Week 17 Picks

The hype is getting a little silly for this game. 16-0 would be fantastic but all of these writers who are pumping up the game and including the word "history" and "perfect" into the result of it, will be coming back next week with "well that was just the start of the journey...". Bill Parcells sat with Chris Berman and proceeded to predict the 2007 Patriots would win over every "greatest team ever" contender out there. Tom Brady is now the best QB to ever play the game. Everyone except the '72 Dolphins themselves think the Patriots would roll over that team. Bill Belichick is the best coach in the history of the NFL. These are all great stories I'd love to read in the week following the Superbowl, but...

Let's say the Patriots lose in the playoffs and the Colts go on to win again. The story changes and every sportswriter will develop selective amnesia. The Colts will be a dynasty, Manning will be back in front of the Manning/Brady debate, and the Patriots will be listed on all future "greatest teams of all time" lists somewhere around #10. Belichick will go back to beating just a cheater who ran up the score and wore a hoodie, a fashion disgrace to the good men who dress in warmup nylon suits and fleece pullovers.

So the hype is fun, but it's almost like setting us up for a fall. Take away the hype and if the Patriots lose, it will just be disappointing. But with all the hype and the hyperbole, a loss in the playoffs will bring the kind of media hypocrisy backlash like no other team has ever seen.

But first things first and tomorrow's game can't get here soon enough...so on to the picks:

Pats @ Giants (+14.5) - The records will be secure in the 1st half, except for Moss' 2nd TD, which will take some time in the 3rd quarter. Belichick will play all his players through the 3rd quarter with a 21 point lead, prompting Bryan Gumbel to question Belichick's strategy, while Deion Sanders mutters something incoherently with the fervor of a crack addict who just spotted his dealer. Fortunately, I live in Boston, so I won't be subjected to Gumbel and will watch the game on ABC instead. The Giants will play their starters through the 1st quarter and that's it. They'll already be down 2 TD at that point, so it'll be time to sit. Antonio Pierce will still be unimpressed with the Patriots, but he'll have time to learn to like them since he'll be home playing golf before the Patriots start their postseason run.

At this point, I'm only going to bother picking the games that have some kind of impact since this is mail-it-in week.

Titans @ Colts (-5.5) - Titans need the game, Stupid Flanders has already said he'll rest Manning, so there's not much chance of Jim Sorgi leading a charge. I do expect Manning to play a quarter if Marvin Harrison is actually ready to play so that they can get some reps together, but that's about it.

49ers @ Browns (-9.5) - Browns will dominate because they need to win to keep the final wild card spot away from the Titans. The 49ers will lose and the Patriots will get the 8th overall pick, which is fine.

Cowboys @ Redskins (-8.5) - Weird to see the Redskins giving 8.5. The game is at Washington, which helps, Todd Collins hasn't come back to earth yet, so the Redskins will win and take home the 6th seed. They won't cover though.

Saints @ Bears (+2.5) - Saints need to win (which they will) and losses by the Vikings and Redskins. Tall task, not going to happen. They'll win, but their not-so-magical season is over. Maybe the real Drew Brees will show up next year.

Vikings @ Broncos (+2.5) - The Vikings win, capping off a good year (no arrests) and the promise of a better year next year if Adrian Peterson can stay healthy. The Broncos will go have a beer with the Ravens and wonder what went wrong. Billick and Shanahan will be thankful that their safety deposit boxes each contain incriminating evidence against their owners, thereby keeping their jobs safe for another year.

The NFC is 2 games ahead of the AFC this year in conference matchups. What does this mean? Nothing except it gives a sportswriter something to write about in the days leading up to the Pro Bowl. I'm picking an even split this weekend to give the NFC the regular season moral victory.

Coming Sunday, recap of the Patriots-Giants game. Enjoy the game.