Week 15 Picks & Mitchell Report Rant

I think my favorite part of yesterday's "Mitchell Report" release was that Jose Canseco tried to crash the press conference with former Senator Mitchell, but was stopped at the door because he's not a member of the media. It's too bad because I'm sure someone out there would have given him press credentials just to see the unintentional comedy unfold.

My quick take on the report: It's such a small look at the steroid picture, the names were only necessary to provide credibility to the report, and not nearly enough blame went to Bud Selig. In Boston we were chanting "steroids..steroids" at Canseco in the late 80's. Steroids were a topic of conversation with baseball from the minute the NFL had their own problem with it. For Bud Selig to pretend he didn't know anything is just a complete lie, and if it wasn't, then his head was so far in the sand, that it makes him the most incompetent commissioner in the history of the game.

And there is absolutely no way that it's just a coincidence that Pettite signed his new contract this week, Tejada was traded the day before the release, and Gagne signed a contract with the Brewers. Everyone knew for at least a week that the report was being released on Thursday, so why would you go out of your way to finalize deals just prior to it, when these deals typically takes weeks and months to complete. Simple. You wouldn't unless you knew something.

Enough baseball talk until the Red Sox finally land Santana. Ellsbury charges for his autograph, so I'm already onboard with sending him over to the Twins. Besides, we can sign him when he becomes a stud free agent in a few years anyway.

On to the picks (straight up this week):

Bengals @ 49ers - I don't even know how the 49ers will start getting better next season. They don't have any realistic shot in this game as Coach in Suit continues to fail while Coach in Sweats continues to dominate. Meanwhile Coach in Orange will be fired then hired by the Falcons in the offseason. You heard it here first!

Bills @ Browns - This is a good matchup but the Browns have the potential for some big plays down the field and the Bills just don't. I still like the Bills' defense more, but I think they've peaked and won't be able to keep up. Who would have thought Romeo would have his team headed to the playoffs?

Seahawks @ Panthers - The Seahawks are looking like a serious contender in the NFC, and if they played Green Bay in Seattle in the playoffs I might give them a chance to win. But since there is no way that could happen, the Seahawks will have to settle for a moderately successful run for the playoffs. The Panthers continue to suck. Remember when John Fox was one of the best coaches in the NFL? This is why you have the Anti-Christ and Tony "Stupid Flanders" Dungy as the Brady/Manning of coaches and everyone else is just a year away from being on the hot seat.

Falcons @ Bucs - I'd actually love to see the Falcons win this week as a collective "eff you" to Bobby Petrino, the Rick Pitino of the NFL/NCAA. But sadly they are actually that bad.

Packers @ Rams - Upset Special of the week!! This is all assuming Bulger gets the nod, gets a fresh optimistic attitude and comes out firing. The game is on the turf which helps the Rams a bit. It also helps Rams' defenders get under the Favre "why the hell is he throwing it" passes more. Look for 3 INT's for Favre. I don't really believe anything I just wrote, but it sounds plausible enough to root for.

Jaguars @ Steelers - This is the non-revenge game of the week. I honestly don't know how to judge either of these teams at this point (though I have a pretty good idea about the Steelers). I think at home the Steelers will handle the Jaguars. Fred Taylor is way overdue for his annual hamstring injury so look for that in this game.

Cardinals @ Saints - In the Catholic Church Power Rankings, Saints clearly outrank Cardinals, so I'm going with the Saints.

Jets @ Patriots - I'm not even kidding, this will be a close game. The weather will absolutely be a factor, mostly because of the wind and slippery field. If you jam Moss at the line just a bit under these conditions his route is completely screwed up. Looks for lots of Maroney and the dink and dunk that you saw in the 2nd half of the Pittsburgh game. I'm thinking 24-10 (relatively speaking, that is a close game). The Jets TD will almost certainly come on a fumble by Stallworth or Moss that will be returned for a touchdown. No way Kellen Clemens leads a scoring drive for anything other than 1 field goal.

Ravens @ Dolphins - I just don't see how Miami can score this game unless it's on defense. I'm thinking 6-0 would be an appropriate score here.

Titans @ Chiefs - Will Jeff Fisher order a hit on Anthony Gonzalez? Titans win the battle of the afterthought teams.

Colts @ Raiders - I'm guessing the Colts get 21 in the 1st quarter and then rest their starters the rest of the way. Look for Jim Sorgi to have an outstanding game.

Eagles @ Cowboys - Ok Eagles, THIS game is your superbowl. Can you get it done? Don't you feel after the effort you put in against the Patriots that you should be able to compete with the team that got blown out by the Patriots? Can't Andy Reid order a hit on Terell Owens? The answer to these questions is no, so the Eagles lose.

Lions @ Chargers - I hate both of these teams but God's Team has already lost their chance to win 10 games as Kitna predicted, so what are they playing for? The Chargers need to keep pushing and find ways to win despite Norv Turner on the sidelines.

Giants @ Redskins - Todd Collins is at QB again for the Redskins. That means the Giants have the edge at QB for the first time this season. I didn't see Strahan on Best Damn Sports Show this week, so I assume he's focused (on the game or how to kill his ex-wife we can't be sure).

Bears @ Vikings - Vikings win. Looks like another Monday night where I don't feel compelled to watch football. Good news! The debut of Clash of the Choirs, the new hit show where music "superstars" go to their hometowns to form choirs to compete against each other is finally on tv after months of excruciating promos. Who will win? Nick Lachey? Michael Bolton? Tune in! By the way, does anyone else see Michael Bolton on TV anymore and not hear the following exchange from Office Space in their head?

Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until that no-talent ass clown became
famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

Enjoy RevengeBowl. Nice to have the Patriots back on at 1pm in the afternoon.