Thoughts While Waiting the 6 Days 30 minutes 14 Seconds until Kickoff

It's the Monday of Superbowl Week so here comes the inane commentary...

• There is no shortage of current players that are sitting in for expert analysis of the Superbowl match up. 100% of them did absolutely no research of any kind before sitting down and it's shown so far. Donovan McNabb, D'Brickshaw Ferguson, Jay Feely are all featured on ESPN today to tell us things like "You have to get pressure on Brady", "Eli's at the top of his game coming in" and "The Giants are playing good right now so I think they'll get the upset." You have to have scored real low on the wonderlic test to be out-dueled by Skip Bayless, as McNabb was today.

• By the way, Dana Jacobson of ESPN's First Take just did a big apology for her "F*** Notre Dame...F*** Jesus" drunken tirade at the Mike & Mike Roast (why such a roast ever exsisted is another story). I heard it and thought it was the "lynch Tiger" woman from the Golf Channel. Considering no one ever watched Cold Pizza and very few people watch ESPN First Take (mostly because of Skip Bayless), this could only have been good for Dana's career since it's the first time anyone is talking about her. Apparently she was suspended, but who would have noticed?
  

• As an aside, I have just now received express written permission from Al Sharpton, Scoop Jackson, and Jim Brown to be able to suggest that someone should lynch Skip Bayless.
  

• I'm enjoying the new "dirty" moniker that the Patriots are being given (notice I didn't saying "earning"). When linemen accuse other linemen of being dirty, former players laugh their asses off. Why? Because every lineman plays dirty. Every lineman throws punches on the bottom of a pile, steps on feet, and pokes people in the eye. It's always happened and always will. That's why people like Mark Schlereth and Mike Golic burst out laughing when they hear about Seymour or Matt Light playing dirty.

• On that note, Congratulations to Vince Wilfork, Evil Patriot of the Year. Vince clinched this award by receiving his fourth fine of the season this week, a dubious face masking infraction. Well done Vince. If this were the Masters, Rodney Harrison would be helping you into your green jacket as we speak. Early candidates for next year's award are Seymour, Light, and a sleeper pick in Logan Mankins.

• Mike Sando at ESPN.com devotes an entire story to Richard Seymour's alleged classlessity.

• The Evil Patriots Blog got a mention on Eric Wilbur's Boston.com blog this weekend. Nice to see all of this extra time on the 'puter isn't going to waste. Thanks Eric! I take back everything I ever said about you in the past or will say in the future.

• This "factoid that may only interest me" from Peter King's MMQP column today sums up the case for whether it's worth investing the 10 minutes: "I did not want the moment to pass without noting that the hiring of the new Falcons' coach, Michael Smith, was broken by Michael Smith of ESPN.com."

• My gut feeling this week is that the trademark "wrinkle" for a Patriots' superbowl gameplan will feature Troy Brown heavily. You heard it here first.
  

• You know how old men look in their caskets during a wake when they cake the makeup on them to make them look "fresh" but end up just making them look like Liberace? Well that's Bob Ryan every time he appears on PTI, Around the Horn, and especially the Sports Reporters. My god Bob, tone it down a bit, you look like a cross between Bela Lugosi and every guy from Amadeus. By the way, if you're under 30 substitute Clay Aiken for Liberace and Tom Cruise in Interview with a Vampire for Bela Lugosi.

• Now that I think about it, Dana Jacobson does have a small amount of milf-appeal. I'd put her just behind Rachel "Goth Princess" Nichols on the ESPN Hittability Rankings of which I just made up and only include those two so far. You have to assume that when Rachel Nichols goes out on the town, she hits the goth clubs dressed in lots of black suede, black silk, and black painted fingernails right?

• Don Shula will be jumping up and down in the stadium if the Giants win. Does he ever turn down a request for an interview? I think he's on a quest to out-jackass Mercury Morris.

• My favorite "real" prop-bet that I've heard so far is whether Tom Petty will spark up a joint during the half-time show. A $1 bet will get you $2500 if you win. Of course if it were simply "will Tom Petty be stoned during the half time show" you would probably have to bet $4500 to win $1.

• Speaking of Superbowl betting, how many people do you think are out there that have already made arrangements with their bookie to fork over their $600 tax rebate (that hasn't been approved yet) if the Patriots don't cover? Besides my friend Dale, I'm going to say 50-60 people so far.