA dome louder. But CBS stepped in later to take responsibility for weird reverb (audio clip link).

Why is CBS pumping in its own crowd noise? That seems pretty cheezy. I don't think it takes a lot of imagination for the people watching to realize that the place is loud.

But, either way, the Colts' image of NFL purity is preserved, and the evil whining Patriots add another notch in their belt for pure evilosity.

A couple of evil notes that went unnoticed:
1. Roosevelt Colvin spiking on the Colts logo at midfield. The Colts unfortunately don't have a LaDainain Tomlinson to cry about it.

2. Tom Brady chewing out the official during kneel-down time in the 4th quarter. It was a good day for the disrespectful Tom Brady..he gave hope to all that is good and pure, then ripped into their dreams and delivered a painful blow to their feelings of goodness.

3. Rodney Harrison, He Who Must Not Be Voted to the Pro Bowl. How many times did you see a running play, where the play was whistled over, people were starting to drag themselves off the pile, then from off-camera comes a flying Harrison to deliver a death blow to whoever crossed his path? Fantastic. I counted three times, but it had to be more.

4. The Anti-Christ. It should be in the TV contracts that coaches are mic'd up before going to midfield for the awkward handshake. A nice simple nod to the efforts of Stupid Flanders, before moving on. Tony Dungy said something, then Belichick gave that "whatever get the hell away from me" reaction.


So now we have the bye week. For the next couple of days we'll get inundated with the obligatory "this team will go 16-0" columns, which are plentiful already, then they'll be ignored for a week. If Buffalo wins this weekend, then they may actually be considered a semi-challenge for the Patriots by a couple of dissenting columnists. Other than that, it's smooth sailing until the monday nighter against the Ravens.

Evil Triumphs over Good

hell of a game. I wrote "what a disaster" in two Instant Messages in the third quarter...wow.

more thoughts and links later this afternoon.

9-0

The Expert Picks

If you've been reading the columns this week for Pats-Colts, you've probably seen the sentence "everyone is picking the Patriots" many times. I just assumed that was true, since I read it so often.

ESPN Experts:

Pats: Keyshawn, Wickersham (right, me neither)
Colts: Golic, Mortensen, Jackson, Emmitt, Ditka

USA Today: 8 out of 10 columnists/experts picked the Pats

CBS Sportsline: 1 out of 5 columnists/experts picked the Pats

Indy Star: 0 out of 4 columnists/experts picked the Pats

Boston Globe: 4 out of 5 columnists/experts picked the Pats

SI.com: 2 out of 2 columnists/experts picked the Pats (i have no idea what SI Swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker's pick was because that video with her and Dr. Z is beyond unwatchable).

So from that sampling, 17 are picking the Pats, 16 are picking the Colts.

Doesn't really add up to "everyone is picking the Pats" does it?

But here's the thing. At the beginning of every NFL week where there is a big game coming up, everyone has a knee-jerk reaction like "Patriots are just going to win going away" and then the same columnists/analysts talk themselves out of it by the end of the week. Why is that? First off it doesn't pay to agree when you're an analyst/columnist. Usually they'll wait to see how the wind is blowing before they make their picks. Some people stick to their guns (or are homers), and some talk themselves into rationalizing an upset. If they're right and they went against the conventional wisdom, they make themselves out to be much more credible than if they took the safe route and won.

Here's my pick: Pats 38-28. BUT...there will be some terrible ref call that Colts defenders will be able to point to as having changed the outcome of the game. That's pretty much how these overly hyped games go.

And for the hell of it: Atlanta, Cincinnati, Denver, Kansas City, San Diego, Jacksonville, Washington, Tampa Bay, Carolina, Seattle, Houston, Dallas, and Pittsburgh.

That Ravens-Steelers matchup will be a good Wild Card weekend preview.

Enjoy the game.

Hype, Lies, and Videotape

Until today a huge majority of the columns and tv segments devoted to Sunday's game were centered around the hype for the game. It wasn't about the game, it was about the hype for the game. Last week the story was "are you ready for all the hype for this game?" So while there were some articles sprinkled around showing who had the edge, it was really just "can you believe the hype for this game?" Finally today you can actually get more analysis of the game, which is a good thing after a week of 500 columns devoted hype and the rest to three subjects:
1. Good vs Evil
2. RunUpGate
3. Manning vs. Brady

Here are some good column suggestions that never got attention:
1. What does it say that Marvin Harrison missed both practices this week and that Dungy said earlier in the week that if he missed Thursday's practice it would be "extremely doubtful" that we would play?
2. Tom "disrespectful and angry with a 52 point lead" Brady has been fighting with Gisele because he sent flowers to Bridgette about some article that she wrote or was written or something. Sure Tom is cool under pressure, but the wrath of two women at one time? How many people can deal with the #1 pass defense and a pissed off baby momma, on top of an insanely jealous supermodel diva? If he survives this successfully, wow...just wow.


My favorite quote of the day is from Tampa Bay CB Ronde Barber: "It's ridiculous," the Tampa Bay Pro Bowl cornerback said. "I was joking with a buddy of mine and I was like, who really wants to be a Super Bowl contender this year, so you can get beat 45-nothing?"

Kravitz is such a hypocrite

A great blog entry from Eric Wilbur on boston.com (thanks to Jim for the link) that talks about how hypocritical the whole RunUpGate thing is, especially when it comes to columnists like Bob Kravitz of the Indy Star.

Here's an excerpt from the blog in which Wilbur points out 4 consecutive drubbings (49-14, 41-10, 41-9, 51-24) in which the Colts destroyed their opponents in 2004.

"The Colts were celebrated as the bright and shining star of the NFL. Following the 51-24 win over Tennessee, the Indy Star's Bob Kravitz wrote, "At this point, we're not just watching football anymore. We're watching history. Every week, the Indianapolis Colts' offense uses the football field as its canvas, and every week, it creates an art form that is distinct from everything else in the copycat NFL."

Flash forward almost three years, and the very same Kravitz wrote about the juggernaut New England Patriots, "In the last three weeks, New England has scored 48, 49, and 52 points, inspiring inquiring minds to wonder, 'Did the Patriots pile on?' And every week, the obvious answer is, 'Duh.'"

This pretty much encapsulates the entire RunUpGate media frenzy that has taken place the last few weeks.

*** Update - Kravitz strikes back with a good defense of Wilbur's assertions that the Colts had run up the score as well. He says only one TD was in the 4th quarter. Good points Kravitz, of course the Patriots have been criticized for scoring at the end of the half, in the beginning of the 3rd quarter, and end of the 3rd quarter for games this year. Read the story here

Random Thoughts on Evil

If you do a Google search on the words "karma and belichick" you'll get 128 results for web pages that just started appearing in the last 24 hours. Some great originality out there on the intertubes.

Here are a few more combinations and what their results are for the last 24 hours:

Belichick and cheating: 428
Belicheat: 130
Belichick and classess: 175
Belichick and spygate: 167
Belichick and evil: 491!
Belichick and devil: 99
Belichick and antichrist: 4 (to be fair one of them is this blog)


Does anyone else as a Boston sports fan cringe when they know they're about to read a comment from someone called PatsRule4eva in the comments section of columns? Although I do have to say, the jackassery used to be much more limited to people (supposedly) from Boston, but lately drunk asshats from other teams are taking up the challenge. A year ago you would never have seen something like this from a Colts fan:

I guess we don't have to play....all the "experts" have BELLYSICKS boys crowned as the "NEXT COMING"......give me a break.
Colts 31 Pats 17 You'll understand after Sunday what it was like to play a "real" team. Go carve a pumpkin and say BOO

Pretty creative and Halloween-themed, so we salute you Column Comment Asshat.

Every team's fans has its share of jerks..but just because we're a little more internet savvy, doesn't mean we own the monopoly on this stuff.


I miss the days of the Digital City version of Sportsguy (ESPN's Bill Simmons) when he would routinely take media members to task for mailing it in. So in memory of the DC Bill, here is a short list of media members who don't look like they're even trying anymore:

Tapioca Division:
Peter Gammons - i know he's beloved, but seriously when was the last time he wrote anything even remotely informative. He didn't even wake up until the A-Rod press release during game 4. And don't tell me that becoming an ESPN Insider didn't kill his career.
Frank Deford - Just read every single column in the last year that he's written. Shouldn't take long, it's all information previously written about and lasts 4-6 paragraphs.
Dr. Z - Flaming Redhead...blah blah...i miss Butkus...blah blah...here are some power rankings 5 days after 200 other versions have been posted. Dr. Z actually had a decent column on the backlash/karma/antichrist theme this week, but he's still on this list for overall "i wish i could get that 5 minutes back" moments this past year.
Bob Ryan - Bob, a former great columnist, is totally incoherent at this point in his long illustrious career. Is it me or did he start to lose his touch right after he suggested someone needed to slap Jason Kidd's wife? On a side note, wouldn't the height of unintentional comedy be a conversation between Bob Ryan and Mayor Tom "jumbletrum" Menino?

I'll add to this list more, but send me your comments on who you think belongs here or feel free to disagree on these guys.