Week 16 Picks

Tom Brady today won the AP Male Athlete of the Year Award.

I feel bad for Roger Federer. He's more dominant in his sport than Tiger Woods will ever be, more dominant an athlete than Barry Bonds ever was, and almost certainly the best his sport has ever seen. Too bad his sport is Tennis and he's not an American, so we don't really care here. He was the runner-up this year to Brady, who is having one of the best (if not THE best) QB season ever. So there really is no way to deny him.

Moving on to the picks...

Steelers beat the Rams last night by a lot. But lost Willie Parker. Ben got a perfect passer rating with these numbers: 16-20 for 261 yards with 3 TD. Whic of course begs the question. Will they really miss Parker, or is it time to take the handcuffs off Big Ben and let him sling it? If I were a Steelers fan, I would want to see Big Ben sling it around 40 times to see what happens.

All picks in bold are against the spread:

Cowboys @ Panthers (-10) - Tony Romo bounces back, Jessica Simpson stays home, and things go back to normal. Dallas needs the win to try to keep up with Green Bay for the #1 seed.

Giants @ Bills (+2.5) - I like the Bills to finish strong and the Giants to finish like they always do...meek. It will be a close one but the Bills will pull it out in the end. The Bills are out and the Giants need a win to maintain playoff positioning, but it doesn't matter. Eli Manning is your quarterback and this game is in Buffalo.

Packers @ Bears (+8.5) - The Ultimate Warrior puts another notch on his belt with a dominating win at Chicago. And like the Cowboys they are fighing for the #1 seed and are on the wrong side of the tiebreaker. By the way, I'd like to see Lovie Smith coach the Dolphins next year.

Browns @ Bengals (+2.5) - Put all of your Christmas money on the Browns. The Bengals have no life left in them. By the way, I think Marvin Lewis would be a good fit for the Dolphins as well. You can have Parcels kick the butts of all the thugs, and Marvin can focus on coaching.

Chiefs @ Lions (-4.5) - Remember when the Lions were 6-2 and on top of the world? Now they're getting 4.5 points against the Chiefs. Just brutal. Matt Millen, the Isiah Thomas of the NFL, no doubt will return next year for another great season of bad draft picks and no free agent signings. They've lost 6 straight but I'm still taking the Lions this week.

Texans @ Colts (-6.5) - I think it's too early for the Jim Sorgi show, considering they have a first round bye as well, so I figure they'll blow out the Texans and put Sorgi in around the mid-third quarter. Either way, they cover and the Texans remain the Texans.

Raiders @ Jaguars (-12.5) - Jaguars are scary good now. The Raiders are still just scary. Who would have thought Willie Parker would be down for the count before Fred Taylor (now considered a borderline hall of famer somehow by ESPN).

Redskins @ Vikings (-6.5) - If Sean Taylor is a member of the Pro Bowl team for the NFC this year, can we get one of Michael Vick's dogs to be the mascot? (before you get offended remember this is the Evil Patriots Blog). Vikings continue their march towards a second round loss in the playoffs.

1972 Dolphins @ 2007 Patriots (-21) - ESPN tried (and failed) to do a simulation of what the game would look like if the 72 Dolphins faced the 07 Patriots. Then they added about 50 pounds to each lineman, modernized their game, and I would swear on my life, still edited the results to make it look closer. Patriots won a close one with a phenomenal game from Brady. In this game, Jason Taylor will look like he's the only one playing on the field for the Dolphins. 50 degrees and partly cloudy in Foxboro on Sunday. Sounds like a recipe for a TD-record-tying performance to me. Final Score: 41-3

Eagles @ Saints (-2.5) - I think the Eagles have played their guts out too much in the last three weeks to be enough of a threat to the Saints, who are coming on at the end. Could be a close game or it could be one of those increasingly rare Brees 34-45 387 4TD days.

Falcons @ Cardinals (-9.5) - That's tough when you're getting 9.5 against the Cardinals. Seriously though, shouldn't PETA be lobbying for some special mascot honor for a Michael Vick dog? Cardinals cover, just barely.

Ravens @ Seahawks (-9.5) - some really high point spreads this week. The Ravens are completely mailing it in, but I think the AFC vs NFC plays a part here and the Seahawks make too many mistakes on offense. They won't cover but the Seahawks might win a close one.

Jets @ Titans (-8.5) - I think the Jets will finish strong after getting an emotional lift from last weekend's game. The Titans did call the Jets the best 3-11 team in the history of the NFL. That has to mean something right? Jets win outright here.

Bucs @ 49ers (+6.5) - Back to reality, the 49ers lose to the Bucs who might make some noise in the playoffs. More so than the Giants anyway. The Patriots' chances of landing the #2 were dashed last week, but they're still hopeful for a top 5 if the 49ers can just get back to doing what they do best and lose the last two games.

Broncos @ Chargers (-8.5) - Chargers continue to march toward the playoffs. It's too early for Norv Turner to completely turn this upside down, so the Broncos go down in spectacular fashion.
I'll be back on Monday with a recap. If you read this blog regularly it means you probably have ADHD, which also means, you'll be out starting your xmas shopping this weekend like me.

Enjoy the weekend and the 40 shots to the booth of Don Shula with a forced smile on his face sitting next to a drunk Nick Buoniconti with his head in his hands.