Injured Reserve-Gate Doesn't Quite Have the Same Ring

Former Patriots great Ross Tucker knows for a fact that Patriots players on IR practiced with the team!!

Here are the advantages of doing this:
1. The player develops his skills over the course of the year
2. The player stays involved with the team, building camaraderie and knowledge of the system
3. By giving the player on IR more practice reps, you can give veterans more rest.

Cheating? sure, I guess. Does it affect any games at all? No. Occasionally, Holy Roman Emperor Belichick will give kudos to a practice squad member that helped prepare them that week by imitating the opposing QB. But that's about as big of a deal as it gets.

At this point, people are just looking for anything else they can throw against the wall and stick.

Here is a comment from the reader comments that I loved from the Philadelphia Eagle's Editorial (someone named Brian) about how Senator Arlen Specter should be concentrating on other matters:

"Dear Senator,

I coach youth soccer and we have certain rules that are in place so that all the kids play the same amount of time. Last week we played a team that sat one of their less talented players for 2 quarters, clearly breaking the rules. We lost the game Senator! Their coach clearly cheated! well my goalie didn't show up and we let in 4 easy goals, but that's not the point. They clearly cheated and I am asking that you and the other Senator's investigate them. The opposing coach being influenced by Bill Belichick and company is running rampant and needs to be stopped! I feel that now is a good time to conduct the investiagation as gas prices are back down to 2 dollars a gallon, the economy is on the rise, and no one is dying in Iraq any more.

Thanks Senator

Credibility - Of Which We Have None

There is a point in every stretched-thin news story where the media at-large decides on what the absolute correct opinion is, and that any dissenting opinions have no merit or credibility.

Imagine a group of overweight, middle-aged reporters standing at the edge of the pool afraid that the water is too cold. Finally one reporter decides to throw caution to the wind, close his eyes, and jump in. Well, that guy did it, so it must be okay. So they all jump in the pool, whining like little girls, until they get used to the cold water. Then another reporter comes by dips a foot in, says it's too cold, and the rest of the reporters, start to taunt him for thinking the water is too cold and that he should just jump in already. The lone reporter now has to decide whether to take the taunting and believe his own foot, or jump in because these now-purple-skinned, shivering, fat guys are stuttering through clenched teeth that its warm.

Because this analogy involves a reporter, he of course jumps in, then makes vague indications to support that the water is warm, but it is also very cold. Three months from now when he is confronted about it, he will say that he always advocated that it was warm from the start.

Previous news-related examples include:

1. Post-9/11, if you disagreed with anything the government did, you were un-American.
2. If you believe that Barry Bonds should be in the Hall of Fame, you are blind and have no credibility.
3. If prior to 2001, you didn't think Derek Jeter was the best shortstop ever, you had no credibility.
4. If you think that a very large part of the reason Joe Torre and Phil Jackson have been so successful is because they went where the talent was, you were blind and also had no credibility.
5. If you thought Brett Favre wasn't the greatest warrior the world has ever seen, and that you not-so-secretly have a man-crush on him, you have no credibility.
6. If you listened to the entire speech that Reverend Wright gave instead of the 30 second soundbite, and then dared to utter the word "context" you are not only un-american, you are also a traitor with no credibility, and possibly an illegal alien.

There are tons of examples. The new and most obvious is this:

You have no credibility on SpyGate if:

1. You are a Patriots fan and don't think Belichick should be banned for life
2. You don't think asterisks should be stitched on to the Patriots' uniform
3. You believe that Belichick did not in fact rewind the tape at half time, analyze it, plan for it, then put it into the game in the 3rd quarter.
4. You believe that scouts, coaches, and the random "who are they" people that sit in the booth write down signals and use them if they don't have Flying Elvis on their sleeve.
5. You believe Jimmy Johnson, Phil Simms, and the number of other coaches and former players that said they knew the opponents signals.
6. You don't believe everything Matt Walsh said, but do think he's lying about a walk-through tape.

Since this is the Evil Patriots Blog and we are here to celebrate the glory and the evil genius that might have contributed .05% (I upped it from my original estimate of .00004%) to that success, then my credibility never got established in the first place.

Of course I'm perfectly fine with that. The fact that I do believe he cheated, that he was disingenuous during his CBS interview in having us believe he didn't know it was wrong, is beside the point. I don't care. I love his arrogance. More so, I love the purple vein that pops out of every media member's neck when they hear it. He was already hated before the start of last season. He was already the anti-Christ to Tony Dungy's Ned Flanders. This just cemented it as a fantastic story of good vs evil, where "good" is self-righteous and boring, and evil is centered and more reflective of our desire to see the guy in the white hat lose in the end.

It's why we root harder for Michael Corleone than Fredo, or Hannibal Lecter more than the insufferable Clarise Starling.

Evil will always triumph because good is dumb. It's why we can root for evil but not for serial killers and terrorists. Because serial killers and terrorists believe they are the good guys. Just like class-act Marvin Harrison who apparently got a get-out-of-media-scrutiny-free card with his last contract.

So to sum up, the reason why this blog might have even a small amount of credibility is that we celebrate what we know is evil, rather than seek to refute it.

"A little evil is often necessary for obtaining a great good."
-Voltaire

SpyGate has led to microphones being put into the helmet of an offensive player as it already is on defense. So thank you Bill Belichick for striving to create an equitable and fair playing condition in football. You are the bright light that shines upon those with sensitive eyes.

SpyGate 2 - The Search For a Story

"The Constitution gave us not only the right but the duty to create our own rules, including the rules concerning our ethics. They are enforced internally by the Senate itself."
- -Senator Arlen Specter speaking to his 2006 "nay" vote for creating a Senate Office of Public Integrity...because the Senate is great at policing itself

"What is necessary is an objective investigation," Specter said at a news conference in the Capitol. "And this one has not been objective."
-Senator Arlen Specter today regarding SpyGate

0
-Number of times in his long illustrious career that Senator Arlen Specter has called for a Senate investigation on ethics.

"The tension between Senator Specter and me was measurable. The process seemed to break down completely. Senator Specter would repeat the same questions until he got the answer he wanted.... To the press and spectators, we must have sounded silly and ill tempered. More than one sigh erupted from the seats behind me as Specter returned to the questioning and I once more gave my explanation. Clearly, neither of us would budge from our position.

Something in the back of my head said, 'Just say what he wants you say and get on with it.' But I was much too stubborn to do that. And the more he pursued it, the more inclined I was to resist. Digging in was, perhaps, for me one way of hanging on to some amount of my dignity. By now I knew that his questions were both insincere and ill informed. Though I tried to answer him, I was equally determined that the senator not put words in my mouth."

-from Anita Hill's book Speaking Truth to Power about her experience during the nomination proceedings for Clarence Thomas

Now, for the record, I like Arlen Specter's voting record overall. He was voted one of America's 10 Best Senators in Time Magazine after all. He's a moderate Republican who Republicans hate and Democrats don't trust. That's someone your average person who hates Hannity AND Colmes can relate to.

But it's pretty obvious from his press conference today and knowing what we know about him, that he's the kind of person who wades through the facts to get to the vague allegations of a very obviously revenge-driven former employee, to support his own conclusions. Why are the words of Matt Walsh gospel? Is it because he acknowledged that he didn't have a walk-through tape so he must be on the level?

Now Senator Specter wants an independent investigation. This is from a man who was a key member of the Warren Commission that investigated the death of JFK. So he knows all about hastily thrown together investigations that don't involve interviewing key witnesses so that preconceived theories can be put forth as fact that no one will ever question in the future.

I say bring on the independent investigation. Since this is the Evil Patriots Blog and I figure that everyone I hate would be a member of this investigative team with absolutely no axes to grind, here is my list of candidates for the investigation. I encourage you to submit your own as well if I've missed any good choices:

SpyGate Commission:

Co-Chair: Arlen "Eagles were not tired, they were victims" Specter
Co-Chair: Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy (to provide moral integrity)

Members:
1. Conduct a random lottery of every senator that receives campaign contributions from Comcast (such as Arlen Specter) so that the investigation can somehow mandate that all citizens be allowed to have the NFL Network.

2. Former NFL players that never cheated, punched or kicked their opponents, or tried to manipulate the referees such as Chris Carter and Mark Schlereth to represent the outraged former players that are still appalled by this.

3. Gregg Easterbrook to represent NASA.

4. Hillary Clinton, she'll have free time soon and will need to find someone to take out her anger on.

5. Nancy Grace. I hate that self-righteous biatch.

6. SI's Peter King. Because with all the investigating someone needs to bring coffee. And that will provide a good solid page of travel notes for his MMQB.

7. John Tomase, Boston Herald. When you run out of ideas and need something to reinvigorate a dead story, he's your man.

8. Julie Mangini. what? It's not Eric, it's his wife. There's no conflict at all.

9. Celtics coach Doc Rivers. Strategist.

10. The whole crew at ESPN:360 who's melodramatic recreation of team meetings where they look WAY too interested in what non-story their colleague is discussing with such fervor, should really come in handy here.

By the way, oil reached a new record today, two massive natural disasters happened in the past week, foreclosures continue to climb (nothing in the mail today!), Iran will be able to actually put up rather than shut up soon, Vladimir Putin is Dictator For Life, Darfur - it's not just for celebrities any more, 800 illegal immigrants just crossed our border while I thought about what to say about Darfur, baby boomers are about to realize healthcare doesn't care at all, I am never ever going to see a social security benefit in my lifetime.

But who cares? Congress will be commiting your tax payer dollars to an independent investigation of just how extensively a coach of a game of football taped the signals of other coaches that knew it was happening and didn't care.

Good times.

And We're Back!

Hello everyone, sorry it's been so long since I've posted on here (despite promising many more posts than the two I've submitted since the depressingly awful superbowl). Quick side note, every time I see the Celtics play on the road in the post season, it reminds me of the Superbowl. It's just mind-numbingly ridiculous that teams that can be that good at home could suddenly look so bad on the road. The Patriots weren't terrible on the road obviously, just really bad at the worst possible time.

Now that SpyGate D-Day is upon us, I thought it a good time to get back on the horse and chime in with some overdo comments (if I got paid for this I think I could start relating to why the SportsGuy seems to go weeks without submitting more than a podcast).

1. SpyGate - I actually feel let down. I didn't want to hear about a Rams walkthrough tape, but I did want to hear about the Steelers in the AFC Championship, because I hate the Steelers so much. I get the feeling there was a little more than what they were punished for, but not enough that Roger Gooddell couldn't sweep it under the carpet. So that ends that. Now what's next for Spygate?
• Meet your new most-hated man in Boston: John Tomase of the Boston Herald. John Tomase, the guy that looks like his sources all came from the World of Warcraft, was the writer who "broke" the story the #@$! day before the Superbowl about the Patriots taping a walkthrough of the Rams with his 1 whole source. I know times have changed a bit, but in my college journalism class, it was grilled into me that I needed three sources for a story, especially one where allegations were involved.
• Dale Arnold HAAAAATTTTTEEEESSSSS John Tomase right now and he's having a very difficult time saying it without actually saying it. And I liked the fact that Michael Holley, a former journalist, now puff piece sports book writer, took the Herald to task for it.
• Right now, it's 2:30pm on Tuesday, and Gregg Easterbrook, Bob Kravitz, Mike Fish, and so many others are getting ready to write their "They still cheated and should be stoned to death like the blasphemous sons of whores that they are" columns. Their saving grace is that Senator Arlen Specter just spit up his Tapioca pudding when he heard Roger Gooddell say that nothing new was learned about taping signals and will surely come out to denounce the Patriots tomorrow. He will subsequently work day and night to get a bill ratified that will officially recognize the Philadelphia Eagles as Superbowl Champions.
• 2:35 PM, still no story of any kind about the SpyGate press conference on the Boston Herald website. But of course it couldn't bump more important stories off the front page like this gem: "Vatican: It's OK to Believe in Aliens" (I'm not even making that up). According to the new anti-Herald Dale Arnold, they didn't even send someone to New York for the press conference. Wonder why?
  

2. NFL Draft - Is there anything more over hyped than the NFL draft? I did watch the first round (though to be honest I flipped over and watched Glory...one of those movies that when you click by it, you're obligated to watch...kind of like Schindler's List and Roadhouse). I'm pretty happy the first round times were cut to speed it up. It was almost worth watching 5 people on the ESPN set talk nonsense about players they are currently mis-reading. I think Mel Kiper is the sports equivalent of a New England meteorologist. He's wrong constantly, but occasionally even the weather guy will call for a sunny day that is.

3. I thought the Patriots did well in the draft for what that's worth. I had been holding out hope that Chris Long would somehow fall to the Chiefs at #5 and the Patriots would deal for him, which is apparently what they were hoping as well. But Mayo was a good pick. The downside is that I can't watch Monday Night Countdown any more after games where May has a sack or interception because I really don't think I'm up for the next 10 years worth of Chris Berman "Hold the Mayo" jokes. And I felt really good every time they showed the top 10 pick board with the teams' respective 2007 records. That was just gravy.

4. A nice surprising and refreshing change of pace was this week's NFL power rankings (coincidence that Sportsline, ESPN, and SI.com all came out with them this week?). Instead of the "well the SB champs are #1 until someone knocks them off" nonsense, everyone put the Giants around #5. Well done. The Evil Patriots are #1, ensuring the hatred of every non-Patriots fan will continue to boil right through opening weekend (no national Patriots game? They have a 16 game winning streak on the line, were AFC Champs, and not national game. We'll call it even for the Patriots allowing a guy on IR to practice back in 2001, which was a revelation from Matt Walsh today).

5. Does anyone else get the feeling that we're going to remember the 2008 Bruins playoffs more warmly than the 2008 Boston Celtics post season?

6. I love Bill Russell. Let me get that out of the way. BUT...you're as proud of Kevin Garnett as you are of your own children? Does that mean when you take them to games, that at the end of the third quarter they stand up and tell you they're leaving? And what does that mean that you'll share one of your championships with him? Will he get a ring from you? Does Paul Pierce now start feeding Tommy Heinsohn a bottle of Jack before each game (to go with the one he finishes before half time) so that maybe he'll get the same offer? And what if Larry Bird told Ray Allen he was as proud of him as his kids? How would Ray Ray respond to that from the guy who only acknowledged his daughter when he wrote her name on support checks? Yeah...I went there. Love Larry Bird the basketball player and he'll always be my favorite...I probably won't nominate him for father of the year though. Of course he seems to be a notch above Karl Malone (check out ESPN.com's Jemele Hill's column on Karl's relationship with his kids from other mothers...not so heartwarming).

7. One more thing on SpyGate. I guess I should have seen this coming. John Tomase wraps up the most hated man in Boston. But, Black Ops Commander Ernie Adams will be the media punching bag until he agrees to come out from under deep cover to explain his role with the Patriots. He's the one that received the tapes, and it's been speculated for a long time now that he does the dirty work for our evil overlord Bill Belichick.

8. 60% of the 35000+ people who voted on ESPN.com dissaprove of the recent handling of SpyGate by the NFL. If you had the New England States as the only states that would vote for "yes", you would be wrong. Michigan has our back baby!! I guess when your team is the Lions but there is a winning team with a star Michigan quarterback, it's time to hitch a ride on the Evil Patriots bandwagon.

9. Is it blasphemous for me to secretly wish for two straight Red Sox seasons where they finish in last place so that that bandwagon will clear out a little? Possibly my biggest pet peeve of the last 10 years is the whole notion of "Red Sox Nation" which started as a goof fan-based movement because of how many transplants that can't afford to live in this !@#$ state any more show up to away games. When they started selling membership cards for it, I (taking a note from the SportsGuy) "threw up in my mouth". When they held a rigged election for President of Red Sox Nation, no one was surprised that massively over-exposed, shameless self-promoter, Jerry Remy got the gig. Even then I was letting it go. But then Jordan Furniture put out their ridiculously impossible sweepstakes commercial where they have to not only make the world series again this year, but also sweep whoever they play, and used Jerry Remy (as Red Sox Nation president) to call whichever brother that is that didn't know it was time to retire, and beg "on behalf of Red Sox Nation" to extend the sweepstakes another week. Since the first time I hear the term Red Sox Nation (it was 1999, the road trip that ended with Pedro striking out 17 in Yankee Stadium), I have never introduced myself as a member because it's the equivalent of putting a pink hat on my head. But, that commercial was the nail in the coffin for me. I haven't been to a game since 2005 (because the tickets that used to be available now go to the prospective clients of John Hancock Insurance and the friends of Citizens Bank). So I figure that two straight years of last place finishes should clean out all of the people who go to the game so that they can call their friends on the cell phones and wait for the wave to get to their section.

10. Tony Dungy is an ass. We get it. You're a man of high moral character that does everything the "right way" all the time. But even the sanctimonious jackasses of the world start to rub people the wrong way when their self-righteousness becomes elitist judging of others for not striving to be as morally superior as yourself.

Thanks for checking in and I'm promising "for realz" that there the updates will be more frequent and no doubt I'll have plenty more on SpyGate tomorrow when the columnists dismiss today's events to call for the banishment of Belichick from coaching ever again.

Also thanks to all of the readers that emailed me with thoughts, questions, and threats if I didn't post something soon. Your warm wishes and fear-mongering tactics brought me here today.

Thoughts on Free Agency, Spygate, and now Favre

First, let me apologize for not having an update last week. The flu swept through the Evil Patriots Compound and showed no mercy.

Now that we're just about through the first big wave of free agency, it's time to see where the Patriots stand:

Gone:
Asante Samuel - was there ever any question that he was going to be playing for another team in 2008? "I just want a chance to be able to win and get back to the Super Bowl," Samuel said. "That's why I picked the Philadelphia Eagles." I'm looking forward to the first time the Patriots play the Eagles and Tom Brady makes him jump routes all day long. It's a shame they couldn't retain him, but the 6 years $57 million that he got from the Eagles will be better spent elsewhere.
Randall Gay - Gone to the Saints, Gay will no doubt get some time in the first season there, get hurt, then start two more games for the rest of his career. I am not sorry to see him go.

Donte Stallworth - The Browns made a big splash in the last week and got Stallworth, who should be better in Cleveland as the #1 or #2 than he had a chance to be here as the #3. Like Samuel, Stallworth was pretty much a given to be with another team in 2008. The Patriots won't have to do much to replace Stallworth's production, probably by resigning Jabar Gaffney.
Coming & Staying
Randy Moss - I'm a little curious to see if the coaches can spend the offseason to figure out how to get Randy Moss open again. It should be a little alarming that he was largely ineffective (unless you count double-coverage on one guy an advantage for the Patriots). He'll be worth all $27 million over the 3 years though, and I'm sure will help ease the fears of us who are continuing to see a weakened defense get weaker.

Tedy Bruschi - I love Tedy...but if he's out there for more than 15-20 plays per game next season, it means the Patriots defense is in trouble. He's a low risk signing for certain since he always seems to take the modest contract, so in the end it's a good signing for the football smarts, but not a big one.

Kelly Washington - sure..why not.

Lonie Paxton - thank God our long snapping is secure for another year...

Sam "Don't call me Clay" Aiken - The former Bills receiver will be a good special teams guy

Overall, it's pretty blah. Of course last year they made the big initial splash with Adalius Thomas, who should be a lot better this year. They haven't signed anyone significant that wasn't on the team last year, but did lose Samuel, Stallworth, and Gay. Typically, the Patriots do their best in the 2nd wave of free agency and pick up those utility guys that are dropped from other rosters. By the way, I'm very happy we won't be seeing Zach Thomas here next year. We didn't need a slower Tedy Bruschi. Hopefully they'll get Junior Seau to come back for another year, but who knows with the surfer dude.

As I was typing this, Brett Favre just retired. A moment of silence please...

Favre was undoubtedly one of the most exciting players to watch in the last 10 years and he'll be missed, especially by football bobbleheads over 45. But it's time for the Aaron Rogers era to begin!!! Don't let the fact that the Broncos (Elway) and Dolphins (Marino) failed miserably in finding a replacement that wouldn't crumble under the pressure of being the "successor" get you down.

SpyGate - give Matt Walsh his freakin immunity, get the "evidence" he has and lets get this thing done. If there isn't some kind of story to report on this, every single talk show host wonders the following day what happened to "spygate"? This is beyond ridiculous. No one even seems to care about taping of signals anymore. It's now all about taping the practice before the Superbowl against the Rams. So the guy either has tape or not. Seems pretty simple.

One last thing. Is there any question that Ty Law will be suiting up for the Patriots next season? Of course not.

Reflection Time

First, I apologize for not posting in the days after the Superbowl. It was a weird few days. If I had to compare it to something it would be like the feeling of calmness you have after several bad things happen almost in succession in your life (like you get a letter saying you owe back taxes, then look up to see your significant other complain about the car making bad noises, then hear a crash as you realize your step-son has just destroyed a hutch by assuming his weight could be supported by holding on to the small glass doors that enclose it). When it's one thing at a time you can get upset. But when it's several things almost at once, then you just smile and a wave of eerie calm pours over you as you grab a beer from the fridge and sit down in your most comfortable chair and put it completely out of your mind for 5 minutes.

That's how I felt about the Superbowl. There was so much garbage with spygate, perfection chatter, and hyperbole that all came crashing down when the game was over that all I could do was smile deliriously.

Now that it's been a few days, it's time to "move on" as Belichick said with 2 seconds left on the clock.

In the end, I enjoyed this season immensely. It was a thrilling ride and the climax was a Greek tragedy. But there is a light at the end of that tunnel.

The Patriots were one Asante Samuel interception away from winning the Superbowl. There will be some big changes in the offseason, but there is no reason to assume we won't be seeing the Patriots go deep in the playoffs again next season.

Until then we have the Celtics and Red Sox to cheer on (even if KG and Schilling aren't exactly making us feel warm and fuzzy right now).

I'll be updating the blog as news comes up throughout the offseason, so I hope you'll check back periodically. Evil Patriots was a much more successful blog than I thought possible because of all of you visiting and commenting throughout the season.

I will definitely be posting once per week, so if you enjoyed the blog, I'd encourage you to check back or subscribe to the RSS feed.

Evil Vanquished

If you're too young to know what all the whining was about regarding the 86 Red Sox...well now you know.

Unlike every other game this year where the Patriots were down at some point in the second half, I never felt like they were really going to win this game. For a brief moment when they scored their final touchdown, I felt like things were setting themselves right in the universe and the Patriots would shut down the Giants for the win. Just incredible really.

A few quick hits:

1. The Giants were the best team this post season and got better every single game.
2. Eli was as good as Brady was bad on 3rd down.
3. Goats: Matt Light, Brady, Ellis Hobbs
4. Everything was un-Patriots like - penalties, bad play calling, bend and then break defense in the end, inaccurate throws, you name it.
5. If the Patriots had won, Wes Welker (who tied Deion Branch's SB record with 11 catches) would have been the MVP.
6. Pretty much everyone who is headed to the Pro Bowl next week from the Patriots came up small tonight.
7. It was a great season regardless. If you can avoid media of any kind in the next week, you'll come around to feeling that way too.


Reasons this loss was worse than the 86 Red Sox:

1. Mercury Morris has a platform to gloat on again
2. The entire country will see this as a karma thing.
3. Best Team Ever become cautionary tale.
4. 19-0, 4 in 7 years, best QB in history....all gone.
5. Losing to a New York team
6. Ditka, Easterbrook, Plaschke, Norman Chad, Dr. Z, and many more
7. It's difficult to gloat about an evil team when they get vanquished.


That's it for me tonight. Good season. Spring Training is right around the corner.

Hear Lots of Evil See Lots of Evil

It's the Saturday before the Superbowl. All of the tired story lines are being put to bed and everyone is now exhausted and just ready to get this game going. Ex-players and current players seem to be picking the Giants a lot more than the media members are, which is not surprising because they're awful at analyzing other teams.

But just before the game gets under way, there is a giant wet blanket set to drop on the Patriots' instead of confetti if they win tomorrow. You can be certain that ESPN editors will be setting half its writers on the "winning the Superbowl" plot line, while the other half will be spending even more hours on the new angle of SpyGate that has been opened with the tapioca-eating Senator from Pennsylvania (a member of the Warren Commission who certainly knows about covering things up).

A month from now there will finally be enough pressure on former Patriots' video assistant Matt Walsh (heretofore referred to as Benedict Arnold) to provide whatever evidence he has of taping the Rams' walkthrough in Superbowl XXXVI and whatever else he can talk about.

If taping the Jets in week 1 was the start of a moral outrage and asterisk campaign, how do you think this will end?

The good news? The World Champion Red Sox will be in training camp by the time that happens.

But for now, I'm putting this out of my mind, will certainly ignore Joe Buck's 50 references to it tomorrow, and will enjoy the game. After that, this Evil Patriots Blog will grow more powerful than you can possibly imagine...because it looks like we'll be able to make it relevant during the entire off season.

I was initially disappointed in this whole thing from yesterday...now I'm embracing it and riding the big "eff you" all the way to another Superbowl win.

In an ideal world, NFL Films would capture Tom Brady at the end of the tunnel turning to his teammates and yelling "You tell them I'm coming! And hell's coming with me!" as he runs out leading his team into the lion's den of hatred and vitriol.

So embrace your inner Evil Patriot and root for the dynasty tomorrow to take everyone down with them....

Breakdown and Prediction for Superbowl XLII

Everyone knows that the Patriots are “beatable.” There has existed a “blueprint” for beating them since they played the Colts in Week 9. The Giants have won 10 straight road victories, which, according to some columnists, make them the hottest team in the league. 99% of the columns you’ve seen this week have been on how the Giants can beat the Patriots. So here below are the factors that the Patriots probably have to execute to win the game. Why only probably? Because they prove time and again that they can find new, surprising ways to win and the Giants are playing a road game, which means they can execute the blueprint by playing the most flawless game in the history of the NFL.

1. Mindset: The Patriots are supernaturally focused, unbelievably well prepared, and are obsessively driven on doing their job. The Patriots have been in Superbowl-like pressure games since Week 9 and have a ton of guys that have already been to, and won Superbowls. The Giants have three guys who have been to a Superbowl.

2. Control the Line of Scrimmage. In the regular season match up, the Giants recorded 1 sack while Brady completed 32/42 passes for 356 yards, 2 TD and 0 INT. They did that with the Pats starting right tackle and starting right guard out for that game. They are both back and will be better at handling the outside rushers. Left Tackle Matt Light will be matched up against Osi Umenyiora, which is a match up in favor of the Giants. One thing the Patriots like to do is use Kevin Faulk in the backfield for protection on Brady's weak side, and then roll him out for a short screen pass. This delays Osi, and it opens Faulk up just past the defender. If the Giants don't bring extra defenders from Brady's weak side (left side) you can expect to see a lot of screens to Faulk and Maroney.

3. Moss Factor: Randy Moss has problems getting off the line of scrimmage when he's manhandled, which I’m sure comes as a great shock to you. The Giants beat him up in their match up, as did the Jaguars and Chargers in the playoffs. We've all noticed offensive holding is no longer being called in the NFL, and the same can be said for defensive holding that occurs in the first 5 yards from scrimmage, which is what you have seen in replays on how Moss gets held off his routes. I have no statistical evidence to suggest Moss will come up big here, but it’s his first Superbowl and on the biggest stage, I don’t see him quitting on routes or allow corners to clutch and grab him at the line through the whole game. But if the Giants do contain him that means they rolled safety coverage to him and opened up the game for ultra-speedy Welker (on turf now) underneath, and Stalworth down the sidelines.

4. Environment. The Patriots have not played in weather above 45 degrees since Week 9 at Indy. Many of their road/home games featured high winds, including the regular season finale, and both playoff games in Foxboro. Why is that important? Because you can't air it out 40+ yards when the wind is swirling at the Meadowlands or Gillette Stadium. But in the wind-less, warm confines of the dome in Arizona, Brady will be in the same kind of environment he enjoyed for the first 9 weeks of the season. Remember what happened then? In addition to weather, the crowds at the Superbowl who can afford $1000+ for tickets are notoriously quiet. There will be no noise factor such as the one in the week 17 match up to force Brady to go to a silent count. This opens up the audible and communicating blitz reads clearer.

5. Take Away the Giants’ Strength. If you were to sum up how Belichick game plans for opponents you could just say “he will take away whatever it is that you do best.” How did the Patriots attack the Giants a month ago? They took away the strength of the Giants offense by limiting Brandon Jacobs to 66 yards on 15 attempts. This time Ahmad Bradshaw is back and should help build up those numbers if the Giants choose to go that route. Remember that Eli had the game of his life, passing for 251 yards with 4 TD's and 1 ill-timed interception on 22/32 attempts. Can he duplicate those numbers? Not with a game plan formulated over two weeks to disguise defensive packages and confuse Eli.

6. Red Zone defense. The Patriots are back to playing the kind of defense they did in winning Superbowls in 2001, 2003, and 2004. They "Bend but don't break." This means that offenses will get their yards against them, and if they don't make any stupid mistakes (turnovers, penalties), they'll get in the red zone. But the red zone is where the Patriots have excelled in the last half of the season and in the playoffs. Why? Because you have your very talented and smart, but also old/slow linebackers playing in a smaller field which allows them to cover everyone. The Patriots will be happy to give you the field goal, because they feel they can score touchdowns every time they get in your red zone.

7. Coaching. Check.

8. Intangibles. Brady or Manning down 7, with 2 minutes left in the 4^th quarter with the ball on their own 20. Which QB do you want?

9. Opponent had their game of the year against you and they still lost? Check.

Here is how I see this game playing out:

1^st Quarter: The Patriots and Giants are both limited on offense, but the Patriots will get one TD by the end of the quarter. The Giants will own time of possession by running Jacobs and Bradshaw and mixing in short passes. They will likely get a field goal out of one of their two drives. 7-3 Patriots

2^nd Quarter: The Patriots go to a hurry up offense (this could happen from the start) and score 10 points in this quarter. The Giants also score a touchdown to keep it close at the half. 17-10 Patriots.

3^rd Quarter: The Patriots adjust to the pressure and coverage schemes and strike quick and often. The Giants continue to have success in the running game and short routes, but aren’t getting anything over the top. By the end of the quarter the Giants are down 21 points and will be forced to abandon the run, culminating in an INT at the end of the quarter for Eli. 31-10 Patriots.

4^th Quarter: The Patriots shove Laurence Maroney down their throats, mixing in a couple of deep balls (1 or 2 being successful). Bradshaw takes a quick screen and turns it into a long touchdown run to give them some hope. Then the Patriots give the ball back to Maroney and Faulk, take 8 minutes off the clock and finish it off with a jump ball to Moss in the end zone. Giants don’t get a garbage time touchdown as Junior Seau forces a fumble of Eli and the Patriots recover, run once or twice, then kneel down. As they look up at the scoreboard and see Patriots 38 Giants 17, Belichick turns to Director of Personnel Scott Pioli to start discussing what to do with the #7 overall pick in the draft and who to target in free agency.

MVP: Tom Brady

X-Factor: Donte Stalworth

Enjoy the game. It won’t happen like that at all because no one ever seems to be right in how these things play out. But it should be a fun game. If the Giants pull off the upset, nothing will hurt as much as seeing an orgasmic Mercury Morris rap his way to bashing the Patriots. But if the Patriots win, the nation of Patriots’ haters will turn into those zombies from 28 Weeks Later, foam at the mouth, and rage against the cheating, classless, dirty players from New England. And that would make me happy most of all.

Greatest Ever Discussions

Before I get into the title subject, Mike & Mike are on TV playing up the importance of the fact that the Giants stepped off the plane all wearing black suits. The Patriots upset the Rams in 2001 by choosing to be introduced by a team, but whoah, a whole week before the SuperBowl the Giants are dressing all in the same color (to be accurate a number of them had dark gray on). Game over man, put my money down on the Giants. Fortunately Golic wasn't quite as caught up in it as sports romantic Greeny.

Clark Judge at CBSportsline.com has one of the better "Is Brady the Best QB of All Time?" columns today, because he gets some good varied input from GM's, former players, and old cranky sportswriters, to weigh in with their opinions. I like it because the hyperbole is kept at a minimum, except where Judge adds in his own quips. So it's definitely worth a read, but it keeps reminding me of the hyperbole in the past years regarding the evil disrespectful Tom Brady.

Here is what columnists were saying:

February 2002: "The day of The Catch in January 1982, the day the San Francisco 49ers made it to their first Super Bowl, the day Joe Montana threw to Dwight Clark, Tom Brady was a toddler in the stands. And now, 20 years later, when the New England Patriots win their first Super Bowl, Tom Brady has in effect become the new Joe Montana. He got what he wanted."
Nutshell: Brady reminds people of Montana, because he's cool. He's not a top QB yet though

February 2004: "OK, that's it. I can't take it anymore," writes Rick Morrissey of the Chicago Tribune. "Tom Brady is not John Elway or Joe Montana. He's somewhere in the Phil Simms stratum, a very nice place to be but a place where you have to crane your neck to see the mountaintop. . . ."
Nutshell: Backlash time as people drool over Brady winning his 2nd SB MVP, and start making over-the-top "Brady vs Montana" comparisons. Brady vs Manning now a toss-up with the rings getting Brady an edge for writers, but players give Manning the edge for stats.

February: 2005: Sporting News rates Peyton Manning the 15th best QB of all time. Brady comes in at 19th.
Nutshell: Sporting News Magazine, already declared dead years before, publishes this list that no one ever sees because no one subscribes to the Sporting News and in 2005 they were charging for this kind of exclusive content. Since they were charging, I have no idea who is in the top 10 outside of the obvious candidates. Brady had just won his 3rd Superbowl with his greatest statistical performance, and he started getting a little separation on the Brady vs Manning debate because he was up 3 rings to none. Of course plenty of people still sided with Peyton because he just put up the greatest QB season of all time with 49 TD's and the best passer rating ever. So the points remained the same, but the play of both elevated them even higher.

February 2007: Vinnie Iyer on Brady and his ranking at SN's Greatest #19: "If you look at Brady's regular seasons, they are pretty good, but his three rings are what have him at 19th, or 21 spots ahead of another pretty good regular-season quarterback, Donovan McNabb. For that matter, I think Brady should be in the top dozen."
Nutshell: Manning wins his first Superbowl, almost completely squashing the angle that Brady proponents held up in the debate. No mentions of Brady as an all-timer this year because he isn't in the Superbowl. Brady, according to Vinnie Iyer, is in the top 12. Most people at this point have Brady and Manning both firmly in the top 6 or 7. Some old people bring up Otto Graham and Sammy Baugh, which then causes Manning/Brady to fall two places. Several people start projecting Manning as the best ever, which had been happening in smaller doses for the past three years.

January 2008: Mike Martz: ""Tom Brady will be at the pinnacle of all those who ever played," said former head coach Mike Martz, now the offensive coordinator in San Francisco."
Jerry McGee of the San Diego-Tribune: "I like (Brady) better than Unitas because Unitas couldn't throw the ball like Brady. And I like him over Montana because I think Brady has a better arm and cerebrally is Montana's equal."
Nutshell: There is no article mentioning a Brady vs Manning debate. When the Colts lost to the Chargers in the Divisional Round, it cost us a week of chest-beating grunts from Bob Kravitz and others. But it wouldn't have mattered. There is only one debate left raging right now...Is Brady the best QB of all time? Mike Martz is given to hyperbole and has always been a Brady fan, but I was shocked to see how many people are putting him in the debate. No one can agree on who to compare him with of course (Montana, Unitas, Graham, Marino, and Favre seem to be the most popular candidates, in that order). NFL Live today brought it up several times today. People who last year would have taken Manning over Brady (Merrill Hoge, Mike Golic, and Ron Jaworski for starters) are now on the fence whether to put him over Montana or just alongside him.

Of course, the difference between last year and this year is that Brady has trumped Manning for the best ever season by a QB, led his team to an 18-0 record (19-0 if you're a time traveller like the Boston Globe's book publishing department), and is on the verge of winning his 4th Superbowl. The stats defenders of Manning have lost some mojo in the same way Brady rings defenders lost some mojo in that debate in 2007.

Here is what I think:

It's a stupid question with no answer for obvious reasons. First, comparing eras is fine if you all agree on the rules. No one does and they make up them up as they go along to support their preconceived notions. Second, the free agency factor has become way overblown. While a team could stay together for a number of years in the 70's to build a dynasty, it also meant that they didn't have the opportunity to upgrade like the Patriots do now.

The real question is, what does it mean to be the best QB of all time?

How much do you weigh...
1. Win totals
2. Postseason win totals
3. Superbowl appearances
4. Superbowl wins
5. MVP Awards
6. SB MVP Awards
7. HOF receiver to throw to
8. HOF running back for defenses to gameplan for
9. Passing Yards
10. Passer Rating
11. Number of TD Passes
12. Number of Interceptions
13. Quality of Opponents
14. Pocket Passer vs Gunslinging gambler
15. Did you revolutionize the game?
16. Did you call your own plays?

The list can go on and on, and every one of these 16 arguments has been used to cast a shining light on one columnists favorite over another.

This is why it's a futile argument....for now.

If Brady wins Sunday, continues to perform as the #1 or #2 best QB for the next 5 years, and wins 1 or 2 more SB's (passing everyone on the QB list in that category), then the point will become moot. It will be similar to what happened between 1991, where Bird and Magic were in the discussion for best players ever in the NBA, then 4 or 5 years later Jordan ended the argument.

I love the debate and think about it if you're a Boston sports fan this way. If you are over 35, you got to see:

Bobby Orr (#2 player ever in NHL)
Larry Bird (#3 or #4 ever in NBA)
Roger Clemens/Pedro Martinez (regardless of roids, both in the top 5 ever)
Tom Brady (Top 5 or 6 now consensus, with real potential for #1 in 5 years)

What other city can say that they saw the 4 main sports played at their highest level?

No one, and it's just one of the 100 reasons the rest of the country hates us.

Thoughts While Waiting the 6 Days 30 minutes 14 Seconds until Kickoff

It's the Monday of Superbowl Week so here comes the inane commentary...

• There is no shortage of current players that are sitting in for expert analysis of the Superbowl match up. 100% of them did absolutely no research of any kind before sitting down and it's shown so far. Donovan McNabb, D'Brickshaw Ferguson, Jay Feely are all featured on ESPN today to tell us things like "You have to get pressure on Brady", "Eli's at the top of his game coming in" and "The Giants are playing good right now so I think they'll get the upset." You have to have scored real low on the wonderlic test to be out-dueled by Skip Bayless, as McNabb was today.

• By the way, Dana Jacobson of ESPN's First Take just did a big apology for her "F*** Notre Dame...F*** Jesus" drunken tirade at the Mike & Mike Roast (why such a roast ever exsisted is another story). I heard it and thought it was the "lynch Tiger" woman from the Golf Channel. Considering no one ever watched Cold Pizza and very few people watch ESPN First Take (mostly because of Skip Bayless), this could only have been good for Dana's career since it's the first time anyone is talking about her. Apparently she was suspended, but who would have noticed?
  

• As an aside, I have just now received express written permission from Al Sharpton, Scoop Jackson, and Jim Brown to be able to suggest that someone should lynch Skip Bayless.
  

• I'm enjoying the new "dirty" moniker that the Patriots are being given (notice I didn't saying "earning"). When linemen accuse other linemen of being dirty, former players laugh their asses off. Why? Because every lineman plays dirty. Every lineman throws punches on the bottom of a pile, steps on feet, and pokes people in the eye. It's always happened and always will. That's why people like Mark Schlereth and Mike Golic burst out laughing when they hear about Seymour or Matt Light playing dirty.

• On that note, Congratulations to Vince Wilfork, Evil Patriot of the Year. Vince clinched this award by receiving his fourth fine of the season this week, a dubious face masking infraction. Well done Vince. If this were the Masters, Rodney Harrison would be helping you into your green jacket as we speak. Early candidates for next year's award are Seymour, Light, and a sleeper pick in Logan Mankins.

• Mike Sando at ESPN.com devotes an entire story to Richard Seymour's alleged classlessity.

• The Evil Patriots Blog got a mention on Eric Wilbur's Boston.com blog this weekend. Nice to see all of this extra time on the 'puter isn't going to waste. Thanks Eric! I take back everything I ever said about you in the past or will say in the future.

• This "factoid that may only interest me" from Peter King's MMQP column today sums up the case for whether it's worth investing the 10 minutes: "I did not want the moment to pass without noting that the hiring of the new Falcons' coach, Michael Smith, was broken by Michael Smith of ESPN.com."

• My gut feeling this week is that the trademark "wrinkle" for a Patriots' superbowl gameplan will feature Troy Brown heavily. You heard it here first.
  

• You know how old men look in their caskets during a wake when they cake the makeup on them to make them look "fresh" but end up just making them look like Liberace? Well that's Bob Ryan every time he appears on PTI, Around the Horn, and especially the Sports Reporters. My god Bob, tone it down a bit, you look like a cross between Bela Lugosi and every guy from Amadeus. By the way, if you're under 30 substitute Clay Aiken for Liberace and Tom Cruise in Interview with a Vampire for Bela Lugosi.

• Now that I think about it, Dana Jacobson does have a small amount of milf-appeal. I'd put her just behind Rachel "Goth Princess" Nichols on the ESPN Hittability Rankings of which I just made up and only include those two so far. You have to assume that when Rachel Nichols goes out on the town, she hits the goth clubs dressed in lots of black suede, black silk, and black painted fingernails right?

• Don Shula will be jumping up and down in the stadium if the Giants win. Does he ever turn down a request for an interview? I think he's on a quest to out-jackass Mercury Morris.

• My favorite "real" prop-bet that I've heard so far is whether Tom Petty will spark up a joint during the half-time show. A $1 bet will get you $2500 if you win. Of course if it were simply "will Tom Petty be stoned during the half time show" you would probably have to bet $4500 to win $1.

• Speaking of Superbowl betting, how many people do you think are out there that have already made arrangements with their bookie to fork over their $600 tax rebate (that hasn't been approved yet) if the Patriots don't cover? Besides my friend Dale, I'm going to say 50-60 people so far.
  

Interesting Perspective on the Beli-psyche

Tom Monkovic blogs for the New York Times and started a project to incorporate contributions from readers with the simple question of "Who is Bill Belichick?". He got some really good responses from people, but really I'm just posting about this because of one contributor's answer that was just really well done and worth the read. Whether you think it's accurate or not is another question of course.

From Cliff Kuang:

The question “Is BB really a jerk or does he just play one” leads us down the wrong path. It slyly suggests a terrible assumption: That the public persona we see is unsympathetic and that therefore, it must be a ruse if anyone is to like him in private.

But of course, the character traits we see can be used to different ends, for different audiences. So he’s a taciturn, awkward jerk in public. The real question is: What could motivate that jerkiness, but then also inspire so much love in his players? (And his players do love him, above and beyond the simple gratitude that you might hold towards a thoroughbred that’s just won your Derby ticket.)

So here’s my take. BB’s adversarial persona shows us that he needs enemies to stay motivated. It is what motivates him when there is nothing left to prove. No big insight there.

But here’s the thing that people miss: People that foster a deep-seated “me vs. the world” mentality often are extremely gifted at bringing certain people in close to them – and in so doing, it brings other people inside the bubble. Think of all the people you know that make you say: “Yeah, he seems like a boner. But you don’t know him like I know him, and he’s amazing.”

So how does BB bring people close to him? He’s not a naturally warm person, that much is clear. But I’ve known very cold people who are also extremely fair and generous. And here’s the thing: They know that *in virtue* of that iciness, their kind acts are magnified into great significance. Those acts can become almost like a secret two people share.

If you listen closely to his comments about the team, you can see that he’s fiercely loyal to every last member of the team. It isn’t that hard to imagine that every comment he makes to every member of the team is well thought out, perhaps even crafted to that player’s personal needs, whether they’re up or down. If someone that everyone else hates or fears does that for you a couple times, you might become crazy-loyal too.

So why might he be so secretive about his kinder side?
If he shares an affection, he wants to know that affection won’t lead to people taking advantage of him or undermining him. Ergo, he only deploys it in situations where he feels comfortable and in control. That is, in situations where he commands the utmost loyalty.

Cliff later posted another thought:
A point I want to add to my previous comment: The framework I laid out gives us a rationale for why he cheated.

People that view themselves as being at odds with the world can easily rationalize bending rules, even breaking them. If you set your world view up so that you stand outside the circles where other people travel, then in some ways you don’t truly internalize their outside viewpoints. That is, you don’t really care if some of Them think you’re wrong.

And what’s more, BB is acting all this out from the confines of a distinct community: His team. So I think in his mind, there’s something complex at work. Basically, I think he views it as: I’ll do anything to help My Guys, because they’re so loyal to me.

What’s that do for him, and his ability to sleep at night? It turns the simple act of cheating into a communal attitude – and preserves BB himself from seeing his actions as merely craven. It might even turn a wormy action into something that — in his mind — is worth getting self-righteous about. BB not only isn’t sorry that he cheated, he thinks he did right by the only people that matter to him: His team.

Boston Sports Conspiracy!

This is a pretty funny video for the tin foil hat crowd on the cheating and underhandedness that runs rampant in Boston sports. He probably shouldn't have shown the Celtics when complaining about a lack of criticism when they spend huge amounts of money to get players since there is a salary cap and all. It would have been much better if he just did a shady McHale acting as a double-agent in getting the deal done.

Hyperbole Full Steam Ahead

Now that bootgate is over, the big hyperbole story of the moment is the status of Eli Manning as franchise quarterback and how everyone in the country was wrong for doubting him in the first place.

Here's a quote that pretty much sums up the goofiness of this argument:

"Everybody [else] is all surprised," New York Giants wide receiver Amani Toomer said about Manning's arrival as a Super Bowl quarterback. "I don't think anybody in this locker room is surprised how well he's playing. Everybody knew he could be that type of quarterback. Now, he's living up to everybody's expectation."

Here is what Amani is saying, broken down:

1. Everybody [else] is all surprised - No one expected him to play this well.
2. Everybody (in the locker room) knew he could be that type of quarterback - He's never been that type of quarterback before but we had a good hunch that he could eventually play at that level.
3. Now he's living up to everybody's expectations - well those in the locker room anyway who, as Toomer says, never saw him play that well but knew he could. But for everybody else in the country that "is all surprised", we also knew he could play that well, but until now had never seen evidence of it.

He was the overall #1 pick in the NFL draft, so we detractors always had an expectation that he could play this well. Maybe it's more because he has the Manning name, than because of his play in college. Either way, Amani Toomer seems to agree with all of us detractors that Eli didn't play anywhere near this level prior to Week 17 against the Patriots.

Every playoffs has an enormous amount of over-the-top hyperbole and here are the examples that are already out there and what we can expect to see over the next two weeks:

1. Eli is a greater playoff quarterback than Peyton - not exactly a large body of work to compare with, but that won't stop people from writing it.

2. Eli is hotter than Brady heading into the Superbowl - this is already getting enough play and some backlash has started to regain perspective but lets take a look at the only "perception is reality" argument that comes from Sunday's games.

Manning 21/40 254 yards 0 TD 0 INT
Brady 22/33 209 yards 2 TD 3 INT

Now, the obvious thing that stands out is that Brady had 3 INT to Manning's 0 which is a clear indication that Manning was better on Sunday. But how much better? Eli completed barely 50% of his passes and threw 0 TD's. Brady completed 66% of his passes and had two touchdowns that were critical. I'll still say that Brady's 3 INT negates the advantages in TD's and completion %, but you'd think Brady was utterly awful and Manning was phenomenal by what the media hacks are writing. What you see in Manning right now, is the 2001 Tom Brady...neither spectacular nor awful, but very efficient and mistake-free. But Tom Brady plays at a level now where his Sunday performance is viewed as horrible and reason for concern in comparison. So I think we have to go back a week to find out where the separation is for Eli being the hotter QB:

Manning 12/18 163 yards 2TD 0INT
Brady 26/28 262 yards 3TD 0INT

I don't know about you but I don't see where Eli is hotter this week either. He is continuing a streak of mistake-free football (of course throwing the ball 18 times doesn't create a lot of opportunities for mistakes).

All-in-all, I'd say they both played very well in the Divisional Round (Brady better), and mediocre in the Championship round (Manning better). And then ask yourself, "which QB do you want heading into this Superbowl" taking into consideration how they've both played in these playoffs? I'm thinking the majority of the country would take Brady. Just a hunch...of course I was a detractor of Eli's.

3. The Patriots NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS are not the best team ever - this is already making the rounds because it's the typical backlash to the season-long hyperbole argument that, yes, the Patriots are the best team ever. What I love about this debate is the fact that prior to the Patriots entering the argument, no one ever mentioned another team in the conversation outside of the 85 Bears. They were the consensus #1. But now, people who are writing the backlash argument point out the 72 Dolphins, 89 49ers, late 70's Steelers (they cant even pick a season), among those that are probably better than the Patriots and deserve to be #1. It's a ridiculous argument, I don't really care if the Patriots ever end up being the consensus #1, but I would be very happy that 19-0, 4 rings in 7 years, with no other team even appearing in the Superbowl twice during that time, would be indisputable.

4. The Giants know what it takes to beat the Patriots - The Eagles, Colts, and Ravens all said the same thing and really thought they'd be able to do it if only they had a second chance. Well the Giants do now, and they really believe they can do it. And there is no reason to doubt their confidence. However, this statement, so overused this season and now in the playoffs, is like saying "we know what it takes to bring peace to the middle east." Yes, everyone know what it takes, but no one is capable of actually doing it and seeing it all the way through. I know what it takes to beat the Patriots myself, but I'm not allowed to take a 2x4 to Brady's knee. So, although I know how to beat the Patriots myself, I'm not going to do it.

5. Brett Favre is the greatest QB ever - This one has been on the back-burner all season as he piles up more career records, which are great. But, as he showed yet again on Sunday, Brett Favre is also one of the most mind-numbingly-dumb decision makers in the history of the NFL. Everyone loves the Ultimate Warrior, so the criticism is never harsh, no matter if he costs his team their season...why? Because he had fun out there and had the best regular season of his career. Well...do you want Eli in the playoffs or Favre? Me? I want Eli. He may not end up throwing a 50 yard TD, but he also won't throw a 50 yard INT or several of them. The best arm in the history of the game, threw the lamest duck of a pass in OT. He's not the greatest QB in the history of the game, but he's probably around #5. Basically he's Cal Ripken. Great guy, Hall of famer, fun to root for, and durable.

6. The Patriots aren't nearly as good now as they were in October - this is my favorite one. While the Patriots offense is not putting up the points and stats they were in October, their running game has improved dramatically because the weather dictated it. The shutting down of Moss has prevented the quick long strike, but it has resulted in the Patriots dominating time of possession by using the short-to-medium passes to complement the rushing attack, and the defense has improved from being 31st in the league in the red zone in October, to completely shutting down their opponents in the playoffs. They're not giving up the rushing yards they were, and while they still give up the medium passing plays, all of this points to them returning to exactly the style and effectiveness of play that they used to win in 2001, 2003, and 2004. By the way, the Patriots passing juggernaut slowed down as it got windy and cold. They haven't played a game above 40 degrees in that time, but they're going to the warmest, driest, least windy area in the country for the Superbowl. So what game plan will the Giants prepare for? The control-the-clock dink and dunk combined with rushing, or the stretch the field bombs away that only works in a warm, dry climate?

Some other storylines you can expect to see in the next week that aren't getting play yet:
1. Brady is friggin awesome after a bad performance.
2. Belichick has two weeks to gameplan and that's too tough to overcome.
3. Coughlin is a hell of a coach who will be able to offset Belichick's gameplans
4. Kevin Faulk is the MVP of the Patriots
5. The Patriots still deserve an *
6. The Patriots shouldn't be celebrated at all.
7. The 72 Dolphins need to put a Code Red on Mercury Morris to shut him up.

NY Radio Station Offering Bridget Moynahan Masks

Q104.3 in NY is offering downloadable Bridget Moynahan masks for fans to wear at the Superbowl to distract Tom Brady. No doubt this is what will do in the Patriots. This is why we quote the famous proverb from Spaceballs: "Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."

Stay Classy Indianapolis!

The Stupid Flanders Retirement Watch is over! Welcome back Tony! We look forward to seeing more strategic errors in the playoffs next year that will be glossed over because of your glorious piety and quiet strength. Of course this sets back his candidacy for what will surely be a first ballot canonization when he becomes eligible.

AFC Champions!!

It was not a pretty game by any means. The passing offense was almost completely shut down. But the defense was everything you remember about the 2001-2004 editions: give up the yards but stop them cold in the red zone. No touchdowns in the entire game. Unbelievable. Here are some thoughts on the game:

• I think Philip Rivers gained a lot of respect from fans around the league this week that was missing the last several when he was an obnoxious trash-talker. But he played really well considering what he was up against and playing in pain.
• On the flip side....LT. Wow. If he has surgery next week I'll take this back, but how do you not play in this game?
• Rodney Harrison and Junior Seau came up huge in this game. Even again 3rd down linebacker Tedy Bruschi had a pass defensed against Gates.
• Tom Brady was terrible but in the 4th quarter was solid. Just like every game they've been close in over the past two months, the Patriots turned it on and made adjustments in the 4th quarter to separate themselves from their opponents.
• The reverse to Moss, I thought, really jump started the offense. Before that play, San Diego was stuffing the run and getting consistent pressure on Brady. After that play, the holes opened up more and the offensive line gave Brady more time.

As bad as the pass offense was, I think there is a big difference we can talk about for the Superbowl. Warm weather, hardly any wind, 70 degrees, no rain. You can bank on all of those things happening. What does this do? It opens up the Patriots and it takes all of the variables that hinder a pass-oriented offense out of the equation.

They're going to face the Giants again. They played them just four weeks ago. They already know just about everything they need to know about them, including how they were able to play the Patriots so well. And now there is two weeks to formulate a gameplan to fix those problems, plan for the pass rush, and figure out how to get Moss open in space.

The Patriots open as 13.5 point favorites. That probably won't change much. But unlike the past few weeks, where I thought we'd see close games, I think this Superbowl will be a masterpiece that will look nothing like the Week 17 game.

It's going to be a fun two weeks. It's too bad the Ultimate Warrior, the world record holder for career interceptions, couldn't keep up his end of the bargain for the greatest battle of good vs evil. I think the Patriots bandwagon will be getting some new members because who the hell wants to root for the New York Giants?

Mike Freeman at CBSportsline.com gets the nod for writing the first (this week) "The Patriots Look Vulnerable" column. Get used to these kinds of columns and plenty of "they may go 19-0 bu the Patriots have shown that they are vulnerable and therefore not the best team of all time."

Enjoy, we'll have lots of coverage over the next two weeks.

The Anti-Christ Press Conference

Here is a short experiment imagining what the angry Patriots haters of the nation must picture when they hear a Bill Belichick press conference.

Championship Weekend Picks

San Diego @ New England (-13.5) - I'd love to know what the psyche of a typical Chargers player is coming into this game. On one hand you just beat the consensus 2nd best team in the league, but your superstars are so banged up it has to be making you demoralized even a little. It's going to be cold, which means nothing really, but it will be windy (20-25mph winds). I'm a little concerned about the wind as it will allow the mediocre chargers' safeties to move up and interrupt medium "wes welker" routes. But I do expect some more creative play-calling this week to counteract the pass rush, so it should be fun to watch. I expect at least two interceptions from the Patriots defense this week. In the end the Chargers just won't have enough to keep pace on offense (this is almost a cliche now) and the Patriots will win 31-17.

New York @ Green Bay (-6.5) - I said it last week, but I really mean it this week: this is where Eli's road ends. I like the Packers defense a lot more than I did the Cowboys and I think the Ultimate Warrior can escape the rush and pull the typical Favreresque "whoops" plays to pull out a close one. If the Giants somehow pull this off I'll be more worried about them in the superbowl than I will be about the Packers, because it'll mean they're playing out of their heads as opposed to better team beating a weaker team. I'm rooting for the Packers of course to set up the most polarizing superbowl ever. 24-21 Packers.

This is going to be a lot of fun this weekend. Here's hoping this blog is still relevant on Monday!

The 710 ESPN Radio Hatriots Song

I really liked this one. It's the rare "I hate the Patriots" video/song that is actually enjoyable to listen to. It probably would have stuck in my head all day if I didn't already hate all rap music made after 1995 (except Talib Kweli and Mos Def..but that's it).

Who Should the Haters Root For This Weekend?

I think we've reached a difficult point in the season for Patriots haters who, at first glance, would simply root against the Patriots this coming weekend. On the one hand, they want to see the season end with a loss in the worst way, but if it did this weekend, that would mean the new "most obnoxious team in the NFL" would make the Superbowl. But the hatred of the Patriots far out-distances the hatred for the Chargers (maybe except for in Denver where Philip Rivers in public enemy #1).

But, what if, as a jealous Hater, you were to root for the Patriots this weekend and hope the Packers beat the Giants? It would set up the ultimate Good vs Evil battle in the Superbowl. It's safe to say that the networks, 99% of the media, and most fans want to see Packers vs Patriots. Gregg Easterbrook and others are already pondering the poetic showdown.

The story lines for this match up could legitimately fill the 2-week gap between the Championship games and the Superbowl for the first time ever. But even better, you could root for the Ultimate Warrior to take down the Evil Empire and ride off into the sunset with his great blue bull Babe (if there was ever a personification of Paul Bunyan in sports, it would be him right?).

On the other hand...the Patriots are friggin awesome and more likely than not would triumph over the Packers, leaving the legions of haters left feeling sick to their stomachs through the entire off season.

So if you hate the Patriots, do you root for San Diego to take them down now and hope Favre takes out the obnoxious Chargers in the Superbowl? I'm not sure. While you'd feel good about the fact that Favre's Packers have a much better shot of beating the Chargers than the Patriots, you'd forget one thing. The Chargers would have won their last 9 games and would have beaten the Colts and Patriots while banged up. If it ends up being Chargers - Packers, I'd put all my money on the Chargers after what they would have done to get there.

So if it were me, I'd root for the Patriots to win this weekend and set up the showdown and hope for Favre to win. The consolation prize, if the Patriots win it all, is that you'd never have to hear from the '72 Dolphins ever again. No Mercury Morris interviews would be a good thing.

And then one last "oh no" thought. If you roll your eyes a hundred times during every Packers Monday Night Football game because of the gushing over Favre -

"Now take a look at this right here. Only someone like Brett Favre, could escape that pass rush and heave it 45 yards down the field while falling down. Now unfortunately it was intercepted, but boy, you can just tell he's having fun out there, can't you? He's just incredible. No one in the history of the NFL is better at throwing the deep ball while falling down than him. And he's 38, but playing like he's 23!"

- then picture that magnified by 100, and instead of being confined to a 3 hour broadcast and 15 minutes on SportsCenter, imagine it going non-stop for two weeks with nowhere to hide from it. Pretty scary thought right?

So what other alternative is there for the Patriots hater who also hates hearing the old men with man crushes on Brett Favre wax idiotic every time he drops back to pass?

Giants vs. Jaguars. No thanks.

Thoughts from the Saturday Night Victory Over the Jaguars

• CBS' pre-game show had the greatest moment of unintentional comedy this season when J.B. asks Bill Cowher about Tony Romo's off-week trip to Mexico with Jessica Simpson. Cowher: "Well, guys got a chance to get off their feet, relax..." Dan Marino almost completely lost it and a minute later Cowher nearly did as well.

• David Garrard is a very good quarterback. He makes great decisions, is extremely accurate, and his ability to escape the pocket was on display all night while still being able to make a good throw. If I were ranking QB's right now I might stick him at #4 behind Brady, Manning, and Favre, just ahead of Tony Romo. He's going to be really good if they get him some receivers.

• It was a scoring play on the first drive of the first half. First half timeouts are almost always meaningless. Why not throw the flag? I've heard local guys say they thought it was a good idea not to throw the flag because it was so close but if you stop the replay when the shin is on the ground, he clearly still has the ball.

• The defense was obviously set up to stop the run and they did an effective job of it. Of course the Jaguars had a great gameplan to throw the ball and ate up Randall Gay and Asante Samuel. Randall Gay showed why he's not a starter, but I can't blame Samuel on a couple of those routes he was beaten on because he had a big zone to manage and was almost never working on the guy who was being thrown the ball. Some bad tackling in the first half, but much better tackling in the second half. Still hate the forearm shiver as the method of tackling.

• Evil Disrespectful Tom Brady was phenomenal. And I'd like to say that I predicted we'd see the "dink and dunk" offense for this game two weeks ago! My picks are awful, so I'm going to take full credit for this instead.

• Jags' rookie cornerback Reggie Nelson on Brady's night: "anyone can go 26-28 in a dropdown game." Thanks for that sage wisdom Reggie. Welcome to the NFL and the future bulletin board of the Patriots.

• It was great to see Laurence Maroney driving through people. I think that was the most reassuring part of watching his great night running the ball. I think that performance on offense gives next week's opponent even more to think about in picking their poison on which weapon they try to take away.

Of course I'll be rooting for the Chargers today to beat the Colts. The Colts have exactly what it takes to stay with the Patriots for all 60 minutes. A couple of things that make me feel better about possibly facing the Colts is that in their first meeting this year they had Dwight Freeney. Now they won't with him on the IR. The other is that the Patriots had 15 penalties in that game that were very costly and a few times kept alive drives that should have stopped. I'm willing to bet that won't happen again.

Division Round Picks

And here we go...

Seattle @ Green Bay (-8.5) : Seattle is the most difficult team to figure out. I think last week's game was the first time I saw them all season. But I have seen plenty of the Packers. We all know what the Ultimate Warrior can do and Ryan Grant has been a big plus running the ball. The Seattle defense isn't too shabby but I don't think they can keep up with the Packers offense. Then the real problem is that I think the Packers defense is way too stingy to give up many points to Hasslebeck and that offense. So I'm looking for a blowout here, say 35-17.

Jacksonville @ New England (-11.5): The only difficulty in making this pick was whether it was going to be a blowout or a close game. I think the Jaguars are a good team, but I really believe they have to be able to have a good passing day to win. Why? Because I don't think the Jaguar defense is as good as advertised, especially with the injuries they have. So I don't see them stopping the Patriots, no matter how many long drives they can get with Jones-Drew and Taylor. That means the 2nd half will be all about catching up and that will require Garrard to throw a lot more than he's used to. I just don't see that working out. He's been accurate with the fewest INT's this year, but he also doesn't throw it a lot. So that said, I expect the Patriots to score early and often and for this game to be a blowout. 38-21.

San Diego @ Indy (-7.5): I'm kind of surprised at how the general consensus on this game is that the Chargers have no chance. They are 10-2 in their last 12 games, already beat the Colts once this year, and LT has been dominant the last quarter of the season. I think the line is correct and I think the Colts will ultimately win, but I would not be shocked at an upset here. I think the Colts have the best homefield advantage in the stadium with the crowd noise and the pumped in crowd noise. I don't think it would be difficult for that to rattle Rivers, but I also think that LT will get a lot of short passes in this game and use his speed and strength to get big gains. In the end though, Peyton will lead them down the field at the end and win the game. 28-24.

New York @ Dallas (-7.5): The ride ends here for New York. I don't even think it will be close. Eli had two back-to-back great performances but I don't think he keeps up this weekend and will instead toss some awful picks. I think T.O. pulls a T.O. and comes out and gets 100+ yards on 2+ TD's and Romo gets the last laugh about people who complained he was in Mexico (what is that, about 2 hours away?) during the off week. 35-16.

Should be a fun weekend in the NFL. Enjoy the games.

Stats Inc & ESPN.com's Jeremy Green Picks the Jaguars

Can you feel that rumbling? That's because it's Thursday which is the day of the week where all over-the-top hyperbole about who would win the game this weekend completely reverses on itself and media people start picking the underdog. Up first is Jeremy Green who writes for Stats Inc and ESPN.com. My first thought after reading the column was that it couldn't have been written by someone at a very credible sounding place like Stats Inc. But let's take a look at some of Jeremy's arguments:

"The Patriots have dominated teams with their talent and because they're intimidating. But Del Rio isn't easily intimidated and neither are the Jags."

Is Pete Prisco ghost-writing his columns? You're playing the intimidated factor here? This isn't Tiger Woods and his steroids-inspired fist pump on 18th green. This is football. The Ravens, Eagles, and Giants didn't look very intimidated to me. The Patriots actually bring out the best in their opponents because they know they have to be completely focused and execute when they play them. That's a better (though opposite and more accurate) argument to make here Jeremy.

"You know what I love about the Jags? They don't get blown out."

Three of their five losses were 29-7, 41-24, and 42-28. They kind of look like blowouts to me. I'm going to say the Patriots might have an edge here with 3 less blowout losses than the Jaguars. So I guess I love that more about the Patriots than I do about the Jaguars.

"Secondly, I don't really care what the Patriots' defense is ranked -- it is overrated. Yes, they were fourth overall, 10th against the run and fourth in scoring defense. Those are great stats, but they are misleading. The Patriots' run defense was not very good against Dallas, which averaged 6.2 yards per carry. Or Indianapolis, as Joseph Addai ran for 112 yards. Or Baltimore (Willis McGahee had 138 yards) or the New York Giants, who averaged over four yards a carry."

ok, so what's your point? Let's take a look at some highlights of the 2004 Superbowl Champion Patriots who gave up 3.9 yards per carry over the regular season.

• Week 1 vs Indy - gave up 202 yards rushing
• Week 4 vs Buffalo - gave up 123 yards rushing
• Week 8 vs Pittsburgh - gave up 221 yards rushing
• Week 14 vs Cincinatti - gave up 150 yards rushing

Not only did they win all of those games, but they went on to beat Indy in the AFC Championship, Pittsburgh in the divisional round, and Buffalo again in week 10. They didn't turn out too bad. The Jags are #1 in the NFL in rushing of course. The Patriots played 6 of the remaining 9 teams that are ranked in the top 10 in rushing yards. 6-0 against teams ranked in the top 10 isn't too bad since rushing the ball constantly is supposed to be the silver bullet to stop the Patriots.

"After going 16-0, I will call them the best regular-season team of all time, but six of those wins came against the Bills, Dolphins and Jets, who were a combined 12-36. Still, despite that, the Patriots have eight Pro Bowlers while the Jaguars had zero. OK, Fred Taylor got in this week due to an injury to Willie Parker, but that's not exactly a rousing show of respect."

What? You know this is crazy. Why not make the easiest and most poetic argument instead. The 2001 Patriots were underdogs with a great defense, solid (not great) running game, and a QB that didn't make the spectacular throw, but managed the game very well with no mistakes. Then they went in and beat the #3 offense in the history of the game when no one gave them a chance. Doesn't that sound like Jacksonsville? The no respect thing? That sounds like the Patriots. One team feels is motivated by a lack of voted-in pro bowlers while the other team is motivated by an opponent's player who called the Patriots cheaters. Which team do you think will be better at playing the disrespect card this week? Anthony Smith's guarantee was mostly taken out of context, but they destroyed him.

"I know Jacksonville coach Jack Del Rio will be reminding his players all week that they had no Pro Bowl players voted in by their peers, opposing coaches or fans. He will be telling his team the Patriots' coaches, players and fans don't respect them since those are the people who make up the voting process. The Jaguars will be motivated."

No one feels more disrespected in this league than Rodney Harrison. "No one thought we could beat the Panthers!" But even Rodney wouldn't take that bait. This is one of the biggest reaches to play the disrespect card I've ever seen. And the Patriots are masters of exploiting anything no matter how insignificant in context (remember Brady blowing up at Schottenheimer over comments I'm still trying to decipher as insulting). But this is just silly.

"Teams that don't commit penalties don't get blown out."

Well in 2007 the Patriots and Jaguars both averaged 4.8 penalties per game. Of course Jeremy could have been a little more specific since neither the Patriots nor Jets went a single game without at least one penalty.

"Teams that take care of the ball don't get blown out."

Another statistic worthy of Stats Inc. Since his argument is just relative, we'll just note the fact that the Patriots led the league with a +16 turnover ratio and the Jaguars had a +9 ratio. So once again, very little chance of a blowout. I'm not sure that either of the last two arguments necessarily make the case for a Jaguars win, unless you mean moral victories compared with those of the Eagles, Ravens, and Giants.

"And in a twist, what the Jaguars do best on offense is also their best defense against the amazing Patriots offense."

Right, but why wouldn't the inverse of that statement be at least equally possible? The Patriots passing offense (historically great) can put up the points necessary for the Jaguars to abandon their running game to use the pass to catch up right? I think I saw that happen to a couple of teams this year.

"There really is not a defensive scheme yet devised to stop the Patriots' offense. It is the most explosive attack we have seen in a long time, but know this: New England won't be able to run on Jacksonville."

Why would they want to? How does that even become an issue? Even when they were blowing people out and averaging 5+ cards per carry, they still passed to kill the clock. And I have it on pretty good authority that you won't see them trying to overcome a Jaguars lead by running the ball.

"Tom Brady, Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Co. can't beat you if they are not on the field."

I wholeheartedly agree here Jeremy. I don't see any way the Patriots offense can score while not on the field. And if the Patriots can't take the field at some point during Saturday night's game I think there is a real possibility they will lose.

"And undoubtedly, Del Rio will have a great game plan because he is one of the best coaches in the NFL."

Um..hello?



And in conclusion...

"A fan never thinks his team can lose, but no team is invincible. In the playoffs, it's one-and-done and anything can happen. Even Jacksonville beating New England."

I'll take the fan supporting that case of his 16-0 team over the Stats Inc guy that says he's not a fan of either team, but is rooting for bad weather to help slow the Patriots passing game to help support his vague laws of football blowout probability.

Greatest Individual Seasons In Like 4-Eva

ESPN.com has a Page 2 section up (so you know it's on the second tier of credibility) that lists the overall 25 greatest individual seasons across a fairly arbitrary list of sports, then breaks down the top 10 from each sport. Instead of getting a coronary by being up in arms about the rankings and snubs, I'll just offer some comments. I definitely encourage you to check it out and come back and submit your own comments.

Here is the link: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=080109/seasons

• First off, I wouldn't blame anyone that started hating Tom Brady today simply because he inspired this entire fiasco.

• Second, if you look at the reasons in each of the sports, they all use statistics heavily, how much they revolutionized the game, and actual context of the era they played in with the rules, fitness training advantages, etc. Of course none of them weighs this criteria with any kind of consistency and only cites the non-statistics to make their point. So right away you can see why this is a Page 2 special section.

• Football: Marino is ahead of Manning who is ahead of Brady. The ONLY reason Chadiha gives for putting him over those two is that the rules were different, and whoah, imagine what he could do today! It's not that the rules argument is invalid that gets me, but that it's the ONLY reason he gives.

• Manning's 2004 season is ahead of Brady's 2007 season because Manning threw 4 TD's in 4 straight games and he sat in most of the 4th quarters and most of the last game. So you know that he would have put up even more awe-inspiring numbers if he played 60 minutes each week (thanks Stupid Flanders). If you compare the numbers, Brady beats Manning on basically every meaningful stat except passer rating. How could that be, you ask, if Brady had more TD's, Passing Yards, Yards per attempt, and fewer interceptions? It's because Brady threw about 80 more passes. Since he threw 80 more passes, that makes Manning more efficient. Yes it's exactly as dumb as it sounds and why fewer and fewer people cite QB rating as an argument winner anymore.

• One more thing on the Manning - Brady seasons. Chadiha cites Brady as the best big-game QB of his generation before this year and cemented it with this season. He also gives him props for the 16-0 but for this particular discussion it apparently doesn't matter. If you're sitting in the 4th quarter of most of your games and almost the entire final game, how much pressure are you under? Brady spent half the season coasting, then the expectations of 16-0 and the number of 4th quarter comebacks should have made a bigger difference.

• Ok this is really the last point on that topic. Manning had his leading running back rush 334 times for 1548 yards that season which is fantastic. Brady had his leading rusher carry 185 times for 835 yards. Not quite as much pressure on you when you have the #2 rushing attack in the NFL. Of course, maybe if you're a Colts fan, you'll have some insight into other unseen factors in 2004 that put Manning ahead of Brady. But if you're Chadiha you didn't write them down.

• Since all positions are apparently created equal in this list, shouldn't Devin Hester's 2007 season be on there? What other player dominated at his position in a single season more than Hester did this year with 4 TD on punt returns and 2 TD on kick returns?
  

• Switching to baseball, Rob Neyer immediately changes the direction of criteria and discounts the kind of rules you saw in the NFL argument, to put Bonds in #1 and #3. I don't know how you put Bonds' 2001 season ahead of Babe's 1921 season in which he dominated his peers like no one ever has. There is ZERO accounting for the era that each played in and how their performance compared with the rest of the league....which brings me to....

• #8 Pedro Martinez 1999. Wait...Neyer's first sentence in his Pedro argument is: "In a year in which American League pitchers combined for a 4.86 ERA, Martinez posted a 2.07 ERA that was nearly a run-and-a-half lower than the No. 2 man on the list." But, how could that be when he just completely dismissed this angle in putting Bonds ahead of Babe? What's the deal Rob? Is it this bizarre "ill pick the winner then find stats to support it" angle that helped you stick a fork in Jim Rice? On a side note, 1999 is still the greatest Red Sox season of my life time. 2004 and 2007 don't come even remotely close (because both regular season's were kind of boring). 1999 had everyone changing their plans to watch every Pedro start, in the same way my parents never went out in the early 70's (pre-bratty children) when Bobby Orr was playing. It also had his 1-hitter 17k performance in Yankee stadium, which is still the best pitching performance I have ever seen on TV, and of course the Cleveland series, which was just incredible and a solid #2 behind the 2004 ALCS.

• By the way, Pedro at #8 was only one of two pitchers in the top 10 (Lefty Grove at #10). It's nice to see this list is consistent with how MVP voting in baseball goes.

• Phil Esposito at #9 in hockey? That was unexpected and probably unwarranted. But my only personal memories of Esposito are at his number retirement (where Bourque gave him his jersey and took 77 instead) so I'm probably wrong here.

• Hey, there's Bobby Orr at #2. And wow, how about that glowing argument - for revolutionizing the position and being the first ever defenseman to win a scoring title amid a season that has never been matched.

• And yet here is Gretzky the net loiterer at #1. I don't actually have any problem with Gretzky at #1 in itself. But ESPN.com's David Amber says that there is no wrong answer in choosing which is his best season. So why is his next best season at #5 and not #2? Is Gretzky here because he's the greatest ever or because that season was better than anyone elses? or is it because as Amber puts it, "...it was Gretzky's ability with grace and style to bring the game of hockey to the masses that stands out from the 1981-82 season"? Yup, no one dominated the Lady Bing in the 80's quite like Gretzky. Don't get me wrong, I know Gretzky dominated his peers that year by setting the points record and completing dominating the scoring title. I guess I've been away too long from Hockey to know that grace and style matter more.
  

• TANGENT ALERT: The Hockey section just made me depressed that the Bruins are going into their 19th year of unwatchability so here is a clip of the Hanson brothers debut in Slapshot that always make me feel better after a 1-0 shutout loss to a team steeped in hockey tradition like the Carolina Hurricanes (they were the Hartford Whalers the last time I really followed hockey).

• By the way, this clip contains adult language and may not be suitable for all corporate locations..especially if you work for me and you're spending company time reading this...for shame:
  

• My biggest grievance is with the NBA. Of course when the byline lists ESPN.com as the writer, you wonder if the person who compiled it preferred to remain nameless because of how they mailed it in completely. This list goes almost exclusively based on statistics and also the very popular and accurate "player efficiency rating." (see MJ at #3). Shaq's 1999 season at #9 is beyond ridiculous.

• I'm not even bothered by the complete exclusion of Celtics' players on this list because of the obvious lack of thought that went into it. If it were more well thought out and took into consideration several factors beyond pts/assts/rb/efficiency rating then you'd see Larry Bird's 1986 season might make it. But the supporting cast and selective memory of the nameless contributor to this section probably keeps him off it. Which is fine, 16 championships is a good look at the bright side.

• And then there's College Basketball and you can smile now because Bird is included. But where is he included? Since his name is Bird he's listed second to Lew Alcindor in a bullet-list rather than a ranking. Here's to you Page 2 Editor, you really know how to put a top notch section together that will reflect well on the sports leader!

• A couple of other notes on the College Basketball list. Apparently, they deviate from the others as well to make arguments about how well they did in the tournament. Of course the lists are for Greatest Individual Seasons, not Greatest Individual Regular Seasons, which of course now just pisses me off more about Marino at #1. Since Brady's season is still ongoing, I wonder if that means winning a Superbowl would propel him to #2 or possibly even #1? That's just silly, but maybe #2 though!

• Golf. yeesh. Annika Sorenstam at #5. It's the freakin LPGA for chrissakes. She doesn't even make the cut when she plays PGA events. How is she ahead of anyone here? Why not do a separate LPGA list? Or why not just combine the NCAA Basketball list with the NBA list? Of course now something else is really bothering me....

• What about Josh Gibson?!?! Why not include the greatest season in the history of the Negro Baseball League? Gibson hit .467 with 53 home runs in 1933 against all levels of competition (unless Wikipedia is lying to me). If you're going to include Annika Sorenstam in Golf, why would you completely disregard the Negro League for baseball? Of course Gibson's numbers are somewhat suspect because "all levels of competition" includes the Negro League and the independent league. But it was a 137 game regular season in which he dominated more than anyone other than Babe Ruth's 1921 season. The point isn't whether the stats are completely accurate or not (they're the accepted stats which is important), but that he, and anyone else I might forget from the Negro League, were not even considered. How do I know that? Because he hit .467 with 53 homeruns. I'm thinking that trumps at least Mr. Freeze Ted Williams' 1941 season with a .406 average and some eye-popping walk totals.
  

• Since I completely loathe college football, I'm not going to bother to comment.

• Ok I lied. I had to see if and where Flutie ranked. #8. Why? "He helped put Boston College on the map as a national university. Applications for admission soared after he rose to fame at BC." I'm not even kidding. That's what it really says. I'm super stoked for the Dean of Admissions, but come on. Of course the Hail Mary was great, but the actual game in which it happened was just phenomenal. Well admissions soared which is the true mark of a champion.

• I'm seriously proud of myself for recognizing 6 of the 10 NASCAR drivers listed.

• If you're a woman that was offended at my earlier Annika Sorenstam complaint you'll be very happy with the lesbian...err...woman-dominated Tennis list. Why Steffi Graff at #1 you might ask? Well it was an Olympic year and she won a gold, which means that in order for the other 9 tennis players to have a chance at #1, they needed the stars to align so that their best year fell in an Olympic year, so that they could compete and win a gold. Of course the Olympics presents tennis competition that is much higher than a WTA tournament. Before beating Gabriela Sabbatini in the finals, Steffi disposed of mixed-doubles ace Zina Garrison and Manuela Maleeva, Bulgaria's greatest Tennis player ever!
  

• Considering all of the various inconsistencies and playing loose with who qualifies for inclusion, I want to submit my 1985 Babe Ruth Baseball season where I turned a winless Almeida & Carlson Insurance team around for a trip to the Championship. I batted over .500 that year, would have had 15 home runs if there was a fence and I wasn't David Ortiz-slow, and struck fear into the hearts of opposing pitchers so much that when facing the most dominant pitcher in the league, I still became the first player in the history of the Plymouth Babe Ruth League to be intentionally walked. I also hit a triple off my friend Jeff Brown after he threw at my head. Suck it Jeff. I figured I should come in just ahead of Pedro at #8.
  

• All things considered, it was an entertaining Page 2 section that made up for the lackluster TMQB, and the complete lack of Sportsguy columns (that book better be good). I just hope I didn't steal Scoop Jackson's thunder by being the first to complain about the lack of Negro League baseball player inclusions. Stay strong Scoop...I know it's been a tough week for you since Clemens didn't get any benefits of the doubt from anyone, in turn killing your chance at writing a Roger Clemens racial injustice column. There's still time to write about David Garrard being underrated because of stereotypes and not being given a fair shake column before he sets for his off-season vacation home on Sunday.