Unholy Quotables

"With every question he asked, it became clearer that despite any declaration to the contrary, he viewed me as an adversary. Rather than seeking to elicit information, his questioning sought to elicit a conclusion that he had reached before the hearing began."

-Anita Hill (Congress's version of Matt Walsh) on Arlen Specter's questioning of her during the Clarence "is that a pubic hair in my Coke" Thomas

Monday, November 12, 2007

Week 10 Weirdness

Here are some thoughts on Week 10 that I'll call MMQB's Last Call Snap Judgments Between the Hashmarks :

1. I got a few requests to comment on Adam Vinatieri missing that gimmee last night: A few thoughts came to mind.

a. He left for the "big money" though I'm guessing he only broke even because he had to give up his lucrative Papa Gino's spokesperson gig. He went to the Colts, which is the football equivalent of going to the Yankees. So now I hate him. Until he retires and goes into Canton with an Elvis instead of a horseshoe on his helmet.

b. Funny how you miss the most smug-looking face in football until he's on the other side. Adam looks cocky all the time...until last night of course. Now that he's on the Colts I hate seeing it, because that kind of smug look belongs on the Evil Patriots.

c. "Adam Misses a Gimmee!" that call made me feel warm inside because not only is he pulling a Vanderjerk with his non-clutchness, but it meant that the Patriots homefield advantage throughout the playoffs was just gift-wrapped by a former evil Patriot.

d. Which leads me to a conspiracy theory I'd like to create and start circulating because the Patriots are off and we're thirsty for something evil. "So did you hear that the NFL is investigating Belichick and Vinatieri because Colts President Bill Polian believes that Vinatieri is still working for Belichick and paying him to miss kicks against the Patriots and any that could decide the game in the 4th quarter? Before spygate, no one would have ever thought that that kind of edge would be necessary, but now, it seems like a real possibility." If I'm lucky Bob Kravitz will pick this up for his Tuesday column.

2. Peyton Manning had 6 interceptions and yet was in a position to still win the game. What does this mean? It means the Indianapolis defense really is that good, the Chargers are still really bad, and Peyton Manning brought out a new "Peyton" face that Bill Simmons is going to need to write about. I've never seen that one before. I've never seen the facial resemblance to brother Eli as strongly as it showed last night.

3. If you thought the "if Marvin Harrison were playing this would be completely different" storyline was gaining strength after last week's loss to the Evil Patriots, then get ready for an onslaught of defenders this week. They're right of course, but considering Harrison is expected to be in pain the entire rest of the season, no one is going to put a big emphasis on him come playoff time if he plays. Right now I don't see Indy getting past Pittsburgh (no matter which team grabs the #2 seed).

4. The Steelers look sort of scary right now. The Evil Patriots should still roll over them because the anger burning in their black souls is still stronger than any "who dey?" emotion that the Steelers can drum up. But that is going to be the game of the Christmas Season!

5. There are few teams I enjoy seeing lose more than the Ravens. So I'm enjoying life quite a bit right now. Will they ever have a good quarterback? I'd say probably not.

6. Brett Favre is a warrior. An old warrior that is playing with child-like exuberance and a passion of the game, no one has ever seen before. He is a god among men, and the reason John Madden wakes up in the morning. His shuffle pass is pure genius, his arm is as strong as an ox, and he plays the game.....the way it was meant to be played. I felt sick just writing that. If you're a fan of the evil disrespectful Tom Brady you have to be a little worried that Favre is going to steal the MVP away because 80% of all sportswriters have a man-crush on him. Except Jason Whitlock who could never quit Tom Brady.

7. The Packers do look really good though. Packers vs Cowboys is going to be a great game, but too bad it's the week after Thanksgiving instead of the day of. The Packers defense is so solid, easily the difference why Brett Favre is better today than he was the last 5 years.

8. I'm not quite scared of the Bills like I was before their narrow victory over the putrid Miami Dolphins. The story in the Globe about how Belichick has been working 6am-6pm every day during the bye week to prepare for the bills also makes me warm and fuzzy. That is what you need in an anti-christ; the drive that says, "I know we could beat them if I just went to Nantucket for the week, but I want 60 points, and I want them to complain about it, so I'll work every second of every day this week instead."

9. Jaguars 28 - Titans 13. I'm still waiting for the generation of scrambling quarterbacks to take over the league. Vince Young ran for 52 yards yesterday, completed 24 of 41 passes for 257 yards and a touchdown, but still had 2 interceptions. I still think he'll be good...Kordell Stewart good.

10. For people who read Boston sports columnists, read this "effort" from Bob Kravitz and then imagine that kind of story being written by a Boston sports columnist. The thought is laughable. Just another reason I hate Kravitz and the Colts. I swear he does this just to put them on a pedestal and make everything surrounding the Colts glow with divine grace. Stupid Flanders was very stupid yesterday, Manning was suddenly the bad Brett Favre, and Vinatieri was Vanderjagt. But yet it was a proud day for the Colts.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Evil Patriot if the Week: Adam Vinatieri

Unknown said...

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who gets a huge thrill out of Vinatieri miss-managing his "money". I even decide to put up a counter on my blog to compare his missed FG count to Gostkowski's.

You can check it out at:
True Patriots Love